I decided to bust into my 90% dark chocolate. I ate a square and it tasted like dirt. I remember LOVING it before. I guess I have a bit longer for that super sensitive palette to kick in again. SAD ANNE IS SAD.
However, Sad Anne is not going to be so sad in April when she journeys to Japan with some of her closest friends! Guys, I'm so excited about this trip. I've always wanted to go and this group is "The A Team." We have a smattering of Japanese between us and my friend's Emily and Chris have been there before so they're going to take the reins. I'm so unbelievably excited to experience this adventure. I'm hoping it will be a bit palette cleansing and of course it gives me a damn good reason to stick to my Paleo guns in the mean time so I can really enjoy taking all of our pictures. Emily and I might do an apprentice Geisha photo shoot in Kyoto, which would be amazing because we're definitely going to be there during cherry blossom season. Most of our time will be spent in Tokyo and Kyoto, so if you have day trip ideas for the surrounding towns, please let me know since we're trying to plan and make reservations. I need all the help and suggestions I can get!
In other news, I've been thinking about whatI should do for my next cosplay and I'm torn between Boussh/Leia and the Kotobukiya Mara Jade. I'm leaning towards Leia since I love her so much and no one ever does that ensemble, but Mara Jade is my favorite EU character. Whatever I do, I need to do the project justice so leave your ideas in the comments!
I'm sure a lot of Slayers have been wondering where I went or why. It has been so rewarding to share my successes with you all since I started posting, but last year, just around Christmas, I started to feel like a real failure, and not just with health.
Oddly enough, it was at that time that I got a really great paid gig to teach theater/voice at my alma mater, Tabor Academy for a limited time during the course of their Winter Musical rehearsal process for Legally Blonde. The experience was incredible. The kids were so committed and spectacular. It was a real Anna from Frozen "For the First Time in Forever" moment. By that, I mean I had been struggling to find a place for myself when it came to the performing arts since college and especially after the majority of my weight loss. Sure I was exercising my creativity through cosplay, but I wasn't necessarily doing what I had intended to do with my BFA in theater from Tisch School of the Arts. I wanted to perform and to coach others and getting to do that and getting PAID to do it gave me both a thrill and also the sense that I'd been waisting my time with excuses for a too long.
For all my claiming that "my major physique change" made my resume look ridiculous and my reel material unusable, I realized that I had actually been fearing whether people would even accept the "new me" professionally. I'd played the butch lesbian and the ridiculous and ridiculed fatty for so long that I didn't really know how to type cast myself and go out for roles anymore. Getting to work with the kids at Tabor and share my wealth of knowledge and experience with them should have made me feel better about what I was doing with my life, but it actually made me feel worse because I realized I should have been searching endlessly for jobs like that all the time instead of becoming an artistic cripple in hibernation waiting until she became a butterfly.
On top of that, my day job became really soul crushing during the holidays. It's our busiest time of year and it is basically a customer service job, even though my title is Tour Guide. It's a lot of traffic and a lot of pressure to make the holidays happen for thousands of people in the course of 7 weeks and it really took it's toll on me. It's not that I hate my job. I actually enjoy it. I just suffer, as anyone would, from dealing with all the negative aspects of providing good customer service to patrons flowing in on an unbelievably relentless scale. By the time the New Year came, I just wanted to go to sleep FOREVER.
So yeah. Cue the self loathing. And then cue the relationship problems. I'll spare you the details, but for the second year in a row, I felt let down by my significant other when it came to being present during the holidays. It's really hard during that time of year because I am so beset by problems at work that I'm not always the best partner either during that time. The anxiety and frustration with each other just accumulated at a crazy rate. With all the stress and the previous year of denying myself holiday treats, I decided to say, for lack of a better phrase, "Fuck it." I was going to enjoy the treats of the holidays when they were offered and I was going to enjoy the food. I didn't gain a lot, but I did gain the holiday weight we all dread.
These negative nutritional changes also followed a few episodes of fainting at work while doing a Whole30. I felt like a complete failure and like this system that I really enjoyed wasn't going to work for me. The high fat was a lot for my gal bladderless body to handle and there were a lot of factors but in the end, my disappointment was another thing that led to my "Fuck it" behavior. I can actually remember the exact moment. I had gotten woozy for the second time at work and my boss handed me a corn muffin and practically demanded that I eat it. That was it. After that, the age of "Fuck It" was upon me.
