Fus-Ro-DO IT!

FUS-RO-DAH!!

Alright, guys. I need to share a story with you: I think I've discovered my new fitness-related "pet peeve."

In addition to my full time day job, I work part time as a cashier at an outdoor retailer, selling gear for camping, hiking, snowsports, climbing, etc. One day, a woman came through the line to buy a hydration belt for running. I'm not an experienced runner, so I asked how she liked using the belt over other options. We chatted about staying hydrated and how she was taking up running to try to get in better shape.

"I should probably start running myself," I said. "I do some CrossFit out of my garage twice a week, but I just signed up for the Tough Mudder, and I could really use the extra running practice!"

"I've heard of CrossFit!" she replied. "It looks like so much fun, but I need to get in better shape first."

I was crushed.

I tried to explain to her as I finished ringing her up that no, she didn't! I had 20+ years of athletic inability, excuses, and fear under my belt when I started doing CrossFit with friends in my garage -- we all start somewhere. But there was a line building up at the register, and though she smiled, I could see that she remained unconvinced by my plea as she left the store.

This happened nearly a year ago, and it's still with me today.

Guys, I was a timid and shy teenager. I picked dandelions on the soccer field and quit swim lessons when I got old enough to become self-conscious about my body. (Thank you, puberty.) I'm frequently anxious or at least quiet in public and I hate drawing attention to myself. Crowded places full of social interaction and loud people are just about the last place I want to be. I'm truly an introverted homebody at heart. Yet my intense group fitness classes are the highlight of my week, and have changed my life for the better in countless, immeasurable ways.

That timid girl I just described? Yeah, she walked into a kung fu studio at 16 with no prior martial arts experience, no strength, no coordination, and a huge, heaping dose of fear. Nearly 8 years later, the people at that studio have become my family, and I've accidentally turned into someone who prioritizes health, enjoys physical activity, and runs the Tough Mudder for fun. It's a far cry from the only child who hated sports, and it never would have happened if I'd told myself my only option was running on the dingy treadmill in the basement. (Ugh!)

Last spring I found myself in a similar situation, trying out parkour classes at our local YMCA with a group of those same kung fu friends. Um, let me tell you how much I am not a natural at running and jumping and being generally acrobatic. I am nearly paralyzed by my fear of falling -- even if it's only a 5-inch fall from a balance beam to the soft gymnastics mat on the ground, I'm terrified. But hey. I was with my friends, a great teacher, and surrounded by soft padding. So, I went out and tried it, and I had a blast!

Another friend of ours mentioned that it sounded like fun and asked if he could come along some weekend -- "But I should really get in better shape first." No! Come along and DO IT!

Look, I know how it is. Some of us legitimately prefer working out on our own, whether it's the solitude of a long run, rocking it to a workout video in your living room, or zoning out in the weight room. But so many of us avoid the gym or group classes not because we're not interested, but because we're afraid or embarrassed and don't want to stand out as beginners -- and while I fully understand that, it breaks my heart. I was just like that too (and I'm still not a fan of going to a gym!). I'm a terrible runner, gasping away after moments on the treadmill while Perfect Hair in her sexy workout clothes on the treadmill next to me goes for miles without the bright red face or death-rattle-breathing I display.

So what did I do? I stopped running on the treadmill at my university gym.

Instead, I found something that suited me much better: a small, supportive environment with folks who helped coach me through weight training, gymnastics, and functional movements in a more private setting. I couldn't do a pull-up. I'd never done a deadlift or a proper squat before. We all start at the beginning. And sometimes we progress very slowly. I'm still juuuust shy of a strict pull up -- and that's okay. We each learn and progress at our own pace.

Here's my point: If you enjoy running on a treadmill or working out to DVDs in your living room, rock on. That is awesome, and I mean it! But if you hate it, and you're just doing it because you "need to exercise," and there's something out there that's more appealing to you -- don't avoid it just because it seems challenging. There are modifications for everything that you can adapt when you're just starting out. And if you want to improve your health, you might as well be doing something you enjoy. Right? You don't have to punish yourself for hours on the treadmill before you give yoga a try, or sign up for that spin class, or walk into that CrossFit gym. Zumba sound like a blast to you? (It is!) Girl/guy, get in there. Want to try fencing? Go find a class right now. En garde!

There are no "prerequisites" for fun physical activity except a willingness to learn, a priority on safety/proper technique, and the patience to progress at your own pace. I think you'll find that your fellow zumba goers and fencing enthusiasts are going to be excited and supportive when it comes to sharing their passion with you.

