How to Kick Cravings in the Ass

by Chris Mason

KAPOW! Goodbye cake! PATOW! See ya ice cream!

I might be an ass-kicking super slayer, but I still fall prey to the same vices all of you do! There is nothing worse than choosing to be on a diet and then being rewarded with cravings galore for everything you promised yourself you'd eschew. As much as it sucks, it's inevitable that once you stop feeding your body things it's used to, your brain will start firing signals the you miss that chemical, be it sugar, dairy, or gluten. 

"I'm hungry!" Your brain will shout even though you've just eaten eggs with mushroom, peppers, and ground beef. 

"Ok, what do you want?" I ask it. 

"Ice cream and cake. OH! OH! A donut!" Your brain pleads.

Just no, people. If you are actually hungry, you need to eat real food. This kind of signal from your brain is just a need to keep putting junk in your face hole because you're going into withdrawal from chemicals that it's used to getting. 

Sadly, the only to stop those signals from firing is to do the hard thing and deprive yourself of those chemicals for long enough for your body to stop insisting that it needs them to go about your day to do.  You might want to try a cleanse to get the ball rolling and then start a regular diet plan that leaves out the things you crave the most except on very special occasions. 

My biggest vice is gluten. I'm might not be intolerant, but I'm certainly addicted to bread and sugar. Gluten fires pleasure signals in the brain that are so intense, they can compare to the pleasure signals you get from doing a drug like cocaine. I was doing a great job on avoiding bread products, but after my vacation, I just couldn't stop. It wasn't like I was binging like I used to at my heaviest, but I absolutely couldn't get through the day without at least a serving of bread. 

The biggest issue with ridding yourself of gluten and therefor easy access to carbs, is that your body is trained to use carbs to generate energy primarily and protein secondarily. When you remove carbs from your diet, you get headaches as your body struggles to break its addiction to gluten and you get fatigued because your body isn't used to focusing on protein as a primary source of energy. This generally lasts a few days dependent on how poorly you were eating before you changed your diet. In my experience, things really turn around after day five.

Another thing that's important when it comes to cravings is understanding what you can have and what your body needs. I learned this the hard way. On my Whole30. Usually when you're on a restrictive diet, there's a lot of "no this/no that" or you can only eat this many calories. Whole30 asks for no processed food, no gluten/grains, no dairy, no legumes, and no sweeteners just to make something more yummy. Nothing should be sweet unless it's naturally so on it's own. It's basically a stricter form of Paleo meant to cleanse the body of toxins for a month. Well I sort of adjusted my Whole30 starting out. I decided to severely limit fruit because I was trying to kick my sugar addiction and that became eating no fruit. I also didn't realize that the body needs sodium to survive so I didn't add any to anything I made for 5 days thinking that low sodium was good, so no sodium was probably better, right?

WRONG.

First of all, I got sick in the first few days like I was describing before. I attributed my dizziness to my body going through the withdrawal and energy redirection process. Turns out it just couldn't function because my blood sugar dropped down as did my sodium. After five days of the diet, I got to work on Friday and after about 30-40 minutes of standing and doing physical work activities where I couldn't sit down every 20 minutes or so, I fainted. So yeah. I should have done a little more research and realized that there's a reason the things I'm not supposed to eat are on the don't eat list and the things I AM supposed to eat are on the EAT THEM NOW OR ELSE YOU DIE list. My cravings for sugar during the fatigue phase probably wouldn't have been as bad if I hadn't forgone fruit after the first day and I probably wouldn't have had that incident at work. When you start on a plan or a cleanse, make sure you are following it to the letter. The people who developed it did so in a specific way because they understand the science of how it's supposed to work. 

I'm only 8 days into my Whole30, but I can tell you right now that not only is my overwhelming craving for bread and sugar gone, but my appetite is just less overwhelming overall. I definitely get hungry but I don't need to eat as much to feel full. 