I decided my New Years resolution was going to be "Don't work for free anymore." Any artist will tell you that making that decision is a HARROWING moment. People tell you all the time "You may never work again if you do that." I decided that I had wasted a lot of time on theater companies that wanted more than just my acting skills and who demanded a lot from me while giving almost nothing in return. It's natural to think that those projects may get you in the front door when those directors get in a position to offer pay checks to their performers. What I'll say is that the one time that happened for me, I NEVER GOT PAID A SINGLE DIME despite having a contract because the director didn't have anyone advising him on the financial side of doing shows and he ended up making promises he couldn't keep- including promising us a certain amount and then getting the cast to take a pay cut so that he could pay the people coming in from Jersey and Long Island more money. How is that my fault? Why should I be penalized? I digress. These are old festering wounds in the form of lessons that taught me to choose carefully who you work with, to make sure the work is paid, and to accept that this may mean taking less work than usual. Frankly, doing all of those projects was keeping me from even attempting to find paid work.
My relationship nearly crumbled at the beginning of February resulting in a lonely Valentine's Day and a lot of stress due to some health scares that I don't want to get into. Suffice to say I was completely rattled. I felt alone. Instead of pumping myself up at the gym, I went less and less. That's not to say that I was completely sedentary, but it IS to say that I got heavily into MMO's again and my obsession caused me to cook less and less and order out more and more.
As my boyfriend and I tried to mend the shambling corpse of our relationship, I attempted my biggest cosplay feat to date. I will always treasure my Daughters of the Eyrewood costume and the experience I got to have at PAX East 2014 because of it. I'm a huge Penny Arcade and I love those guys to death and I love their Eyrewood Adventures most of all. As you can see in our interview video with Nerd Caliber below, we ended up running into Mike Krahulik/Gabe, the artist who created our characters, and he invited us to play test his new game Thornwatch with the PA crew that night. He also showed off our costumes during his panel on the game. It was honestly just the best reception to a costume that I've ever had. To have your work truly appreciated by the original artist and to get to share the experience with them is really incredible. This was my first costume that I can say I completely made myself, minus my shirt, and it was the first costume that I used my new sewing machine on. It was also my first time wiring LED's into a costume. If Mike hadn't invited us to the play test, we never would have made it there because we got mobbed for photos all the time, something that really surprised me because these characters are so obscure. I think anyone who knows about the Eyrewood loves it immediately and I also think having costumes that light up, really rakes in the attention, FYI. This experience did a lot to repair the relationship issues that my boyfriend and I had been having and we really treasured and continue to treasure this experience. We got so close as we experienced our dream of what the best PAX ever could be and no matter what has happened since, I don't think we'll ever be able to top it.
We even got featured on the front page of Penny Arcade in Mike's post about the Thornwatch playtest at PAX East. Guys, when this game comes out I'm gonna run it for ALL THE PEOPLE ANY TIME ANYONE WILL LET ME. It's so badass I can't even. I cannot. Even.
Then I went to Italy, which honestly started out very physically. I hiked every high altitude path connecting the beautiful towns of Cinque Terre with my parents and my friend Passion, who happened to be visiting at the same time. These hikes were super challenging, but I was really glad to see that I could do them because I don't think I would have enjoyed the experience as much at 250 lbs. It was stunning and I felt great for the beginning of our three week trip. It's not that hard to eat healthy in Italy if one avoids pasta. I managed to do that for a while, but then the gnocchi devil got a hold of me near the end of the trip and I put on everything I lost on the mountainsides of North Italy. Also wine. I drank lots of wine with dinner because Italy. Sorry not sorry about that one. It was vacation.
The only problem was, I didn't really get back on track when I came home.
Photo by Adam Jason Photography
Photo by Ron Frary
I auditioned for and got a role in the New York Renaissance Faire as a part of the Sirens of Sterling, an all female six lady a capella group. I feel so blessed to have had this experience. I am in awe of my fellow cast mates and their improvisational and stage combat skills. We all had so much to learn from each other and I made friends that I really hope last a life time. It was also nice to know that I could still work creatively and get paid for it. Huzzah, indeed! On the flipside, I made a lot of poor food choices because I was walking, skipping, and May Pole Dancing for a distance of about 20 miles every weekend according to the pedometer I kept hidden in my waist pouch. I drank plenty of alcohol to lull myself to sleep in the freezing campgrounds and I made the most of the treats on site, including delicious morning pastries and Butterbeer once a weekend. Suffice to say, I may have overestimated how many calories I could burn in a weekend and I certainly wasn't keeping track.
