Loose Skin

Lately, there's been a lot of this going on in my life.

"Do you have loose skin? What are you going to do about it?"
"Are you calling me a whore?"

And then it's either funny or awkward and I imagine this interchange from Firefly.

In any case, I've had loose skin on the brain and to some extent, sadly on my body. Loose skin can sometimes occur after rapid/extreme weight loss as the fat is burned and the elasticity of the skin doesn't have time to readjust. My journey hasn't been so extreme but in 7 months, I've lost about 85 lbs, which is just over 3 lbs a week. I've mostly noticed it in my chest area and my inner thighs, but I'm sure I'll see more evidence as I progress towards my goal. 

A lot of people get surgery to correct this issue. Loose skin is not only unflattering, but it can also be argued that it gets in the way of exercise and can keep you from reaching your full potential as an athlete. For me, it's currently vanity that's the issue. My skin doesn't get in the way of my workouts, though I can feel some extra bounce in my bum and thighs. However, it's not so extreme that it discourages me from going to the gym. I've noticed certain things just seem a little deflated or that from specific angles, there's drooping that wasn't there before. Weirdly, I can see it a lot in my arms and armpits. Guys. I have saggy armpits. What does that even MEAN? Ugh. I try not to focus on it too much because over all, I'm feeling pretty fantastic about my progress. 

Having just been under the knife for my gallbladder removal, I'm not too keen on having another surgery any time soon. I also have 40 more pounds to lose before I'm at a healthy weight and I would really like to attain that goal and maintain my weight loss for about six months before I make any final decisions. 

Why six months? I'm young and although I've been overweight for most of my life, my body will be more forgiving than if I were older. I've heard that it takes about six months for your body to adjust to major physical change, so that's why I chose that amount of time.

It's also a matter of health insurance. If the procedure were purely seen as vanity, my insurance might not cover it. If I wait six months and then decide that surgery is something I really want to pursue, I can say that I've lived with the issue for 6 months, managed to keep the weight off, and I need to get the surgery to help me improve/intensify my fitness level. 

So that's my plan- reach my goal, maintain a healthy weight for six months. and then reassess the skin situation and go from there. I'd love to hear from anyone else who is dealing with this issue or has any concerns or advice so feel free to comment!

My First Gain: My Fat Is Trolling Me

Well today was my first weigh-in day where I gained since starting this program 7 months ago. I only gained 1.2 lbs, but if I had lost that much, it would seem significant, so it certainly doesn't seem like a victory week. 

Obviously it's disappointing but I'm not really surprised after the week I had. I'm coming off a few weeks of pretty major loss following my surgery and I gave myself a free day on Monday night to enjoy treats at our New Years party- one of my three indulgence days for the holiday season. I didn't realize it would go on for two whole days, so I didn't pack extra Nutrisystem food like I normally would when I go to stay at a friend's house. I had to wing it on a day where I wasn't able to be particularly active and though I did my best, I certainly got off track and I don't think I every quite recovered during the course of the week. Sadly, my gym was also closed for a few days following that AND I had my last ERCP procedure for my gallbladder situation so the doctor recommended that I didn't do anything strenuous. Then I had four days of work, giving walking tours all day long (which was actually great because I needed to get more active). Anyways, those are all EXCUSES- I could have gotten off my ass and gone for a walk even if I couldn't go to the gym. I didn't. It was my choices that got me here. I could spend more time beating myself up, but I won't. Today is a new day and it's time to hit the ground running. It's time to stick 100% to the plan and get the the gym at least 4 days this week.

Conversely, there were a few positives to the week. 

