Monday, November 5, 2012

Shopping with Harley Quinn!

Well, not Harley Quinn, but my best friend Emily, who was the Harley Quinn to my Poison Ivy during Halloween 2011. You can see my costume in my "Before Photos." When we were joking about the hilarious Batman episode where Bruce Wayne take them shopping, I never thought I'd end up in one of Gotham's premiere shopping locales just over one year later shopping for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding. I certainly didn't think I'd have lost over 50 lbs. The bride (oddly ALSO named Emily) asked me to sing at the ceremony so I wanted to make sure I looked the part! Her colors are eggplant, sage green, and silver, so I'm really excited that I found this pretty eggplant colored dress so that I won't clash with the wedding party.

We learned many things at Macy's today. Here is a list of lessons from my shopathon and a preview of THE DRESS that I hope will amuse you all. Don't worry, I'll take better pictures at the wedding when I'm completely styled. :)

  1. For two geeky gals who hate shopping, we sure are good at it when we're together. We get in, get the job done, get out, and level up. Then on to the next item on the agenda. 
  2. If something looks bad, do a silly booty shaking jig until both parties convulse with giggles.
  3. If a dress looks like bacon, put it on IMMEDIATELY. You'll hate it, but you'll laugh REALLY hard.
  4. If a dress looks like a delicate purple butterfly, put it on IMMEDIATELY. Cause who doesn't want to be a butterfly?
  5. If a dress is... um. Purple AT ALL. PUT IT ON IMMEDIATELY. CAUSE PURPLE IS FLATTERING ON ME. However, not all dresses that are purple are flattering on me.
  6. Ok, but for realz, now. Apparently I am TOO THIN for the plus size section! Today, after trying on a ton of dresses there, we just could not find anything I wasn't swimming in. Suck it, fat! VICTORY. I am a size 14 for the first time in a really LONG time. Last time I checked my size I was a size 20.
  7. The plus size department is like the neglected dreary attic of any department store. Most people have only heard of it in legend. When you arrive, it's practically abandoned. It's dark, unorganized, and no one wants to help you or look at you. The very air tastes like shame and smells of self loathing. All the dresses have giant weird oversized floral prints and strategically placed swathes of sparkles or beading that are supposed to imply that "there's nothing to see here" when really it just creates a beacon that tells the viewer you're desperate for them to be looking ANYWHERE ELSE THAN AT YOUR FLAWS. Weirdly, you don't realize how awful that department is until you are finally able to escape to the normal section- WHICH WE DID! Victory lap, bitches!
  8. My best friend will tell you she's bad at shopping but she has great taste and always makes me feel like the best possible version of me! So many of my friends have been supportive of my progress, but she's has been there every step of the way to pick me up when its hard and remind me of my accomplishments along the way. Of course, she was there for me BEFORE I started to lose the weight as well. She is my rock and I love her. ♥
Today was also my weigh-in day! I've lost 52 lbs total so I'm feeling pretty good about that. Hopefully I'll be able to to stay on track during the nuptial celebrations next weekend!

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