Then, the coup de grace. My boyfriend of two years decided to move in with me after hemming and hawing for about nine months about where our relationship was going. He took two months to prepare for the actual move in. Every time I asked if he was ready, he made an excuse. He was going through a lot of life changes at the time so I didn't pressure him. I was trying to be understanding. After a while, I finally felt like there was something wrong. He admitted to me finally that he didn't want to move in and that he felt like his feelings for me had changed and that I didn't have my life together amongst many other complaints. In a fireball of shock and pain, I relied on my friends, new and old to get me through the last weekend of faire and upon my return, he landed his final blow and we broke up. Words cannot express how sad I still am and how worthless I feel all the time. It doesn't seem matter at all to my self esteem that I'm still acquiring paid creative gigs both as a performer, teacher, and through cosplay commissions. I still feel his doubt in me hammering away at everything I accomplish and it makes me wonder why I wasn't good enough? I should know that I am enough and that it just wasn't meant to be, but as anyone who has suffered through something like this will tell you, it's easy to question yourself even if you know you shouldn't. I have to accept that what he said was his truth and we're damn well better off apart if he feels that way.
I've gotten so much support from my friends and I feel like such a drag for still being sad, despite a month having passed. I feel like I owe it to everyone to try and pick up the pieces and get myself back to normal because they've put so much time and energy into making sure I'm going to be ok. They've cuddled me and counseled me until they were blue in the face and it has been so appreciated. I still sort of don't know how to be single. I've tried going on some dates just to help myself move on, but it just feels so pointless. I'm ready for the real deal and I'm ready to be appreciated and supported by someone who's all in (Thanks new Gilmore Girls obsession), and to give that to a partner in return. All of this dating BS is horrific and I just can't seem to let go and have a good time. It's hard to even have fun because I don't want to just "have fun." I want something real. It's a vicious cycle of convincing myself to take a chance, followed by a sadness spiral that I'll never find what I'm looking for, followed by telling myself not to look and just let things happen, followed by crippling loneliness. The hole in my heart makes me feel like someone died. I guess the person I thought my boyfriend was did die when he let me down. I know that seems over dramatic but that's just how it feels right now. Going from feeling like you're finally about to take that next big step with someone to losing them and having them tell you all your failings have made you less attractive to them is a real shock to the system. I know I'm strong and I can get over anything, but this really does feel like an insurmountable tragedy. I don't know how to go on. I suppose only time will help heal that.
I know this is post is super emo, but it's really just meant to honestly share with you all what my deteriorating mental state has become. I'm not that girl who ran a half marathon right now. I'm not Rainbow Dash. I'm not the elf rogue. I'm not any of those strong people I was transforming myself into for so long and it hurts so much to see myself in such a horrible light. I feel confused and lost. I feel restless. I feel like the problems won't go away. I just want to do something crazy and pick up my life and move across the country to LA or Seattle and just start over. In my heart, I know I'd just be trying to run away from what's gotten lodged inside me- which you can't run from anyways because it's an inside problem. Also bills. Jesus. New York is SO EXPENSIVE. I think sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can get your ass in gear to make good choices and that's sort of what this ticking down of events felt like. The contrast of seeing a better life for myself creatively mingled with the grief from the loss of someone who I thought was my biggest champion and the slow deterioration of my health is just crushing me and I need to get myself back in order. There are things you can't control in life and there are things you can battle. I chose my health long ago and I'm realizing that no matter what, I can keep choosing it, and in fact, I'll have to keep choosing it.
I started at New York Comic Con by focusing not a cosplay character who I felt would help me physically, but one who would help me mentally. I had to start getting myself out of the dumps. I chose to work on Pinkie Pie because I needed desperately to feel happy during my first cosplay/con experience since losing my boyfriend and cosplay partner in crime. It definitely wasn't my best received costume, but it is a start. I made a lot of people smile, true to Pinkie's style, and I discovered that despite my inner pain, I could still have fun, which was a big relief in a lot of ways. I still missed my ex, but I relearned how to experience a convention with friends and even by myself from time to time. It wasn't so bad. I saw a lot of really cool things and all the other costume artisans inspired me to step up my game for PAX East. I haven't made any final decisions on what I'm doing, but it may be Star Wars themed. More on that later.
It's that time of year folks! Here are 10 Holiday Gift Ideas for Slayers!
Meat Thermometer: Even if you're not eating Paleo, protein is power. Delicious protein that's cooked properly will only make you want to make and eat more. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Food Processor: You can get your feet wet with more complicated recipes that keep things interesting. You can also use this to make Paleo treats to get you through the hard times without breaking your diet rhythm.