I tackled my boredom with frozen veggies by putting together a huge salad kit for the next five days. I've been going the frozen route because the small grocery store near me really doesn't have great produce and walking to the far away one (and of course walking back with heavy shopping bags) is pretty awful. So I decided it would be worth it if I bought enough salad "fixins" for about five days. I tossed the baby romaine salad with peppers, carrots, and cucumbers. Then I put them into super fresh-keeping tupperware containers and dish out my portions of veggies and measure out the low fat dressing at meal time. We'll see how it goes this week, but so far, it's amazing. I look forward to the fresh salads more than I do the ACTUAL Nutrisystem dinners! It's my favorite part of the day. SALAD IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY?! Who am I? :)

I got to go back to work this week, which is taking some monetary stress off my shoulders. Even though it's our slow season for tours, I'm just happy that even a LITTLE money is going into my account. I've been living pretty frugally and will continue to do so because I have a small vacation to fund in March. I'm going to PAX East, a gaming convention, and I'm going with my boyfriend and a bunch of friends. 

The convention marks one of my mini weightloss goals (-88 lbs by March 22) and my second cosplay attempt. This time, my boyfriend is joining me in costume to support my efforts (what a trooper!), and we're going as Rainbow Dash, and Soarin the Wonderbolt from "My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic." Weirdest part: That was his choice! Heeehehehehehe. That's right, folks. I'm in dating a Brony. This week, we kicked it into high gear with building our costumes. I have a lot of sewing to do and because this costume is more tailored than my last one, I have to wait until closer to the event to start on the clothing aspects of mine or I'll be swimming in it. So, I'm starting by sewing his, ordering my prescription pink contacts, and building all the details like aviator goggles, our pegasus wings, and my custom painted rainbow sneakers with LED rainbow laces. 

Lastly, I'm currently watching The Biggest Loser and I'm celebrating because for the first time, I'm watching it without an iota of fear. I used to feel inspired by the show, but in the back of my head, when the contestants struggled, I always panicked a little because I knew I had yet to face my own demons on the scale, in the gym, and at the table. Now I am transforming myself and I am focusing more on the commonalities between myself and the folks who are hard at work on the show. So for fun, I'm tracking my weightloss along with the show in a personal mini challenge to see how much I can lose during the course of the season. It's nice because the episodes come out on Hulu on my weigh in day so I can write my blog whilst watching the show. So my first Biggest Loser weigh-in is: 178.8 lbs. We'll see how it goes next week!

Measurements & The Biggest Loser

I was surprised by how great my measurements are coming along this morning. I was definitely expecting them to be a little "blegh" because of recovering from surgery and not being able to hit the gym for a week and a half this past month, but it looks like I was able to stay right on track so I was proud of myself for devising a plan for recovery and sticking with it.

New Years was fun, though I did indulge a little TOO much in goodies. I was giving myself permission to splurge on that day, but now it's time to get back to 100% on plan. The holidays are over folks! It's time for us all to start kicking ass again. No excuses!

I took a new Facebook profile picture and compared it to other pictures of my face throughout the years. It's almost gross how pudgy my face was before in comparison. I should do a "before/after" of my face at some point just to show the difference. I don't know how I convinced myself that I hadn't put on much weight after seeing how bloated I used to be in comparison to what I see now.

For whatever reason I thought The Biggest Loser was cancelled, but I just saw a promo for a new season and I'm SOOOO excited cause I love that show. I know their results are unrealistic in a way, but I love watching the contestants transform, inside and out, plus there's a lot of nutritional education on that show as well. This is the first time I won't be watching it and thinking, "I should really get my ass off the couch and do something about my problems." That's really exciting for me because their were times when I was certainly watching that show and eating a whole pizza at the same time. SHAAAAAAAME! Haha! Anyways! I'm super excited to watch! Anyone else planning on tuning in?

Healthy Holiday Greetings

By Maria Clapsis

I've been spending the last week in recovery from my gallbladder surgery and it's been going pretty well. I spent each day slowly working my strength back up to what it was at the gym. I started just walking outside for half an hour at a time, then moved on to doing that on the treadmill so I could monitor heart rate and speed. Then I kept ramping that up in time, incline, and intensity every day until yesterday I finally was able get on the elliptical and do a 45 minute cardio session. After I see the doctor for my follow-up on the 27th, I'll probably get the ok to do high intensity interval training again. 

