BronyCon: Adventures in Love, Tolerance, and Community

Hey everypony! I just got back from a long weekend at BronyCon in Baltimare. Above, you'll see a picture of my new pony OC, Lyric Wit. Overall it was a great weekend despite the organization of the actual con leaving a lot to be desired. Even though the programming was a little wonky and there was a lot of confusion between the staff about what was going on when it came to clearing rooms, cancelations, or rescheduling panels, I witnessed a lot of great moments; from bursting spontaneously into songs from the show in huge groups of people, to seeing fans express their love and creativity through original videos, music, and artwork, and even a very moving support group for people who were in the fandom because they really needed the positive messages and lessons that the show espouses. I even participated in a physical training session with some military Bronies. Yes, that's a thing and they are out their in larger numbers than you would ever expect.

My biggest reason for attending is my love of the show. The other reason was the documentary, Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Male Fans of My Little Pony.

My boyfriend and I watched it and completely fell in love with the way the fan community was presented in the film. We had a chance to attend the convention and we wanted to experience it for ourselves, plus it gave us another chance to wear our Rainbow Dash and Soarin cosplays that we debuted at PAX East.

I will say that there was more social awkwardness at this convention than any that I've ever attended in my life. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I'm making an observation. For almost everypony I talked to, it was their first convention ever. I heard some really sad stories from people! A 21 year old college kid told me he asked his friends to come with him and even though they watched the show and enjoyed it a bit AND his dad offered to pay for their trip, they wouldn't go with him. In talking to him I noticed he was a bit shy and awkward, but he was just a sweet person and I couldn't help but feel bad for him and hope that he made some better friends over the weekend. 

Unlike at PAX, when Brandon and I would separate, people did not approach me for conversations or photos. They gave me a wide birth. The only two times somepony did approach me, it went down really bizarrely. The first time was after a really sweet proposal during night one of Bronypalooza. Brandon ran up to the stage to try to get some photos and then this guy next to me leaned over and patted me on the back and said, "You're next. I got a feeling. Don't you worry!" He meant well, but it was a very strange interchange! 

The other time was in the cosplay lounge while I was fixing Brandon's wig. A guy dressed as Octavia came over and started preaching about how we need to be even more tolerant and loving as a community. Then he tried to hand out some cards for his bronyrock friend. I politely said that we only needed one since we were together. His response was, "Will I ever win?" Before thinking I said, "No." ...And then immediately backpedaled and said, "Not with me I mean! But one day! One day you will!" It was just weird because he was hitting on me while I was clearly with someone else. Ugh, I guess that was my Rainbow Dash insensitivity coming out. I... yeah. There were lots of weird moments when interaction did occur. 

As a girl, I was definitely in the minority. I'm not saying their weren't other girls there, but guys tended to travel in big packs and be in constant conversation with each other, showing off their new plushies of their favorite characters or picking out what panels to go to next.

When we asked how other people were reacting to the way the convention was run, they often didn't seem to notice the same issues that we had or they were willing to overlook them because of what attending the con meant to them. Perchance they weren't trying to attend as many panels. Perhaps they didn't have anything to measure the issues against because it was their first con. I have a sneaking suspicion that their experience was overshadowed by the relief of being able to hang out with other dudes who loved the show and network friendships/support groups with them.

I live in New York. Being "different" is the norm. I certainly take some flak from my friends about liking MLP: FiM, but they're pretty accepting because at the end of the day, we're all nerds! Some of these other con-goers are completely isolated in their fandom and that has got to be so hard. I have a group of friends and a boyfriend who love the same things I do and don't judge me too harshly if I introduce a new interest to the list. It's easy to forget that for a lot of these people, this is a very isolated event where they can come out of their shells and feel completely confident in who they are as men.

