The Only Way to Fail Is to Give Up

Photo by G. Edwards Photography

This past weekend at New York Comic Con was a ton of fun for a lot of reasons, but there was something that happened which reminded me of how far I've come in the last year and it's a sentiment that I think everyone should try to incorporate into their lives.

As you all know, I spent over 120 hours in the last month making my Dragon Age costume for Comic Con. I learned a whole new set of skills. I spent a lot of money, sweat, tears, and passion on creating my Tallis costume for NYCC. I carefully tested everything out before the event and wore the armor around the house for a few hours so I could make adjustments for comfort and fit. I was ready.

I wouldn't find out how sadly mistaken I was till the morning of the con on Friday. My friend had done my hair and make-up, another had helped apply my ears, and yet another was on hand to help me get suited up. I had a support team of champions at the ready to help me look my best. I'd done a Whole30 leading up to day of the con to slim down a little. Well, apparently I slimmed down more than a little. When I pulled on the leg guards, they immediately slid down my legs. I couldn't take a step without them falling down around my ankles. The more that happened, the more they started to destroy my boot covers. When I was going to the bag check the bag ripped my choker apart somehow. It was like watching Vesuvius destroy Pompeii. The pieces of the puzzle were all there, but they were losing functionality by the second. I really just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Not only had I made this costume for me, but I made it so that I could have an immediate "in" for starting conversations with people and telling them about this site and my mission to help my fellow geeks get what they want out of life, whether that's getting healthy, getting into cosplay, or just chasing after their life goals. Obviously conventions are fun, but they're also great for networking and cosplay is a wonderful way to bring fellow fans out of the wood work. 

It was just a gargantuan disappointment. It made me miss one of the panels I was most looking forward to and it felt like the world was crashing down around me as my masterpiece fell apart. It got to the point where I had to make an important decision. I could struggle to wear it all day and be horribly uncomfortable as the costume was destroyed through wear and tear, or I could take it off and just be a normal con-goer. That might sound like a silly thing to stress over, but in the past year I've realize how very important cosplay is to me. It has completely changed my convention experience and I oddly feel naked without it. 

As horrible as that all felt, I also knew that making the decision as efficiently as possible was for the best. If I had stayed in that state of dejected panic, I would have ruined the whole weekend for myself. After giving myself five minutes to be super depressed, I got myself to a bathroom, changed into my street clothes, shoved my business cards in my pocket, and hit the show floor with renewed vigor. 

The next day, I grabbed my Ren Faire costume, and added a few pieces from Tallis for details. Even though I wasn't a recognizable character, I still got attention from photographers and other cosplayers because I stood out from the average con goer. Every day, I made it work with what I had and I made sure to create my own opportunities to meet my personal heroes and anyone else I thought would enjoy hearing about Project Reroll. I made friends in every panel line and made a schedule for all the signings, industry meet-ups, and special events I thought I should attend. I met pro cosplayers like Yaya Han, Ivy Doomkitty (who I just featured a few articles ago), and Nicole Marie Jean. I attended afterparties to bravely worked the room (something that still horrifies me to this day) and was rewarded with meeting my favorite Mythbuster, Grant Imahara! I waited in line to meet Felicia Day, who was so congratulatory about my achievements that she gave me a high five, followed by taking the time to talk about how almond milk was our jam and that cupcakes are the greatest thing ever. On Sunday I went to a panel on how to protect your new business from a legal perspective and after asking a question about my idea for a geek themed Paleo cook book, I got approached by someone who helps new authors put together book proposals. As an added bonus, my year of research into cosplay helped me recognize Monika Lee and Jessica Nigri on the street on Monday so I could meet them too! What was a disaster turned into an amazing weekend of meeting new people, building public knowledge about our growing Slayer community here on Project Reroll, sharing stories, playing ALL THE DEMOS, and celebrating my geek identity. Even though I couldn't premiere my new costume, it still made for a great one year cosplay anniversary.

A year ago I might not have been capable of picking myself up like that and carrying on, let alone making the absolute most of a bad situation. When you work hard at something like weight loss or sticking to a very strict diet, the first time you experience a big failure, it can be extremely derailing. A lot of people give up right there, but in reality, giving up is the only way to fail. If you  make a mistake, you can recover if you just keep working hard afterwards. So be brave (like this amazing little girl who wanted to be like Sokka so much that she shaved the sides of her head to achieve his exact hairstyle for her cosplay. WATER TRIBE.). Don't let disappointments get in the way of the bigger picture. There's always something you can do to make the most of a bad situation. Hell, you might even be able to transform it into an AWESOME situation if you put your mind to it. 

Top 5 Curvy Cosplayers

While I want to support being healthy, I also support the concept of body positivity. I think that taking your health seriously is a personal journey and it's about learning how to embrace who you are at every step along the way, not just the finish line. I don't think being thin makes you who you are. I think taking action to improve your life will show you who you are and that sometimes that can result in becoming a more fit person. 