I've been eating 100% healthy this week since I've been stuck at the apartment which has been really nice. Not a lot of temptation out there- what luck for the holidays! I am headed to Connecticut to spend time with family for the next two days and I've heard that our Christmas Eve dinner promises to be pretty healthy. Filet mignon, spinach, and sweet potatoes. I'm bringing some Nutrisystem food to supplement throughout the holiday, but for the most part I'm giving myself a pass to splurge a little since I've been so good the entire season. I figure if there's ever a day to splurge, its the REAL CHRISTMAS DAY! 

It's weird. I think this is the first holiday season that I've successfully been able to lose weight. Oddly, it's not as hard as I feared- just takes some planning and a bit of will. It's easier to hold off on the little temptations when I know I'm going to have a treat looming on the horizon. :)

Well, I'm off to the gym! Not sure when my parents are arriving so I want to make sure I get in one last good workout before we head to Connecticut. Happy HEALTHY Holidays everyone!

Post Operation Weigh-In

I had my first post surgery weigh-in today. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I figured my greatest loss would have been in the hospital where they didn't let me eat for about 6 days, but that didn't seem to be the case. I guess it wasn't until after my return home that my body finally decided to react to all the stress. I've been able to get my appetite back and stick to the program over the last few days and I'm pretty sure that jumpstarted my metabolism or something. Whatever it did, it gave my body what it needed and I dropped 4.8 lbs this week! I was all:

I know it's sort of not real and that I'll probably fluctuate or not lose at all this week, but my main focus is to just get back to normal physically. I want to stick to the program, since my appetite really hasn't been what it once was, and I want to work up to getting on the treadmill at the gym.

I've been trying to stay busy at home. I create little to-do lists for each day so I don't go crazy. I have to call to make some follow up appointments at the hospital today and check in with my health insurance to make sure everything gets pre-certified for the follow-ups. Luckily, once all that is done, I'll be able to spend some time playing Skyrim on my new gaming desktop. But first! It looks like the rain has let up so I'm going to go for a nice little recovery walk whilst the weather holds.

Road to Recovery

Well I got back from the hospital on Thursday afternoon after having surgery to remove my gallbladder on Wednesday morning. I can happily say that all went well aside from the doctor having to work around some scar tissue that had accrued from letting this go on so long.

Luckily my dad arrived on Tuesday night. I'm so lucky to have him. I was getting really tired of being too drugged to make informed decisions or being unable to fight for things that I needed because I was connected to an IV and weak from 6 days of no food and all the morphine being pumped into my system. I did have some wonderful nurses who I appreciated a great deal, but going through hospitalization all alone was a little scary and lonely and I was filled with relief when Dad got there. 

The only thing that made me super angry happened right before surgery started. They had the IV in my hand and were starting to prep me/put me out. The drugs going into my veins started to REALLY hurt and my heart-rate started rising and I begged someone to help me because it hurt so bad. They just kept telling me I was fine and going about their business- and when they got tired of listening to me, they smashed an oxygen mask onto my face. The next thing I knew, I was screaming in pain after surgery and crying my eyes out. I was so mad because I was helpless in that situation and even though I was in pain, they just shut me up till I was knocked out and they wouldn't have to listen to me. Not cool.

After surgery, I spent some time in recovery where they injected me with all sorts of pain killers and soon enough they took me to my room to sleep it off. Later in the evening I decided to try and walk a little bit, since that's one of the things they say helps with recovery the most. It was hard, but I did a few laps around my floor and soon enough I was able to move around unassisted at a reasonable speed. Of course, I was pretty full of drugs for the pain, but I felt good about my progress and my Uncle Jack came to visit me as well.

Best of all, they finally let me eat and drink. This was my reaction:

First, they gave me water and apple juice, and I swear it was like MANA FROM THE HEAVENS. I drank sooooo much water. My thirst could not be slaked by any amount of it. Later they brought me some fish, green beans and soup. They brought me a ton of other junk too, but I tried to eat light so that I could take it easy on my body. After all, without a gallbladder, my liver will be taking over some responsibilities. 