The last tip I have is misdirection. If you're having a craving, it's always best to do something rather than doing nothing. If you just let it sink in with you without acting, it might get the better of you eventually. If you can distract yourself by doing something else, it can sometimes trick the brain into being satisfied because you acted to prevent the temptation from taking hold. For instance, you could go for a 20 minute walk. You could play with a pet. You could drink a big glass of water. You could eat some fruit. You could even play a video game. Do anything that's mentally or physically active that requires that part of the brain that was just yowling at you to give it what it wants to get a life and do something productive with itself. 

How do you handle your cravings? Do you give in and get it out of your system or do you have other things you do to get past the dancing candy unicorns dancing in your brain? Please share any tips you have with your fellow Slayers in the comments!

How to Tell Your Friends They're Fat

Short answer: You don't. 

At the beginning of this journey, people wanted to know a lot about how I was going about losing weight and sticking to it. What was I eating? What were my fitness goals? Later on, questions started pouring in about how I felt in my new body. Was it different? Did I have more energy? However, following the publication of my "success" story on Nerd Fitness, there's been a huge upswing in questions from people who want to know how to approach their friends about their weight issues and get them to change. 

It wasn't someone telling me to lose weight that caused me to take up arms and accept the mission. In fact, for years people told me to do something about my health and the more they insisted, the more I dug in my heals. To be told by someone you trust and love implicitly that you are less than acceptable in their eyes can be extremely hurtful, and what's more, that particular "f-word" can sting forever. I still remember every time that someone used it in regard to me whether it was out of the desperation of love or as a jibe. It hurts just the same either way and you can guarantee that when that person gets ready to face their demons, they are not going to come to you for empathy, guidance, and support. 

When a doctor or a parent told me I was overweight to the point where it would affect my health significantly, aside from the very first time when I was elementary school and I wouldn't have realized otherwise, I always wanted to ask them if they thought I didn't know that. 

I look in the mirror every morning. I can see that I'm fat. It's old news. Telling me isn't going to make me have some huge revelation that I haven't had already. Seeing photos of yourself where you've significantly gained weight since the last time you saw yourself in a picture or attempting to do something you could always do physically and then finding out you're unable to do it anymore- those are the things that will make you hit rock bottom and realize that you need to change for yourself and not for anyone else. I feel like I can pretty much guarantee you that the impetus to lose weight and keep it off never came from someone telling someone else they were fat. Truly finding redemption for your body through health and fitness isn't about anyone else but you. 

That's why it can be hard when we watch the people we love going down roads we know are toxic for them. At the end of the day, you can't want it enough for them. They have to want it themselves. So how can we help them along the way?

Let's look at some successful redemption tales, shall we?

Xena doesn't decide to change her ways because someone tells her she's an evil warlord. When they do that, she laughs in their face and slaughters their entire village. She eventually changes because of the people in her life. Hercules and Gabriel see her for her potential as a whole person and not just a force of destruction.

In Buffy, Spike doesn't change his ways because of a chip in his head. That limits his behavior, but it's Buffy's presence in his life that causes him to want redemption- to chase after his lost soul. 

In Star Trek: Deep Space 9, Quark slowly changes his smarmy cheating Ferengi ways because he's deeply affected by the people living around him on the station. Without them, he wouldn't ever start sticking his neck out for people or making selfless acts.

These characters change because people in their lives set an example for them to follow that they admire.

So what do you do to be that example for your friends so they can morph into the rerolled heroes they were meant to be? 

You can love them for who they are right now, inside and out. Tell them that you do, because more than likely, they berate themselves and think they're worthless because of the place they've let themselves get to without doing anything. Tell them they matter to you. Make them feel good about themselves. If they feel good, then they'll think they're worth fighting for. 

You can "be the change you want to see in the world," as Ghandi said. Tackle your own health and addictions. Sometimes seeing someone else succeed is what will inspire someone to take charge of their own problems. 

You can educate yourself on nutrition and fitness so that when they are ready to ask questions, you have answers.

You can empathize with them and make them feel validated when they open up to you about their emotions, health related or not. That way, when they are ready to expose themselves and do the work to get healthy, they'll feel like you've created a safe harbor for them to express their trials and tribulations. They're going to need a fellowship to get that ring to Mordor and you could be a part of it. 