Sewing Machine: When it comes to cosplay, this is an eventual must buy for everyone! This is certainly on my list after doing hand sewing on four different costumes. Time is of the essence when it comes to your hobbies and I definitely don't want to craft at the expense of crunches! Here is a great pinterest page of sewing machines that my friend Angela from The Anomaly Podcast put together to help me choose my first one!
Fitbit or other Distance/Pedometer/Calorie Monitor: Monitoring everything is a real key to learning what your specific body and lifestyle needs for success. Everyone is different and if you don't start tracking your calories in/calories out and general activity level, you may not know how to make the changes you need!
A great set of non-stick pans: If you're going to make cooking a major staple of your life, you'll want to make sure you set yourself up for success! It's definitely an investment, but you'll be loving yourself when you have all the equipment you need to make a variety of dishes in the kitchen with minimum effort for cleanup.
Netflix Subscription: All geeks love binge watching their favorite show. The best part about netflix is that it will keep track of where you are in each series and you can load it on to mobile devices and take them to the gym with you. I have whole series that I've only watched on the elliptical machine and treadmills. It's a great motivator when you make a contract with yourself that you'll only watch reruns at the gym!
Gym Membership: This is one of those things that we all complain that we can't afford. Using up my bday present to ask for a gym membership last year was the best thing I ever did. Now I do most of my working out on my own, but having a place to go and resources to pull from is incredible in the beginning. Plus, most gyms will offer classes so you can easily mix it up or try something new!
Etsy: Supporting fellow crafty slayers is awesome. You'll find unique gifts that help people show their fandoms in ways that can't be mass produced. You'll find outerwear, ornamets, jewelry, and all sorts of nick nacks. Seriously. It's your friend.
Nerd Fitness Books: These guides are incredible and written for people like you and me. There are a lot of tips for working out outside of the gym and of course advice on diet and getting your feat wet in running, lifting, and much more. I really couldn't recommend supporting Nerd Fitness more!
Geeky Gym Attire: Wearing my geeky Teefury t's and my Mockingjay pin to the gym gives me the extra push I need to work out like the badass I want to be rather than the lazy wimp I sometimes feel like. I love to keep my connection between my fandoms and my fitness going throughout my day to day life because it reinforces the idea that these things are no longer separate. Plus, imagining you're a tribute and your life is going to be on the line is a huge motivator! You can always check out the Project Reroll store for t-shirts, waterbottles, and more! #shamelessplug
So Happy Holidays, Slayers! Thanks for reading and for all you've done to support me and my guest bloggers this year! If you have any things you think people should have on their wishlists, then add them in the comments! What are you asking Chthulu- I mean Santa- for this year?
I'm putting out a call to arms. This country has a real obesity problem and it starts with our kids. I feel like our wee nerdlettes have it even worse because society expects them to grow up in their mom's basement, stuffing themselves with Doritos and pizza and not contributing to society beyond fighting over the conclusion of Battlestar Galactica on web forums.
I'm not a nutritionist and I'm not a physician, but I am one of those former-fat-kid-dreamers who is fighting her way to a healthier adulthood without rejecting her fandom or blaming it. I don't think loving comics, scifi, and fantasy is an obesity death sentence like some people do. Geeks are naturally obsessive so if they can obsess about what inspires them, they tend to be more unstoppable than ANY other section of society. At least, that's my opinion and I am terribly biased! I've said this many times on this blog but I had one major mental shift that helped me want change, rather than being told I needed to make it.
I don't want to watch heroes. I want to be the hero in the epic tale of my life.
Kids these days are so detached from what they do and what they eat. Some don't even know what fresh food is or where it comes from.
Heroes are people they admire in TV shows or movies or they play them as avatars in video games. Sure, they want to be like Thor, train Pokemon like Ash, or adorably parkour around obstacles like Rapunzel from Tangled, but what if that went beyond simply playing dress-up or appeasing their interest with more content featuring those characters. What if we could get them in touch with what those characters actually do and stand for so that they can put those things into action in their own lives.
What if we could show them what Chris Hemsworth does to train for Thor and helped them learn how to do a popper sit-up or push-up? What if we took them to a beginner parkour class so they could pull Assassin's Creed stunts? What if we encourage them to build an adventurer's heart like The Doctor! What if we got them into water bending by doing tai chi in the mornings? What if we taught them to cook food that looks like it came out of a Ghibli film so that they could grow up with the power to feed their health rather than their impulses?