What it comes down to is that there are a lot of different ways to be active out there. Don't suffer through something you hate because you think you're "supposed to." Ultimately, if your goal is to be healthy, fitness and physical activity will need to be a part of your life. Make it a part that you enjoy and look forward to!

What are your favorite ways to be active? What new thing have you always wanted to try? Get out there, Slayers! Show 'em how it's done!

-Simone

Even the Dragonborn starts at level 1!

Some: Learning The Art of Moderation

I have a really hard time with moderation. I get addicted to awesome things really easily. Sue me. It's been an issue my entire life. I lived and breathed Star Wars and musical theater growing up. I was so obsessed with that stuff that I probably wouldn't have had time to be obsessed with video games too. I was too busy creating "dream" ballets to John William's score followed by nightly sing alongs to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Eventually, I did manage to get addicted to video games. MMO's were my biggest weakness- the sense of achievement, the teamwork, the far flung adventures in awe inspiring landscapes filled with rich lore- it was an absolute siren song sung in pixels. They made it easy to escape into an imaginary world where my daring heroics and skill in combat melted my real problems into nothing.

Well, that was the case as long as I stayed logged in. Once I logged out, I had to face a very different reality- one in which I was extremely sedentary and uncomfortably overweight with an appallingly low self image.

One of the biggest factors in my quest for better health was that when I first started my diet/work out regimen, I completely eliminated video games because I know that once I start, I don't stop and I didn't want to let their "derailing" quality keep me from making good on my promise to myself to adopt new habits.

About three or four months into my journey, Guild Wars 2 came out and all my friends were rabidly devouring its content. I decided that given my good behavior, I would buy it and give it a try. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but playing this game was the first time that something felt off. I just couldn't get into the same flow I used to hit. The achievements and leveling were nice, but not as satisfying as they once were. After a few months, I completely lost interest.

Then along came my beautiful new desktop computer and my gal bladder surgery. Finally, I had an excuse to sit down and sink my teeth into Skyrim. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful game with a huge amount of scope, but I found I could only play for a few hours before I just had to step away. I never used to get that feeling. I used to have to tear myself away from the screen.

The more active and healthy I got, the less I could stomach just sitting still in front of the computer for hours on end. In a way, I shouldn't complain because it's probably a good thing that I don't feel able to "binge-game" anymore. However, this issue has escalated to a new level.

I think I'm developing an odd aversion to playing video games at all.

Photo credit: http://www.dontgiveaeff.com

It hit me around the time I went to PAX East this past year. I realized that I barely knew about or had any interest in any of the games on the show floor. I used to be in the know about all the new releases and always had my eye on the next game I wanted to try. This year, there were only one or two games I even remotely cared about.

On that same trip, my friend Kenny mentioned that he was really happy for me when it came to my success with weight loss but that he missed gaming with me. It made me really think about the last time I'd played a video game. Part of me felt like my very geekitude was being brought into question and I was sort of offended, but there was truth in what he'd said. I'd played Castle Crashers with my boyfriend and I'd watched him play through Spec Ops and a few other things, but I hadn't been in control of an immersive gaming experience in almost six months at that point. I hadn't even played through some of the downloadable content for some of my favorite titles.

No problem, I thought to myself. I'll pick up Skyrim again when I get home.

Only I didn't.  

Believe me, I tried. I've literally sat down at my computer ready for a gaming bender with my mouse poised over the program launcher, but I'll find any reason not to select it. 

I have to work on cosplay.

I have to do my cooking for the week.

I have to clean my room.

I have to write my blog.

I have to check my social media sites.

I have to make notes on my web series.

I have to feed my cat (I don't have a cat, but damn it, I'll make that excuse anyways). 

While I was making these excuses, my Blizzard account got hacked and stollen and I still haven't gotten it back. I don't want to lose it. I feel protective of my countless World of Warcraft toons, 60,000 gold,  and my Diablo III Monk, but something is keeping me from going after the crooks who took it. I might think panda monks are lame, but I still want the opportunity to play one if I want! 

Recently, I adopted a Primal diet- something I'd resisted forever and a day because I just didn't understand how not calorie counting and using your "best judgement" to limit your intake of grains, dairy, and legumes (which are completely prohibited by the Paleo diet) could ever work. I googled it a billion times to see exactly how much of those items were allowed. Everything just said "some." I asked people who followed a Primal lifestyle, "How much is some?"

"However much you feel is appropriate for you," They'd respond. 

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! HOW IS THAT HELPFUL?" I collapsed in on myself like a dying star. 

I was looking for structure and exactitude, which had been a huge part of following the Nutrisystem guidelines, but which also was driving me slowly insane. 

