Engage!

One of the fitness tips I really struggle to accept is "Focus on one goal at a time." Sure, it makes perfect sense: if we have a limited amount of willpower, focusing on changing one small habit before you move to the next is wise, right? Aye aye, Captain Tightpants!

Shiny.

But no matter how logical this is, I haven't figured out how to do it yet. I want to adopt a cleaner diet. I want to get stronger. I want to get faster. I want to learn all sorts of new things that are outside my comfort zone. And on top of all of that, I also want to help others accomplish similar goals, too.

10-4, good buddy!

Slow down there, Bandit! This isn't a mad dash across state lines in a Trans-Am (sadly). Unfortunately, I've been having trouble prioritizing lately. I'm trying to increase my performance at CrossFit (including working towards my first pull up); I want to add krav maga, kung fu, yoga, and parkour classes back into my schedule; I want to get even a little better at both distance running and sprinting; I want to start attending a CrossFit "box" in addition to working out in my garage; I want to do more outdoor activities; I want to pursue coaching certifications and experiences; I want to continue learning how to autocross like the Stig; I want to learn Morse code, Ham radio, and how to tie sailing knots . . . and there are two jobs to go to, house projects to do, trips to plan, meals to cook, adventures to be had, and oh yeah, eight hours of sleep to catch each night. I'm exhausted just thinking about it, and I can guarantee you that I'm not any closer to 90% of these things now than I was last week. It kind of makes me want to check out and not attempt, well, anything.

Some say he read A Storm of Swords in forty minutes and didn't bat an eye at chapter 51.

I don't have an answer on how to balance all that crazy yet. I'm not even ready to say "_____ is my one priority right now, and I'll move on to ________ after that." (I'd tell you that my one priority is to be less stressed, but figuring out how to de-stress is stressful.) I'll try to work on prioritizing and focusing my scattered goals for next week's post. Hopefully.

Until then, I'd love to engage with the Project Reroll community a little bit and hear your stories. Maybe we can inspire each other! I'm new to PR, so, tell me about yourselves. :)

Engage!!

If you want to share your life story, let's hear it! Otherwise, if you don't have the time to write a memoir, I'd love to hear your answers to a few of the following questions . . . (I swear #4&5 aren't me selfishly looking for new suggestions!)

1. What brought you here? How did you find Anne's amazing story?
2. Who aren't you? What are you overcoming? What are you leaving in your past to become the new you?
3. What's your current goal? Cleaner diet? Paying down debt? Strength training? Planning a trip? All of the above?!
4. What are some of your favorite, motivating songs when you're running/driving/waking up on Mondays?
5. What's your (current or all-time) favorite video game or novel?

Here, I'll go first:

1. I found Anne through her interview on Nerd Fitness. She replied to one of my comments about trying the "Zombies, Run!" app, and was super awesome, so I came over to the blog and started devouring the archives. :)
2. I really struggle with believing in myself. As I work on that, I'm slowly leaving behind the timid, overly cautious girl in my past and becoming stronger and more confident.
3. Yes. All of the above, and so much more! I swear I'll pick just one. Maybe. I hope.
4. Titanium (David Guetta ft. Sia) always gets me to run faster; I just discovered Hall of Fame (The Script ft. Will.i.am) from a suggestion on PaleOMG and am digging it; We Own It (2 Chainz ft. Wiz Khalifa) rocked the intro of Fast 6 and makes me want to go out and be a badass. BONUS: They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!! sort of makes me want to run, too, even though I'm with Gimli on the whole distance running thing.
5. I'm currently loving my first taste of the Lara Croft empire with Tomb Raider Reborn. I'm told I should try Uncharted, but I have no PS3. (I'll save my immense archive of favorite reading material for later!)

Your turn! Let's hear your stories below. Make it so!

-Simone

How to Tell Your Friends They're Fat

Short answer: You don't. 

At the beginning of this journey, people wanted to know a lot about how I was going about losing weight and sticking to it. What was I eating? What were my fitness goals? Later on, questions started pouring in about how I felt in my new body. Was it different? Did I have more energy? However, following the publication of my "success" story on Nerd Fitness, there's been a huge upswing in questions from people who want to know how to approach their friends about their weight issues and get them to change. 

