What a Difference a Year Makes! Huzzah!

Hello slayers! I've finally returned from three weeks of adventures across the pond in England and while it was wonderful and I gave myself a vacation pass to eat what I wanted, it's time to get back to reality, not to mention the gym and the kitchen!

But! Not without a pit stop at ye olde New York Renaissance Faire! This a yearly tradition and last year I was 20 lbs down from my initial weight when I attended. While I was there I really did my best to eat healthy and stuck to fruit and cheese. I didn't really partake in faire treats and all I've dreamed of  is to have a day, now that I'm confident in my ability to return to my plan afterwards, where I could really enjoy some of the things I used to AND, of course, upgrade my faire garb. I've lost 100 lbs and last year, my garb was laced all the way. I'm swimming in it now! 

Like everything, it's important to have a plan. I planned on two meals, since I was staying late to see my best friend Emily (the Harley to my Ivy!), who is performing the role of Maid Marian this year, after the faire was done. I knew off the bat that this would not be a paleo day, but that I didn't want to spend a huge amount of money on random food grazing. I decided I would have two drinks and one desert. I had my eye on the pulled pork BBQ sandwich because that's what I've lusted after since last year, but found once I got there that it just seemed like way too much for me. I was really on the go because I wanted to be able to mosey around and catch all of Emily's scenes, not to mention attend to my garb needs. I ended up choosing a chicken sandwich with lettuce and tomato for lunch. By dinner, I was exhausted and hot and when I looked at the pub menu, the only thing that spoke to me was a caesar salad. Most healthy salad? No. But it wasn't a burger or chicken tenders with fries, so a healthy huzzah was raised! 

For my drinks I had an apple cider and half of the  shire's equivalent of a mocha frappuccino. For my treat, I shared a slice of cheesecake on a stick with my boyfriend. All of it was delicious and I really only ate when I was hungry or needed a refresher. Am I saying it was the healthiest day of my life? No, but I am fascinated that when faced with the ability to eat whatever I wanted, I shared a lot of stuff that was rich and I made better choices than I'd planned for. 

One of the first things I did was spend an exorbitant sum of money on new garb. Just to give you an idea, over the years I've spent about 500+ on building my Ren Faire costume. I budgeted all year for a similar expenditure so that I wouldn't bankrupt myself when the time came. Just like planning for food, I had a plan for garb. Last year, a friend of mine linked me a Son of Sandlar piece called "the huntress." While expensive, it was beautiful and everything I've ever dreamed of when it came to embodying my favorite fantasy archetype, an elf rogue. I played one in WoW and I almost always gravitate towards playing rogues in table top games. As far as my own physicality, I could never pull off a rogue costume before because elves are generally more lithe than I was and certainly at my weight, I wasn't going to look like I belonged on the field of battle. The first time someone told me I had elfin features during this weight loss journey, I squeed. It was time to enter the fray at long last and after a year of saving, I was finally able to put together an elf rogue costume.

I bought some cheap boots ($30 on sale at some hole in the wall shop in Greenwich Village) and I used my pixie top from Moresca. I had that from my old garb and the size didn't really matter because it was just going to go under a bodice. I had a dagger from a previous visit to the fair and my father bought me a dagger in Tintagel on our visit to England. Dual wielding FTW! The skirt was bought at Urban Outfitters when I was trying to lose weight in college. All that I needed to buy at the faire was "the huntress" and some elf ears.

As soon as I got fit for the bodice, I felt amazing! It was a dream come true! It has a hood and beautiful gold lining and it went really well with my woodland elf circlet from my former costume. The quality and craftsmanship are evident and the leather is treated so that it can get wet. I got to test it out because there was some light drizzling this year. I just put up my hood like a BA! Emily, ahem, Maid Marian swung by the booth to celebrate. After lunch, I got my elf ears custom painted for me and before I knew it, I was a living legend! My boyfriend was kind enough to indulge me in a short woodland photoshoot and we captured a few great images so I got to really commemorate the ocassion in an ideal setting (aka, not in front of my mirror at home with a mess strewn about the floor behind me). 

The whole day I walked taller (maybe just in my head because I'm only 5 feet tall in reality...). I was transported by my costuming efforts, and of course by the performances of the talented actors who populate the village of Sterling. I was so proud of Emily for realizing her dream of working at the faire. She was wonderful and I know she is enjoying the hell out of the whole experience. She lights up the shire every weekend, so if you haven't made the journey out to Tuxedo, DO IT NOW. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to perform alongside these fine folks! The sky's the limit.

My life is so different now. It doesn't mean that I can't enjoy some great food from time to time or take a day off from the gym to get to the ren faire for the opening ceremonies, but it means that I tend to make very different choices most of the time and I don't feel like I HAVE to make them. I actively want to. Seeing my fantasies realized made me aware that anything is within my grasp. I never would have thought his transformation would have been possible a year ago. I know that's corny but I didn't know if I'd be able to keep up my restrictive and exhausting health regime. It felt like prison. Now, I really want to make the better choices. Perhaps it's weird to most people who want to look better for their wedding or for work, but the days when I get to live out my fantasies at the faire or show off a cosplay with confidence at a convention are a huge part of why I'm motivated to keep working on this change. I don't care that some people think it's weird as hell or a waste of money and time. It's what makes me happy and if it's what makes me healthy, that's all to the benefit!