It's gotta be possible. We should be leading the way for the next generation. I don't have kids but I've spent some time as a mentor and as a camp counselor and I'm pretty passionate about being a good influence on our youth. I want to start taking Project Reroll into that realm. If have any readers with kids, younger siblings, or even people they babysit up to 17 years old, I'd like to issue my first "Mini Slayer" challenge.
The Mini Slayer Halloween Challenge
This week is Halloween, incidentally one of my favorite holidays because we get to ask ourselves what and who we want to be! It's incredibly empowering!
The first step is to take a picture of the kid participating in the challenge in their Halloween costume and have them write a sentence about why they chose be that thing/person.
Then, for just one week following Halloween (Friday to Friday), you and the young slayer participating will agree to do three active adventures based on the theme of their costume. This could be going for nature walks if they were Poison Ivy or finding your center with some Yoga Jedi training. Get creative! Make it something they're excited about!
The second part of the challenge deals with diet. Aside from one piece of candy a day, you will agree to make every meal using fresh, non processed food and that you will eat at least one serving of vegetables and one serving of fruit each day. You do not have to eat Paleo, but ideally this whole plan will force you to spend a little time talking about food and cooking together each day.
At the end, I'd love to hear about some of the meals you made and see pictures from the activities you did so I can share them here, on our Facebook page and on Twitter. There's no scale or measurements involved here. It's just about using fantasy to inspire and integrate active and healthier experiences into a kid's life for one week.
Please send all photos and descriptions of your experiences to contactprojectreroll@gmail.com and leave a comment here if you're planning to participate so I can be on the look out for submissions! Best of luck Slayers! I choose you!
This past weekend at New York Comic Con was a ton of fun for a lot of reasons, but there was something that happened which reminded me of how far I've come in the last year and it's a sentiment that I think everyone should try to incorporate into their lives.
As you all know, I spent over 120 hours in the last month making my Dragon Age costume for Comic Con. I learned a whole new set of skills. I spent a lot of money, sweat, tears, and passion on creating my Tallis costume for NYCC. I carefully tested everything out before the event and wore the armor around the house for a few hours so I could make adjustments for comfort and fit. I was ready.
I wouldn't find out how sadly mistaken I was till the morning of the con on Friday. My friend had done my hair and make-up, another had helped apply my ears, and yet another was on hand to help me get suited up. I had a support team of champions at the ready to help me look my best. I'd done a Whole30 leading up to day of the con to slim down a little. Well, apparently I slimmed down more than a little. When I pulled on the leg guards, they immediately slid down my legs. I couldn't take a step without them falling down around my ankles. The more that happened, the more they started to destroy my boot covers. When I was going to the bag check the bag ripped my choker apart somehow. It was like watching Vesuvius destroy Pompeii. The pieces of the puzzle were all there, but they were losing functionality by the second. I really just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Not only had I made this costume for me, but I made it so that I could have an immediate "in" for starting conversations with people and telling them about this site and my mission to help my fellow geeks get what they want out of life, whether that's getting healthy, getting into cosplay, or just chasing after their life goals. Obviously conventions are fun, but they're also great for networking and cosplay is a wonderful way to bring fellow fans out of the wood work.
It was just a gargantuan disappointment. It made me miss one of the panels I was most looking forward to and it felt like the world was crashing down around me as my masterpiece fell apart. It got to the point where I had to make an important decision. I could struggle to wear it all day and be horribly uncomfortable as the costume was destroyed through wear and tear, or I could take it off and just be a normal con-goer. That might sound like a silly thing to stress over, but in the past year I've realize how very important cosplay is to me. It has completely changed my convention experience and I oddly feel naked without it.
As horrible as that all felt, I also knew that making the decision as efficiently as possible was for the best. If I had stayed in that state of dejected panic, I would have ruined the whole weekend for myself. After giving myself five minutes to be super depressed, I got myself to a bathroom, changed into my street clothes, shoved my business cards in my pocket, and hit the show floor with renewed vigor.