It wasn't someone telling me to lose weight that caused me to take up arms and accept the mission. In fact, for years people told me to do something about my health and the more they insisted, the more I dug in my heals. To be told by someone you trust and love implicitly that you are less than acceptable in their eyes can be extremely hurtful, and what's more, that particular "f-word" can sting forever. I still remember every time that someone used it in regard to me whether it was out of the desperation of love or as a jibe. It hurts just the same either way and you can guarantee that when that person gets ready to face their demons, they are not going to come to you for empathy, guidance, and support. 

When a doctor or a parent told me I was overweight to the point where it would affect my health significantly, aside from the very first time when I was elementary school and I wouldn't have realized otherwise, I always wanted to ask them if they thought I didn't know that. 

I look in the mirror every morning. I can see that I'm fat. It's old news. Telling me isn't going to make me have some huge revelation that I haven't had already. Seeing photos of yourself where you've significantly gained weight since the last time you saw yourself in a picture or attempting to do something you could always do physically and then finding out you're unable to do it anymore- those are the things that will make you hit rock bottom and realize that you need to change for yourself and not for anyone else. I feel like I can pretty much guarantee you that the impetus to lose weight and keep it off never came from someone telling someone else they were fat. Truly finding redemption for your body through health and fitness isn't about anyone else but you. 

That's why it can be hard when we watch the people we love going down roads we know are toxic for them. At the end of the day, you can't want it enough for them. They have to want it themselves. So how can we help them along the way?

Let's look at some successful redemption tales, shall we?

Xena doesn't decide to change her ways because someone tells her she's an evil warlord. When they do that, she laughs in their face and slaughters their entire village. She eventually changes because of the people in her life. Hercules and Gabriel see her for her potential as a whole person and not just a force of destruction.

In Buffy, Spike doesn't change his ways because of a chip in his head. That limits his behavior, but it's Buffy's presence in his life that causes him to want redemption- to chase after his lost soul. 

In Star Trek: Deep Space 9, Quark slowly changes his smarmy cheating Ferengi ways because he's deeply affected by the people living around him on the station. Without them, he wouldn't ever start sticking his neck out for people or making selfless acts.

These characters change because people in their lives set an example for them to follow that they admire.

So what do you do to be that example for your friends so they can morph into the rerolled heroes they were meant to be? 

You can love them for who they are right now, inside and out. Tell them that you do, because more than likely, they berate themselves and think they're worthless because of the place they've let themselves get to without doing anything. Tell them they matter to you. Make them feel good about themselves. If they feel good, then they'll think they're worth fighting for. 

You can "be the change you want to see in the world," as Ghandi said. Tackle your own health and addictions. Sometimes seeing someone else succeed is what will inspire someone to take charge of their own problems. 

You can educate yourself on nutrition and fitness so that when they are ready to ask questions, you have answers.

You can empathize with them and make them feel validated when they open up to you about their emotions, health related or not. That way, when they are ready to expose themselves and do the work to get healthy, they'll feel like you've created a safe harbor for them to express their trials and tribulations. They're going to need a fellowship to get that ring to Mordor and you could be a part of it. 

I'm certainly not an expert and I don't have all the answers. I just know how I've been affected by these kinds of confrontations and more importantly, how I'd like to be treated. So how 'bout it? If you have any related questions, advice, or experiences you'd like to share, please leave them in the comments. 

L2 Boldy Go, Noob

I've been in a really dark place lately. Crazy mood swings, battling severe sweets cravings, not making much progress with my workouts (still doing them!), missing my boyfriend (I know... how emo can I get?), wondering what I'm doing with my life, freaking out over my lack of acting career- you get the picture. It's like walking through molasses... but without being able to eat any of it. Bummer.

My friends very sweetly remind me that I've made some huge strides in my life during the past year. Health wise, I can't deny that it's like I'm a different person. That's just one aspect of my life though and I just feel like a directionless fool most of the time. I try to follow my passions and honor what I love in life, but as far as monetizing my skill sets, I feel like I'm reaching a glass ceiling. What was all my book learnin' even for? If I get healthy, great... but if there's still a mediocre life waiting for me once I get to my goal weight and start maintaining, how the hell am I supposed to stay motivated to be the best me I can be?