I had some trouble sleeping that first night, but I ended up just going for walks whenever I couldn't sleep. The next morning the doctors signed off on my discharge which I was ecstatic about going home. My dad made sure I got there alright and then stayed with me for a few days to help nurse me back to health and make sure I had everything I needed to stock my house for recovery. We went on a few walks and he helped me do some chores that needed doing around the house. My boyfriend came to stay as well, which was interesting since they had never met before. It was sort of adorably domestic watching both of them take care of me. I felt very loved and well looked after. I'm very lucky to have them. We all made an outing to see The Hobbit on Friday since I was disappointed that I had to miss the midnight release viewing plans that I had with my friends on Thursday night. We had a lot of fun, though of course the movie had its flaws. I had a little trouble concentrating because of the painkillers so I'll probably want to go see it again.

Funnily, the biggest struggle with recovery was... ::drumroll please:: Pooping. I know, I know, TMI, but HEAR ME OUT!The painkillers they give you make it hard to go and I hadn't been in over a week. Of course they give you medication to help, but it takes a while to kick in. It became PAINFUL because there was no room for more food (even though I was justifiably hungry after days and days of not eating), and because my organs had been jostled about quite a bit and they didn't take kindly to being shoved out of the way in favor of my body's refuse. Hahahahah! Sometimes I imagined that all of my organs were brawling over who deserved to annex who's apartment most in the new space in my abdomen, only to be thwarted by my intestines at the last moment. Anyways... I found it amusing, though it could be the oxycodone. For that reason, I've been trying to limit my doses of painkillers to times when I REALLY need them and that's seemed to do the trick. Yesterday I only took one dose after getting a coughing attack (which obviously really hurt) and today I've been pill free so hopefully I can pull through without them. 

My goal is to be back in the gym on Wednesday (a week after surgery), just walking on the treadmill to get my heart-rate up for a half hour. I've been building up bit by bit by taking a few easy 20 minute walks a day and hopefully I can stay on track that way. I don't want to let this episode distract me. I've been right back to my Nutrisystem diet as well now that I'm home, so at least I know I'm eating right even if if I'm not as active as I'd like to be. It's a little frustrating because this feels like a set back, but I'm trying focus on the positives like how much harder the surgery would have been to perform if I were still at my starting weight (not to mention a harder recovery), how willing I am to jump back into being active as soon as possible, and how positive my doctors were about my recovery process whilst I was still in the hospital. They all seemed surprised to see me up and about as much as I was. So, I have to be careful not to push myself too hard, but I also need to stay on track.

Adventures in the ER

I ran from my health issues for as long as I could, but they finally caught up to me.

I finally gave in and checked myself into the ER for severe abdominal pain after 3 months of intermittent suffering. After a Friday and Saturday of the most monumental pain I've ever experienced and not being able to keep meals down, I cracked and took a cab to the hospital. It's a good thing I did because it turns out I have gallstones and I need to get my gallbladder removed. The pain was being caused by stones being released and then getting stuck resulting in bile building up pressure behind them, which caused intense pain that lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 15 hours. 

How did this happen? Well, my friends; extreme weightloss. My doctor told me weight gain or loss can cause this and when I told them about my success with my diet and exercise, they said, "Congratulations! ...But yes. Your weightloss definitely triggered this."

Why is my body betraying me after all the work I've done for it!? Curse it and its sudden but inevitable betrayal! Well at least it's not because of weight GAIN. They did a mini operation yesterday to clear out all the stones that were stuck in the tubes, but the big operation should be tomorrow. I'm shakin' in my boots because I've never had surgery before.

I have to say that the worst part is not being allowed to eat for the past five days. They said they might allow me liquids yesterday, but not till the doctor OKs it and with the operation this morning, I doubt they'll let me eat any solids. That will be almost a week without food and water if I can't eat till Thursday. Obviously I have an IV but there's a rock of hunger building in my stomach and its constantly growling. Meh!

Anyways. That's what's up over here! May your gallbladders remain stoneless and the odds be ever in your favor!