So what motivates you, slayers? I'd love to hear about your milestones and the things that keep your head in the game whether it's just being able to fit into your favorite pair of jeans, or making your own set of N7 armor. Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Embrace Your Inner Rogue: Get Paid

Today's post is going to be a bit of a departure from focusing on the physical and nutritional side of weight loss. After all, you're weight and fitness are not the only elements that determine your happiness. There's this sneaky little bastard called "Quality of Life" and I'm finding that it's pretty important too. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been experiencing a lot of stress because it feels like my creative career is going nowhere. I can create things all I want, but if I can't figure out how to monetize my creative endeavors or the skills I use to create them, then how can I expect to pay the bills by doing what I love? Yes, dear readers. It would seem I have a few more stats to reroll on this here quest for greatness.

As actors we're taught to take any job that will have us at the beginning of our careers. Get out there, get the experience, get the exposure, and eventually it will fall into place. Maybe I'm luckier than I give myself credit for, but I have no problem finding unpaid gigs. I've been doing them for years. For every paid acting job I've had, I've probably had eight unpaid full scale productions in which I've been abused by directors, other actors, or frankly, just plain knocked around by an overall unprofessional process. I'm not saying I didn't learn from these experiences or didn't benefit at all, but for the most part, I gained roles to put on my resume and nothing else. That's not without value, but at a certain point, you have to ask yourself if it's worth the time and the energy to commit yourself to unpaid pursuits with guaranteed experience vs. working less, but being able to focus all of your energy on getting those elusive paid opportunities. 

This goes for writing as well. I've been so honored to have so many fellow bloggers ask me to join their staff of unpaid writers/reviewers, but at this point, I don't have have any more time to pour into more unpaid work. I'm organizing the future of Project Reroll so that my amazing community of readers can flourish and share what they've learned on their own health journeys. I already review and discuss geeky topics as an occasional guest-host with my friends on the Anomaly Podcast (which you need to check out if you haven't!). Plus, I am currently managing a very lengthy and involved post production process on a web series that I wrote/produced with a friend. When I turn down these unpaid opportunities, I'm not being snobby. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me not to get paid for any more extra time and effort. My dance card is pretty darn full.

I know I'm not the only artist or entrepreneur going through this struggle, but over the last few days I've realized something surprising. I might be the one who is standing in my way. How am I supposed to receive currency in exchange for goods if I'm afraid to place an actual value on my skills. Obviously, waiting for someone to pay me for things that I've very publicly given away for free is a terrible marketing plan. 

So here's my new goal; It's time to embrace my inner rogue. Would Jayne Cobb work for free? Even Han Solo wanted pay for his fair cut for saving Princess Leia from the Death Star. Bronn might give Tyrion color commentary for free but when it comes to his sword, he's paid to use it in Lannister gold. Well boys, step aside. There's a new rogue for hire in town and her name is Anne!

So how to start on this quest? Like any of the other skills I've "rerolled," I started by creating steps to help me break down my overall goal into more manageable bite sized pieces.

• Step 1: Determine my marketable skills and be prepared to place an actual value on them. For me these would be acting, writing, and creativity/life coaching. I'm going to think very critically about how to turn these skills into marketable business ventures and place actual values on them so that I can charge for my services. When you fear no one will ask you how much you're worth, it doesn't seem worth going to the trouble to price your skills, but if you don't, then you'll be caught with your pants down when someone does! The ensuing frazzlement could lose you the gig... and they may be confused by your lack of pants. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't cut deals for friends or for projects that I really want to do, but then I'll be ready when someone says, well how much do you charge for that? 
• Step 2: Do some research on what you should charge. If you get confused or nervous about what you can ask for when it comes to compensation, look into what your peers are charging and how they've managed to get paid jobs in their fields. For me this will mean looking at people I know with similar experience levels who are getting paid and seeing how I can emulate or even undercut them when it comes to price. This step comes to you directly from my uncanny ability to "win" at the Auction House in every MMO ever. Time to get some real-life bags of gold. Lok'tar Ogar, people.
• Step 3: Be prepared to negotiate and to face conflict. You need to accept the fact that with this new great power to get paid for your work will come more responsibility on your part. If people are actually paying you, they'll have every right to be demanding of your time. You'll have to develop firm hand when it comes to scheduling you're time and dealing with clients. You'll need to come to the table with a strong sense of self and what you do. If you can't face conflict productively or negotiate business deals without collapsing in on yourself like a dying star, then being an entrepreneur isn't for you. You are the CEO, the production line, and customer service rep all in one. You'll get all the praise, all the cash, and all the grief so you have to prepare yourself to deal with all of that. 
  



By Wosukoart on Deviant Art

• Step 4: Update Your Websites/Create a Store. When you embrace your inner goblin and start shamelessly hawking your wares with a hearty, "I got what you need," you'll need somewhere to direct your traffic. For me, that will mean creating a public listing of my services so that I can give someone my business card with a quick pitch and then send them to my website for a more detailed breakdown of what I'm prepared to offer them. This ties in with the first step of figuring out what you can sell, but in this case, you'll also have to think about how you're going to make it the most appealing deal your client can find. 

Clearly I'm at the beginning of this process and I have no business talking like a know-it-all about this stuff, but this is where I am with it right now. I'll post more about this as I move through the steps and hopefully my depression will dissipate as I make a more active effort to handle this stressful issue in my life. I hope my conclusions and my process provide some inspiration if anyone else in a similar conundrum. If you have any advice for me or other readers, please leave it in the comments!