The next day, I grabbed my Ren Faire costume, and added a few pieces from Tallis for details. Even though I wasn't a recognizable character, I still got attention from photographers and other cosplayers because I stood out from the average con goer. Every day, I made it work with what I had and I made sure to create my own opportunities to meet my personal heroes and anyone else I thought would enjoy hearing about Project Reroll. I made friends in every panel line and made a schedule for all the signings, industry meet-ups, and special events I thought I should attend. I met pro cosplayers like Yaya Han, Ivy Doomkitty (who I just featured a few articles ago), and Nicole Marie Jean. I attended afterparties to bravely worked the room (something that still horrifies me to this day) and was rewarded with meeting my favorite Mythbuster, Grant Imahara! I waited in line to meet Felicia Day, who was so congratulatory about my achievements that she gave me a high five, followed by taking the time to talk about how almond milk was our jam and that cupcakes are the greatest thing ever. On Sunday I went to a panel on how to protect your new business from a legal perspective and after asking a question about my idea for a geek themed Paleo cook book, I got approached by someone who helps new authors put together book proposals. As an added bonus, my year of research into cosplay helped me recognize Monika Lee and Jessica Nigri on the street on Monday so I could meet them too! What was a disaster turned into an amazing weekend of meeting new people, building public knowledge about our growing Slayer community here on Project Reroll, sharing stories, playing ALL THE DEMOS, and celebrating my geek identity. Even though I couldn't premiere my new costume, it still made for a great one year cosplay anniversary.
A year ago I might not have been capable of picking myself up like that and carrying on, let alone making the absolute most of a bad situation. When you work hard at something like weight loss or sticking to a very strict diet, the first time you experience a big failure, it can be extremely derailing. A lot of people give up right there, but in reality, giving up is the only way to fail. If you make a mistake, you can recover if you just keep working hard afterwards. So be brave (like this amazing little girl who wanted to be like Sokka so much that she shaved the sides of her head to achieve his exact hairstyle for her cosplay. WATER TRIBE.). Don't let disappointments get in the way of the bigger picture. There's always something you can do to make the most of a bad situation. Hell, you might even be able to transform it into an AWESOME situation if you put your mind to it.
While I want to support being healthy, I also support the concept of body positivity. I think that taking your health seriously is a personal journey and it's about learning how to embrace who you are at every step along the way, not just the finish line. I don't think being thin makes you who you are. I think taking action to improve your life will show you who you are and that sometimes that can result in becoming a more fit person.
One of the things that helped me embrace myself and see myself for all the things I could potentially be (rather than all the things I'd never live up to) was cosplay. Becoming Appa made me believe I was confident enough to show off a costume I'd made without feeling like I wasn't able to embody the character. Training to become Rainbow Dash for PAX East taught me that I loved running. Creating my Dragon Age costume has been a celebration of getting my body to a place where I am believable as one of my favorite characters who I find incredibly empowering and badass. Each costume has helped me become more of who I am through taking on elements of other characters that I'm not sure I can live up to!
When I first started cosplaying, I was terrified because of the prevalence of this kind of behavior:
This week, I saw an article about a girl who posted a picture of herself portraying Lara Croft from Tomb Raider on Halloween. It was a character she loved and she went out with her friends on Halloween and took pictures like we all do. She posted the picture to facebook and as the internet is known to do, it got hold of the photo and it went viral with the caption "Fridge Raider." On the surface, even she found it funny, but what the internet did to the image ultimately went from trolls having their fun to viscous bullying and body shaming. People wrote responses telling her to kill herself. They weren't just having a casual giggle. They tore her APART.
It makes me want to cry because this girl is braver than I will EVER be. She was self assured and she wanted to be Lara Croft. She didn't care that she didn't have "the right" body type (something I still agonize about before each and every costume I make). She went out there and she enjoyed herself. Her reward? Ridicule from a pack of anonymous "dickwolves" who vilified her for having the audacity to go out with her friends and dress up for a night of fun on Halloween.
Cosplay should be fun for everyone. It's about using your crafting hobbies to express how much you love something. It's not about how hot you are or how many interviews you get (though that stuff certainly has it's place in the "pro-cosplay" world). For most people, cosplay is about being a part of something and finding other people who love that same thing.
That being said, that article made me want to point you guys in the direction of some ladies who are taking the world of cosplay by storm while rocking their curves and their craftsmanship. I want to celebrate them both for having the confidence I didn't have when I started this journey and for standing out from the crowd with their excellent designs and craft skills. Without further ado, here are my top 5 curvy cosplayers! Hopefully they will inspire you to get your feet wet no matter what size you are!
1. Darkspawnhorror
She has a bunch of pictures on tumblr of her work, but I came across her "Marian Hawke" cosplay when I was looking for some empowering photos of Dragon Age cosplay to help me get inspired to work on Tallis. She looks like she's having a blast in every photo and what's more, you can see she has an eye for detail. Check out her guantlet and all the leatherwork. With an attitude like that, I just have to believe she must have chosen every snarky remark for her playthrough of DA II.