This kind of thinking is circular and while I know it does happen to us all from time to time, it's important not to let it take over because it's not productive. I have to stop it before it stops me.

What does all this have to do with Star Trek? The only thing that has successfully helped me decompress is watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with a big mug of Chai tea. Every time the intro played, I thought about words issued by the rich voice of Sir Patrick Stewart.

"To explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life; to boldly go where no man has gone before." Star Trek encourages us to celebrate the spirit of exploration, regardless of the results. After listening to those words over and over, I realized that I should be focusing on what I can do to make my life better rather than all the things that are holding me back or seem to be going wrong. After all, without that will to "go boldly," there won't be any results to speak of. Ergo, the answer to my depressed malaise must be to inject my days with a reinvigorated zest for trying new things.

Research into my upcoming shift to eating/living Primal has certainly given me something new to focus on and has renewed my excitement about what I'm eating/cooking. I've been making huge salads lately and making the shift away from low fat dressings to using avocado or even guacamole. It's amazing how tasty that is. TRY IT IMMEDIATELY!

When I went home, I made it my goal to get in all my workouts to prove that even on vacation, I can make time for my health. I also tried to get my family out on walks and as active as possible. My parents are participating in the walk to Mordor, but they're way behind on our goal to finish by the end of the year so I figured this might encourage them to see what a little extra time spent on simple activity could do for their Fitbit statistics. We did tons of walks both in Chicago and in Michigan and we even took our dogs on a few of them, which was fun.

While away, I realized that breaking up my routine is actually a great thing for stress relief. My mood was vastly improved by taking runs through areas I wasn't familiar with. Maybe my run times weren't as good but it was a nice way to experience the environment and feel a revitalized sense of fun in my workouts. I'm getting that in spades right now because I'm house sitting for my friends who live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan right near Riverside Park while they're abroad in Japan . I'll be here for the next few weeks and the park has gotten me really pumped for my runs, though it's certainly more hilly than I'm used to. However, this halfling does have to be a bit wary as I run past Isengard. There be ORCSES in them thar hills!

I'm also taking care of their kitties, Vivi and Eiko. Despite feeling a little isolated right now  , it's been really fun to have those two around for cuddles, playtime, and light one sided conversation (they're good listeners. DON'T JUDGE ME!). Sadly I don't think there are kittens or puppies in my future at home because of the expense and my inability to keep a steady schedule, but at least for now I have these two cuties to keep me company. It definitely breaks up the tedium of a boring evening alone after an exhausting day of work.

To top it all off, I had a chance to hang with some fellow Nerd Fitness rebels today! I met up with one of them earlier in the day and we enjoyed the near perfect weather as we strolled through Central Park. We even discovered there was a celebration called "Japan Day" going on with tons of cosplayers, traditional entertainment, and free food. Later, we met up up with two more forum members at Brooklyn Boulders to do some rock climbing! I had no idea this place even existed and it as soon as we walked in, it just felt like a giant playground for adults. 

I was really nervous because every time I've tried rock climbing, I've made it a few feet into the air and just hung there in terror until my forearms gave out under the immense stress of my weight. I was sort of nervous the same thing would happen this time and I'd become the red-headed step child of the trendy fit kids club. I knew my new comrades wouldn't really judge me, but I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to criticism and shame spirals (if you hadn't noticed!).

Instead this happened.

When will I learn not to sell myself short? Apparently never.

Tomorrow a bunch of us rebels are meeting up with even more forum members and forming our own "away team" for a day of New York sightseeing and exploration! I'm looking forward to wracking up the miles on my Fitbit, making new friends, and putting my non-deficit day to good use when we settle in for some good vittles! Of course, I have to earn the right to "play" by paying the price in the morning with a four mile Zombies, Run session.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I know I haven't fixed all of the things that are leaving this dark cloud over my head. They're still present, but I'm not letting them stop me from seeing the potential that the world has to offer me. I'm still boldly going where no Anne has gone before and I don't intend to stop any time soon.

...See what I did there?