I've already written about the power of building community and finding your fellowship when it comes to achieving your goals and finding support through life's challenges, but this weekend really reminded me that there are people for whom that very idea is a challenge in itself. Because of it's themes of tolerance, love, and acceptance, these fans open their arms and hearts to anyone. There was a huge cross section of people. Obviously there were kids and their parents, groups of guys from 18-30 (and some even older!), but then there was a huge number who were "on the spectrum" (I met at least two who labeled themselves as having Aspergers), and there were a great many transgender fans milling about as well. It was great to see everyone feeling so comfortable in their skins as they moved through the halls despite how diverse the attendees were. It made me happy to see that all of those groups could get along and have a great time together. One guy at the support group panel told us he had Aspergers and said that although he was having a good time and found it easier to come out of his shell at BronyCon, he did feel like he was an arm's length away from everyone. After the panel a group of five strangers approached him and invited him to lunch with them. I don't know that I would have seen that happen at any other convention. Another guy told us about how he had met a girl at the con and had bucked up enough nerve to ask her out to dinner on Sunday night. "Go get her!" I shouted over the crowd at the panel. "Baby, he's gonna win!" Brandon exclaimed beside me. We didn't know him and yeah, it did seem like maybe this guy was doing that nerdy thing we all do, aka pretending not to put too much pressure on a new dating situation, but we couldn't help but HOPE that he was gonna get out there and make it work! I genuinely wanted the best for this complete stranger and I think that's what sets this con apart from others; the inherent heart.

Mostly this con reminded me how lucky I am that I do have friends in fitness AND in fandom. I hope I never take that for granted because they're the ones who get me through all the challenges this journey has thrown at me. Where do you go for support? Who do you look to for a helping hoof? Tell us about it in the comments!

My Little Pony: Cosplay Is Magic

I've posted a lot of progress pictures for the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Rainbow Dash and Soarin cosplay I created for my boyfriend and me to wear to PAX East and BronyCon this year, but I haven't really put up a ton of pictures of the finished product. This is my second cosplay ever and I learned a lot during the process, including how to embroider and how to use the character I was portraying as inspiration for my workout routine. 

The reason I was holding off on posting photos is that while we were at the con, we managed to do a photo shoot with a professional photographer, Ger Tysk from Chou-wa Photography. My friends Stephanie and Emily had already arranged shoots for their costumes and raved about how fun she was to work with, plus she was only asking $15 dollars per person to do the shoot. When you've spent over 40 hours of work and a fair amount of money on building a costume (and who knows how many hours sweating at the gym to look good in it!), it's natural to want to celebrate the finished product with good photos to commemorate the occasion. This seemed like the perfect way to do it! She was a pleasure to work with and she's currently working on a photobook called Breaking All the Rules: Cosplay and the Art of Self Expression. You should definitely check out her page and see if she's headed to a convention near you!

When I chose Rainbow Dash, I didn't know if I could pull off the costume. I had done Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender at New York Comic Con because he was a giant sky bison and I figured the internet couldn't lampoon me for that choice as an overweight lady. Doing Rainbow Dash, a character who's been done by extremely fit and talented cosplayers like Jessica Nigri amongst others AND is known for being the "jock" character on the show is risky because your body is a part of your success. Sadly, if you can't "embody" the character then it's almost like you didn't make the costume at all. I'm sure there are a lot of people who disagree with that, but I think it holds true (even though I don't like saying it). I do think that first and foremost, cosplay is something you should do for yourself and if something makes you happy, then you should absolutely go for it. Personally, I know that feeling like I can't pull something off makes me more miserable than proud, no matter how hard I worked on a costume. 

When it came to Rainbow Dash, I just knew I loved the character enough to challenge myself all the way to the finish line. I made the choice in October and I had until the end of March to see it through. I had no idea if I'd be satisfied with my physical progress. Despite my fitness improvements, the support of my friends, and my pride in the costuming I'd done, I was even worried while I was getting into the costume and even at times while I was at the convention. That's not to say I didn't enjoy myself. I just have a habit of seeing my flaws. It's one of the things that landed me in this mess with my body in the first place. I'm really hard on myself and I can be cruel to the point of being crippling to my own development as a person and as an athlete.