2. Ivy Doomkitty
As an L.A. based cosplayer, Ivy rocks her curves in every costume from Star Trek to Elektra. I love her redesign of Dr. Doom. She's rocking the corset to create an amazing silhouette and it's a really creative repurposing of a male character for the female form. She rocks the sexy all the time and is probably more confident in her body than I will ever be! You can like her on Facebook to see more of her work.
3. Lady Annika "Magneto" Cosplay
What I like about Lady Annika is that she's short and she doesn't necessarily have the hourglass form that some of these other ladies have. Yet, there's something amazing about the creative way she redesigns male costumes for her body. My favorites are her Nightwing and her very recent Walking Deadpool. She makes really awesome armor and the SFX make-up on her Deadpool is great. Go like her on Facebook to check out more of her work.
4. Becky Young
Becky was on Heroes of Cosplay and while she's not as obviously curvy as some of the other ladies on this list, she admitted to struggling with her weight and being self conscious about looking good in her costumes while on the show. Watching her get cinched into her Merida costume and seeing her tough it out on the treadmill reminded me of all the other struggles that go on in the cosplay world OUTSIDE of simply making the costume. Her Pinkie Pie costume stood out to me long ago, even though I didn't know who she was at the time. She was just so bubbly and fun looking! If anypony is going to have a little meat on them, it would be the one who lives above the cake shop and loves to party! She embodied the character perfectly in every image I've seen. I also love that she is constantly working to improve her craftsmanship and I admire her the most out of all the ladies on that show. She was just the most "real" to me. I hope you'll check out her work on Facebook and give her some support, whether you were a fan of the show or not.
5. Bellechere
The QUEEN of CURVES is Bellechere. My. God. If you are not following her work on Facebook, then you should be! I would venture to say she's probably the most successful curvaceous cosplayer out there. She is a confident sexy craftswoman who loves taking on superheroes. Her Captain Marvel is epic. Her Power Girl is epic. Everything is flawless and just because she's curvy doesn't mean she's afraid to show her fair share of skin. Check out her Goblin Queen costume if you're wondering what I'm talking about. I adore her. I'm always excited to see what she's going to do next.
Those are my top five. There are probably more out there that I'm missing and I'd love to hear about them. If you know someone I missed, please feel free to add links to your favorites in the comments!
"A famous explorer once said that the extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are. I'd finally set out to make my mark, to find adventure. But instead adventure found me. In our darkest moments, when life flashes before us, we find something. Something that keeps us going. Something that pushes us. When all seemed lost, I found a truth. And I knew what I must become."
Since I grew up without gaming consoles, I missed out on the Lara Croft franchise as a girl. Over the past few years, however, I've had access to my boyfriend's Xbox 360, and with the help of my roommates I finally got to play the games whose trailers had enticed me earlier. Starting with Assassin's Creed II, I began to get the hang of using a console controller just in time for my friend's annual Halo LAN birthday party as well as the release of Skyrim, my one true gaming love.
Then I started hearing about the new Lara Croft game, and after seeing a promotional trailer on the Xbox home page, I was intrigued! I play video games largely for the story and the scenery, and like Skyrim, Yamatai looked like a great escape. After graduating from college I have far less time to play and am currently only about 75% way through the game, but I've been really enjoying it so far.
I know a number of people think that "new Lara" is too whiny or fragile, but I love her. In my opinion, it makes her that much more relatable. Wouldn't you freak out a little if someone was unloading a 50-caliber Gatling gun at you after you'd battled supernatural storms, seen your friend kidnapped by madmen, and fallen into a river of blood? Yeah, me too. Lara may be understandably upset, but you'll note that she never complains: she is still strong, capable, intelligent, and determined not only to survive, but to get her companions off of the island as well.
To me, the realism of her fear and vulnerability only makes her that much more heroic. As Mark Twain put it, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear." I'd like to think that I have fair odds of surviving, say, the zombie apocalypse (as long as I can maintain access to a steady supply of prescription contacts), but if I were Lara I'd still have spent the majority of this video game shaking at that first rainy campsite and questioning my life choices. I find her bravery and perseverance inspiring (and her acrobatic mountaineering gives us all something to strive for).
Anyway, Lara's my newest heroine, and though I've never cosplayed before, I'd really like to be a redheaded version of her for Halloween this year. I've got a few pieces (tank top, cargos, boots, bandages) and found an absolutely fantastic tutorial for making things like the gun holster, bow, quiver, axe, etc. Time for me to attempt some crafts and learn how to get dirty!