One of the things that helped me embrace myself and see myself for all the things I could potentially be (rather than all the things I'd never live up to) was cosplay. Becoming Appa made me believe I was confident enough to show off a costume I'd made without feeling like I wasn't able to embody the character. Training to become Rainbow Dash for PAX East taught me that I loved running. Creating my Dragon Age costume has been a celebration of getting my body to a place where I am believable as one of my favorite characters who I find incredibly empowering and badass. Each costume has helped me become more of who I am through taking on elements of other characters that I'm not sure I can live up to!

When I first started cosplaying, I was terrified because of the prevalence of this kind of behavior:

Alexandra Dal

This week, I saw an article about a girl who posted a picture of herself portraying Lara Croft from Tomb Raider on Halloween. It was a character she loved and she went out with her friends on Halloween and took pictures like we all do. She posted the picture to facebook and as the internet is known to do, it got hold of the photo and it went viral with the caption "Fridge Raider." On the surface, even she found it funny, but what the internet did to the image ultimately went from trolls having their fun to viscous bullying and body shaming. People wrote responses telling her to kill herself. They weren't just having a casual giggle. They tore her APART. 

It makes me want to cry because this girl is braver than I will EVER be. She was self assured and she wanted to be Lara Croft. She didn't care that she didn't have "the right" body type (something I still agonize about before each and every costume I make). She went out there and she enjoyed herself. Her reward? Ridicule from a pack of anonymous "dickwolves" who vilified her for having the audacity to go out with her friends and dress up for a night of fun on Halloween. 

Cosplay should be fun for everyone. It's about using your crafting hobbies to express how much you love something. It's not about how hot you are or how many interviews you get (though that stuff certainly has it's place in the "pro-cosplay" world). For most people, cosplay is about being a part of something and finding other people who love that same thing. 

That being said, that article made me want to point you guys in the direction of some ladies who are taking the world of cosplay by storm while rocking their curves and their craftsmanship. I want to celebrate them both for having the confidence I didn't have when I started this journey and for standing out from the crowd with their excellent designs and craft skills. Without further ado, here are my top 5 curvy cosplayers! Hopefully they will inspire you to get your feet wet no matter what size you are!

1. Darkspawnhorror 

She has a bunch of pictures on tumblr of her work, but I came across her "Marian Hawke" cosplay when I was looking for some empowering photos of Dragon Age cosplay to help me get inspired to work on Tallis. She looks like she's having a blast in every photo and what's more, you can see she has an eye for detail. Check out her guantlet and all the leatherwork. With an attitude like that, I just have to believe she must have chosen every snarky remark for her playthrough of DA II. 

2. Ivy Doomkitty

As an L.A. based cosplayer, Ivy rocks her curves in every costume from Star Trek to Elektra. I love her redesign of Dr. Doom. She's rocking the corset to create an amazing silhouette and it's a really creative repurposing of a male character for the female form. She rocks the sexy all the time and is probably more confident in her body than I will ever be! You can like her on Facebook to see more of her work. 

3. Lady Annika "Magneto" Cosplay

What I like about Lady Annika is that she's short and she doesn't necessarily have the hourglass form that some of these other ladies have. Yet, there's something amazing about the creative way she redesigns male costumes for her body. My favorites are her Nightwing and her very recent Walking Deadpool. She makes really awesome armor and the SFX make-up on her Deadpool is great. Go like her on Facebook to check out more of her work. 

4. Becky Young

Becky was on Heroes of Cosplay and while she's not as obviously curvy as some of the other ladies on this list, she admitted to struggling with her weight and being self conscious about looking good in her costumes while on the show. Watching her get cinched into her Merida costume and seeing her tough it out on the treadmill reminded me of all the other struggles that go on in the cosplay world OUTSIDE of simply making the costume. Her Pinkie Pie costume stood out to me long ago, even though I didn't know who she was at the time. She was just so bubbly and fun looking! If anypony is going to have a little meat on them, it would be the one who lives above the cake shop and loves to party! She embodied the character perfectly in every image I've seen. I also love that she is constantly working to improve her craftsmanship and I admire her the most out of all the ladies on that show. She was just the most "real" to me. I hope you'll check out her work on Facebook and give her some support, whether you were a fan of the show or not. 

5. Bellechere

The QUEEN of CURVES is Bellechere. My. God. If you are not following her work on Facebook, then you should be! I would venture to say she's probably the most successful curvaceous cosplayer out there. She is a confident sexy craftswoman who loves taking on superheroes. Her Captain Marvel is epic. Her Power Girl is epic. Everything is flawless and just because she's curvy doesn't mean she's afraid to show her fair share of skin. Check out her Goblin Queen costume if you're wondering what I'm talking about. I adore her. I'm always excited to see what she's going to do next. 

Those are my top five. There are probably more out there that I'm missing and I'd love to hear about them. If you know someone I missed, please feel free to add links to your favorites in the comments!