I'm certainly not an expert and I don't have all the answers. I just know how I've been affected by these kinds of confrontations and more importantly, how I'd like to be treated. So how 'bout it? If you have any related questions, advice, or experiences you'd like to share, please leave them in the comments. 

Bend, Don't Break

Hi, my name is Anne, and I've been on a food bender for the last week.

Pizza.

Burgers.

Ice cream.

Sandwiches.

Breakfast pastries.

Cupcakes.

Chai Lattes.

I gave myself a pass because I thought I could just get the urge to emotionally binge out of my system- sorta like forcing a kid to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes after you catch them sneaking one.

Thus, I gave myself a week long "foodcation" to have all the things I have missed. On this, the eve of my return to better health, let me tell you what I've learned. 

I can't wait to eat REAL food again.

Seriously.

Fries? I remember them being a lot better than they are. Pizza makes my belly feel heavy and uncomfortably bloated. Sandwiches are great, but I would rather have half than whole. The bread fills me up too fast. It's really what's INSIDE the sandwich that provides the flavor. Next time I'll just eat some turkey. Breakfast pastries are nice, but I've realized they're only worth the calories when they're fresh so it's worth saving them for treats and seeking out really great bakeries on those occassions. Cupcakes are amazing, but simpler and smaller is better. Again, gourmet is the way to go when you get the chance. After a while things stop tasting interesting and everything is just a wash of bread and sugar. 

I've been sluggish. I eat this crap and get the urge to sleep immediately afterwards. I'm writing this blog at 11:24PM because I ate an apple, brie, cranberry, and honey sandwich that caused me to fall asleep while binge watching Arrested Development at 5PM! I never felt that randomly exhausted after a proper meal. This whole week, it has felt like my brain was rebelling against me- like it was repeatedly pressing the snooze button. Giving tours when your mind is ten steps behind you is torture.

When I touch my stomach, it feels BRUISED from being filled with food that doesn't digest easily over the last week.

I also noticed that during this "free period," never did I ever once desire/consume alcohol. 

Lastly, I discovered that working out after filling your body with crap is WAY harder than working out after priming your body with a protein rich breakfast of whole foods. Eating shitty food does not make you want to work out. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy of laziness. You eat stuff you shouldn't and then to make matters worse, it doesn't even put you in the frame of mind where you WANT to work out. How lame is that?

Also, just so you guys know: Food does not make you feel any better about your shitty life. SHOCKER. Even after eating ice cream, you're just sad and filled with dairy and sugar. It changes nothing except that it makes you feel even worse for putting crap in your body on top of everything else. 

So will I never crave any of this stuff again? Of course I will. However, I feel like I successfully proved to myself how much my palette has changed. These cravings are completely mental now because I know what I really want, how this food makes me feel, and how I'd prefer to fuel my body. Did this set me back weight loss wise? Sure, but this was temporary and the small amount of weight I gained will drop away when I get back to my routine. 

Knowledge wise, I feel like this was a right of passage I really needed. It's amazing to feel how much my body is rejecting my old habits and craving the return to my new ones. The key to this whole experiment was to bend for one week so I wouldn't break. I was feeling like I could never have any of that stuff ever again. I was afraid of food and afraid of treats. I felt like I was limiting myself too much and I wondered how I'd ever be able to adjust to Paleo/Primal if I was constantly craving bread and cheese. My emotional stress was driving me crazy and I wanted to eat all the things. Rather than just throw up my hands and give up, essentially breaking and causing MAJOR damage to my body and my psyche, I decided to make a plan with calculated risks so I could get a sense of how hard it would be to really give up all of the foods that going Primal is going to cut out of my life.

Note: I never would have have done this had I not known that I'd have no problem getting back into the swing of things, so I'm not recommending this course of action for anyone who just started a diet and really wants an order of cheese fries. I've been working at this for almost a year now and I know I have no problem returning to my health plan. This is not me telling you, "Sure, live a little and cheat on your diet when you feel like it." If you adopt that excuse, you'll completely sabotage all your hard work. However, if you're on a diet and you've been doing everything right for an extended amount of time and that desire for a burger has been dogging you every day for a month to the point where it's driving you crazy, maybe it's time to get in a good workout, eat a nice salad for lunch and then treat yourself to the best burger you can find so you can get the craving out of your system and refocus your attention on healthier stuff afterwards. Sometimes we have to bend a little so that we don't break and destroy everything we've worked for. 