Imagine counting every calorie you put in your body religiously for a whole year. Imagine fretting about whether or not you've burned enough for the day and worrying about when you're going to fit in the early morning workout or whether you should go out with your friends because they're going for ice cream after the activity. It's grueling and sometimes lonely. It's totally necessary to go through the process when you're teaching yourself a new way to live, but it can go too far. 

In practice, while I fully intended on living Primal, I've actually ended up living Paleo partially because I can't take the pressure of "some," but also because I'm finding that I do have a bit of a gluten allergy (CURSE YOU AND YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL, BAKED GOODS) and maybe a little lactose intolerance too (/cry Icecream).  I am getting used to this whole "controlling your own sense of moderation thing" in terms of realizing when I'm full so that I stop eating. I've been limiting nuts, sweet potatoes, and fruit since I am still working on weight loss, so those are the only items I measure or weigh when I consume them. I will say that being full all the time has drastically improved my moods and not having to log everything I put in my mouth every day has really taken some of the pressure off. To me, it's worth eschewing those three food groups because I got my sanity back.

Yet, there are free days every so often where I go a little wild. I eat some ice cream or pizza. I have a piece of candy and BANG. The rest of that 24 hour period is cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria... in my mouth.

That's what she said.

What I'm trying to say is that because I've spent the last year taking control of every aspect of my life that was in excess, I'm now finding it hard to enjoy "some" of the things that I still want to keep in my life without letting them take over my life. 

With all this swimming around in my head, it dawned on me the other day that the reason I haven't been able to sit down and become immersed in a video game is that I'm terrified that I'll actually do it or even worse, I'll do it forever and lose all the progress I've made! I wish this was one of those blog entries with a wonderful solution all locked up in a pretty blue Tardis, but it's not. I'm still figuring this out. If it were as easy as, "I don't really want to game anymore" or "I could die happy if I never ate chocolate again," the problem would be solved, but life isn't that easy. Sadly we don't just get ourselves addicted to stuff that's not only awesome, but awesome for us. We all have to contend with "some" things that are only good for us in moderation. 

I'm haven't been completely unsuccessful at moderating my behavior. My free days are planned. I set them ahead of time and when they're over, they don't hang around (and despite being truly overindulgent 24 hour affairs. My only rule for now is that I stop eating if I feel sick or the food stops tasting like anything). I've adopted a Paleo diet so that I can stay sanely moderated most of the time without having to do so much math. I've found an exercise routine that I like (so I don't give up on it) and that I can vary in case of bad weather or a weirdly scheduled day. I make sure I have one or two days of rest a week so that I don't put too much pressure on myself or my body. I downloaded Star Trek Online because it was free and I was hoping that my new love of Star Trek would help me get into it. I started playing the new Tomb Raider with my room mate (we trade the controller after each failed quicktime event). I've only managed about 3 hours of game time in the last week, but at least it's something. This is all progress, but I'm still not where I'd ultimately like to be. I want to enjoy things that I love without fearing them or stressing out over them.

So, I'm putting this question out there to all of you! How do you moderate your food, gaming, hobby, passions while remaining on track? Obviously willpower is the biggest factor, but I know you guys are smart! I KNOW YOU HAVE SECRETS. Please don't tell me the Princess is in another castle. I know if we put our heads together we can think of some great ways to moderate our behavior without having a personality where fun goes to die. 

So while you do my work for me and start answering that question, I'm going to go sit in front of my awesome customized gaming computer and try to get myself to launch Skyrim because it's my day off, I'm sick, it's raining, and I deserve a little R & R after the long week I've had. I'll let you know how far I get.

Post Operation Weigh-In

I had my first post surgery weigh-in today. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I figured my greatest loss would have been in the hospital where they didn't let me eat for about 6 days, but that didn't seem to be the case. I guess it wasn't until after my return home that my body finally decided to react to all the stress. I've been able to get my appetite back and stick to the program over the last few days and I'm pretty sure that jumpstarted my metabolism or something. Whatever it did, it gave my body what it needed and I dropped 4.8 lbs this week! I was all:

I know it's sort of not real and that I'll probably fluctuate or not lose at all this week, but my main focus is to just get back to normal physically. I want to stick to the program, since my appetite really hasn't been what it once was, and I want to work up to getting on the treadmill at the gym.

I've been trying to stay busy at home. I create little to-do lists for each day so I don't go crazy. I have to call to make some follow up appointments at the hospital today and check in with my health insurance to make sure everything gets pre-certified for the follow-ups. Luckily, once all that is done, I'll be able to spend some time playing Skyrim on my new gaming desktop. But first! It looks like the rain has let up so I'm going to go for a nice little recovery walk whilst the weather holds.