It wasn't until I saw these pictures that I understood my success. Not only do I feel great about the way I look in them, but I see the fun in my eyes and in the brightness of the costumes. I can feel the love that my boyfriend and I have for these characters and for each other. I see the whole journey. I feel the ache in my legs after a long run, something I never would have done were it not for Rainbow Dash. I see the athlete I didn't think I could live up to. I'm proud that I didn't adjust the costume to my body, but that I worked on my body to fit the character and to better myself. I see myself energized after a week of finally getting all the food I was supposed to as opposed to abusing myself by depriving it. I can say that I feel beautiful when I look at those photos and that I actually believe it- hell, I can say I'm AWESOME and believe it! I know I'm working and I have every intention of continuing this journey for the rest of my life, but I can say that seeing these pictures makes me proud of where I am now.

Some days, that has to be enough. 

So without further ado, here are the pictures of Rainbow Dash and Soarin, shippin' it up at PAX East 2013. 

Look out for us at BronyCon in August because we're going to wear the costumes again! It's kind of nice not worrying about building a whole new costume, but I'm sure if I keep progressing like I have that I'll have to do a little "refitting." Hell, that's a problem I'm ok with having. Next on the docket? Hitting my goal weight and tackling the Xena costume I've always wanted to do.

My Special Somepony!

This past weekend was spent on the final preparations for PAX East. I use costumes and events like this to mark weight loss goals and I'm really excited about this one since not only have I already surpassed my milestone goal of losing 88 lbs, but also because my boyfriend, Brandon, is going to participate in this cosplay event with me. I've been hard at work crafting and sewing our costumes and super anxious to see the whole thing come together. Brandon is leaving for spring break and meeting me in Boston for the convention, so I wanted to make sure he tried everything on in case anything needed to be adjusted.

As an actor, I'm used to assuming roles, playing make believe and transforming myself physically, but this is Brandon's first time cosplaying at a fan convention and I wanted to make sure he was as excited and happy as possible. When he finally put everything on, he just lit up! It was like he walked right out of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and into my living room. He was glowing and grinning from ear to ear. It was truly adorable and not only was I so incredibly proud and happy with my handiwork, but I found it so rewarding to give him the ability to experience one of my favorite aspects of conventions. 

You see, Brandon has really been there for me during this journey. He's dealt with my obsessions over calorie counting, my anxiety over not being able to constantly indulge in comfort food, my plateaus, my gains, and my victories. He's been the one to talk me through a lot of the inner turmoil I've had as my body changed, I saw myself differently, and I began to be treated differently by people out in the world. I think we all need people like that in order to process our changes and find lasting success.

I've read so many blogs and forum posts about couples, family members or close friends wherein one person is trying to get healthy and the other person isn't. Brandon is certainly supportive of my quest and aware of my choices, but I don't expect him to make the same ones in order to make me comfortable. Sometimes the posts I read are positive, but a majority of the time they describe sad tales of sabotage, passive aggression, and constant frustration that ultimate derails the person working on their health or causes them to slow their progress.

While I do believe in accepting that we cannot control every variable around us (i.e. expect other people in our lives to eat what we eat, ban all goodies from the house, workout all the time), I do think we all owe it to ourselves to create an environment that's conducive to our success. If what I'm describing sounds all too familiar, I really urge you to sit down with anyone who is causing this kind of strife and address it. Explain that you don't expect them to go through it step by step the way you are, but that you do expect them not to actively make it harder on you. If they still don't get it, go to that uncomfortable, vulnerable place and tell them WHY it's so important to you that you succeed. If they have any sense of empathy at all, they'll begin to understand how big a deal this is to you. 

The hardest thing to accept is that some people are just toxic. If you go through all of that conflict resolution and the person on the other side of the table remains defensive, negative, or unsympathetic, then you need to accept that he/she is not someone you can be around if you really care about your health. That might be easier said than done, but I truly believe it to be the case. When it comes to the behavior of others, the one thing you CAN control is whether or not you're putting yourself at risk by subjecting yourself their presence. That can make or break your success. We spend every day making choices about our health and this one is just as important. Make sure that everyone around you has your back and your best interests in mind.

I'm certainly glad to have my Special Somepony in my life because I know he's a big part of why I've been so strong throughout this experience and I hope he knows I don't take any of his efforts for granted. Sometimes it's nice to do something that let's the person/people who support you know just how much they mean to you. whether that means making them a bacon cheeseburger even though you can't have one or transforming them into pony from a children's cartoon about friendship and magic.