No matter what, this whole "health thing" is all about what you want to do. It all comes down to your choice. So whatever you decide, own it and learn from it.

Salad: It's a Trap

So you're out for lunch, you're on a diet, and look at the salads on the menu. You order one. You win the game right? 

WRONG. 

Granted, your heart was in the right place, but you fell into a trap all the same. A lot of salads include things like dried fruit, croutons, cheese, avocado, and even bacon. Those can be full of sugar, fat, carbs, and calories. If you eat them in the wrong portions, you can be severely crippling the effectiveness of your diet. You'd be shocked to find out how many calories and how much fat can be loaded into just two tablespoons of salad dressing! To make matters worse, in most restaurants, they use WAY more salad dressing than a standard serving.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, let's take the Signature Salad from Cosi. On their menu, this is described as: 

Mixed greens tossed with red grapes, pears, pistachios, dried cranberries and Gorgonzola. Tossed with sherry shallot vinaigrette. 

I used to order this ALL the time as a healthy meal. Usually I'd do the half soup/half salad deal at Cosi and pair it with their tomato basil soup. It was absolutely delicious and I thought I was making a great choice as far as nutrition. 

So what's the calorie tally? The soup is 216 calories and the salad packs a WHOPPING 647 calories. Together, that meal is 863 calories. When I added it all up, that figure shocked the hell out of me! To give you an idea, my breakfasts and lunches tend to be around 200 calories each and my dinners are about 350. Do the math. I regularly eat my THREE MEALS of the day for less calories than are in that Cosi meal. For those of you keeping score at home, I also have a morning and afternoon snack and a desert worth approximately ~160 calories. All together I eat between 1200-1300 calories a day on my diet, just to give you some perspective.

Other "salads" that are far from healthy include Taco salad, Cobb salad, and yes, even Caesar salad. 

How can you avoid this? Stop assuming that salads are inherently healthy. Start looking into your favorite salad ingredients and find out how much fat they have, how many calories- find out how they fuel your body! Some calories are better for you than others, after all. Then start using the ingredients that give you the most benefits, the best taste, and the least detrimental calorie counts. 

For example, before I knew better, when I went to the deli for a tossed salad, I would choose feta cheese as one of my ingredients. Then I looked at what a serving of feta cheese is and at its nutritional value. Suffice to say, one of those deli salads uses WAY more than a serving and "that shit ain't cheap" calorie wise. Now instead of ordering cheese, I order another veggie or a double serving of a veggie I've already included. Another trap CAN be corn as it's actually a carbohydrate, however, if I choose veggies likes carrots, cucumber, or peppers for the other ingredients, a serving of corn is totally fine with me. 

When it comes to the meat, I always go with chicken. It's lean and it tastes great with almost any dressing. 

Even if you make all of those choices well, the devil is in the dressing. I've seen balsamic vinaigrette for anything from 20-120 calories per 2 tablespoons. Salad dressing is an INSANE place to spend that many calories. Everyone has different tastes and some diet dressings are way better than others. Experiment at the grocery store and find what works for you. Personally, I go with a low fat, low sugar raspberry vinaigrette thats 30 calories/serving. I measure it out every time. If you order at a restaurant, make sure you get the dressing on the side. If you're used to measuring, you'll be able to visually gauge what a serving is. Otherwise you could easily consume over 200 calories of dressing without even realizing you're doing any damage. When eating out, I go with a low fat vinaigrette or just simple oil and vinegar. 

No matter what the food, it's always best to make it at home if you can. Salads are no exception. You have way more control and you can properly measure out the right serving sizes. Plus, you can be sure to have all the ingredients you love and not be shocked to find the deli is out of carrots or low fat dressing. Spend a little extra time to be prepared and you'll set yourself up for success by minimizing curve balls!