Top 5 Cramp Cures

This was me almost every night after a run when I first started. Every night in bed, when I would straighten out my leg to stretch or roll over, BAM. The worst charlie horses the world has known descended upon me to break my slumber. It wasn't just once or twice, it was every time. Even when I got on my knees to clean under my bed, I got an unpleasant attack. As soon as the top of my foot was pressed against the floor, there it was; the most twisted, gnarled foot/calf cramp in the land.

The issue was completely brutal. I began to think, who could be behind these CLEARLY evil shenanigans. WHY WHO OTHER than the owner of a terrifying death whinny and apparent purveyor of non-stop crampitude?!

BAD HORSE.

This appeared as a moral dilemma, cause at first it was weird, though I swore to eliminate the worst of the cramps that devoured my sanity. It's true I was vague on the how, so how can it be that you have shown me the light? It's a brand new day, and the sun is high, and the cramps are sayin' that I'm gonna die. First I hesitated. Now I wonder why. It's a brand new day.

See what I did there? At first I thought, "This is my body adjusting to my new running regimen," but when the problem didn't go away, I decided to do something about it. I assumed the mantle of NURSE TERRIBLE and began to look for cures. Following my research, I assembled this list of 5 things/products that have given me some comfort and have definitely helped me reduce this issue significantly. I'm not sure I've eliminated Bad Horse and the Evil League of Evil, but I'm pretty sure I've chased them into hiding.

...For now. MWAHAHAHAHAHA... AHAH HA HA, HUH HA! ...So that's, you know. Coming along.

Without further ado, here's the list of my top five cramp cures;

1. Drink Water: One of the most common causes of cramps is dehydration! Make sure you're getting at least 64 oz of water per day.
2. Potassium: A potassium deficiency is one of the leading causes of the common cramp. After a hard workout, I've started eating a banana after I get home and shower. It's delicious and it not only helps with cramps but they're said to alleviate muscle soreness overall. Diet wise, they are very sugary, so I don't recommend chowing down on them non-stop, but one a day or even every other day can be very good for you. 
3. Mineral Ice: Bad Horse might actually know about this one, so keep it on the D.L.! I got this recommendation from a friend who rides horses. Apparently this is a product that's used for our equine friends (or NEMESES), but is just as useful for us. You can slather this on your legs after a run and then leave it on for about half an hour to get some relief. I will say that this stuff is pretty greasy so make sure you use saran wrap or you'll get it all over everything as you go about your business. I was doubtful since this is something you do for horses, but it did actually provide some relief despite being a bit of a mess.
4. Icy Hot: You can easily pick this up at any drug store. I prefer the non-greasy balm and stick approach. I like to keep the stick in my purse in case I need some on-the-go relief.
5. Yoga: It's important to stretch and some nice Hatha yoga will often do the trick. Focus on deepening all the stretches as much as you can and breathing into the areas that seem tight. Take your time. It might not have a huge affect right away when it comes to cramp reduction (it's not like I'm going to get out of bed and start doing a sun salutation every time Bad Horse comes to call!), but it's a very good habit to adopt into your workout routine and will help keep your calves from seizing up quite so much.

If I missed your favorite cramp cure, then please feel free to add it in the comments!

Sick and Irritated

Well I spent the entire night writhing in agony like Luke on the Death Star with severe abdominal cramps or pain or something. I don't know. I've gotten this "illness" about once a month for the last three months and these "pain sessions" usually strike every three hours for 24 hours and each session lasts about 30 minutes (and no, not during "that time"). This thing is so intense, I can't even put it into words. I'm not religious, but I'm reduced to just sitting there and praying to every higher power I can think of with tears running down my face. It's like an iron vice wraps around the center of my rib cage and slowly starts cinching in more and more until I'm seeing stars. If I move to try to relieve the pain, it sends the pain up or down my back and shoulders so there's no escape.

Well last night this pain gave me NO respite. Normally this comes in those half hour waves but nothing would get rid of them this time around...until I finally jammed some muscle relaxers down my throat this morning in desperation (this is pain so incredible that I can think of or do nothing else whilst it is happening), annnnnd promptly vomited until there was nothing left to give. Pro? The pain immediately subsided. None of the other times have caused that to happen, so I'm not sure what that's about. I ate perfectly on plan. None of this started happening till I started my diet, but I really can't believe one has anything to do with the other. Needless to say, I'm confused and I don't know what to do. Well, technically, I should go to the doctor... Ha. I hate hospitals. I'm worried about my health coverage being able to take care of whatever this is. 

Seeing a doctor could BANKRUPT me if my insurance doesn't cover whatever this is because I'm one of those starving artist types. So... awesome. I get to suffer- literally-for my art. Not sure what I should do about eating today so I'm just gonna wait till I feel some appetite coming back and then keep it simple with meals. I'm giving it an hour and if I still feel fine, then I'll head to the gym.