I know my first-ever cosplay attempt won't be anything as good as the professional example below, but it's great to have such awesome sources as inspiration while I start learning the ropes! For those of you like Anne with more cosplay experience, feel free to chime in if you have any tips!
She nailed it! Original source and cosplayer unknown (thanks tumblr) but credits are as follows: Photograph - Dim Horizon Studio; Makeup - Matt Silva; Costume and props - the-lady-nerd, Ana Aesthetic, Austin Sirkin (holster), Adam Greene, Carter Eastis, Kristen Anne; Hair - Gregory Dobrasz at Fresche Hair Salon & Boutique
Happy October, everyone! What are you going to be for Halloween?
I won't be spittin' nerdy health truths today. I'm actually going to be sharing some progress on my current cosplay project! I've been sharing it on the Project Reroll facebook fan page, so go like it if you want geeky updates on health, fitness, and my latest cosplay projects.
I never would have imagined that I would be creating an elf costume a year ago because I never would have thought I could pull one of the long, lithe creatures off. I'm in no way in perfect shape, but I'm close enough to my goal that I wanted to enjoy my new body and start to embody some of my favorite video game characters.
My favorite game series of all time is Dragon Age. I also loved Felicia Day's webseries "Dragon Age: Redemption" which focused on Tallis, an elf assassin serving the Qun. The costume was designed for the webseries by Greg Aranowitz and then Felicia and the costume were put into the game in the DLC Mark of the Assassin. He chronicled the whole process on his blog. She's a passionate, feisty, redheaded elf rogue with witty quips and flirtations galore. She was made for me! Plus, when I found out that Felicia was going to be attending NYCC, I figured it was the perfect kick in the pants to get started. Plus, maybe I can get her to sign a part of the costume! That would be pretty epic, I think!
Luckily they released a detailed picture of the costume pieces a while back so I've been using that, screen grabs of Felicia from the series, and screen caps from the game to create the costume. This is by far the most complicated thing I've ever attempted. The only things I'm not making from scratch are the leggings, the boots I put my boot covers over, my money purse, and the gloves. The main materials are some dark green wool/cashmere cloth for the hood and some details, leather cords, some fake leather for the boot covers, and a lot of worbla painted with gesso and acrylic paint. There are also a lot of sundry detail stuff like studs and rhinestones and grommets, etc. Everything is being hand sewn and/or hot glued.
To start out I had to make a mold. Correction, I had to get my friend Steven to wrap me in saran wrap and then carefully apply duct tape to create a mold of my body.
Then I used that to make my pattern and mold my worbla over it. Worbla is a thermoplastic substance that you can use a heat gun to shape. When it cools, it holds the shape. I had to make the back and front of the armor, the leg guards, the daggers, and the hand guards out of it.
Then I added the details like buckles for the straps and grommets for corset strings to be threaded through.
Then the long arduous process of gesso, sanding, and acrylic (making it look like green leather) began. My kingdom for an electric sander. I was more sore from that than I've been from push-ups in a LONG time.
Then came the leather work! This included some sewing and hot gluing. I'm pretty proud of the belt and the boot covers didn't come out half bad! I still need to so some dry brushing with light brown paint on the boots and the shoulder guards, which are still being broken in.
As I complete pieces, my house is turning into an armor wrack. I'm sort of fine with that!
There are still some details left to do and of course the hood, but as you can see, it's really coming together! I'll certainly need help getting in an out of it, but I'm totally on schedule to finish on time. For a while there I was so frustrated with simply molding the front of the chest plate and the back that I considered throwing in the towel and waiting to make this for PAX East this year, but after a while, I just went balls deep and got to work. I've had a lot of help from friends. Mainly Chris (who sold me his extra worbla), Steven who's helped with the mold, and my room mate Joey who's not only had to put up with a string of obscenities flowing from the living room as I burn myself, cut myself, chase the cat away from the gesso, and discover problems, but also helped out with a lot of operations that required more than two hands to pull off. It was also cool to get some support from the @dragonage twitter account when I first posted my progress photos!
Soon, I'll be given all of NYCC the full on Tallis, but for now, it's grocery shopping, my weekly Paleo cook-a-thon, and then back to my workshop to continue work on this costume (aka, my living room)! This has taken countless hours to pull off and will take more than a few more before I'm ready to premiere it October 11th. Focusing on this project has kept me away from snacks and totally focused on Whole30, partially because I don't have time for anything else and also because I want to look good! Obviously I fit this to my body mold EXACTLY. There's no room for weight gain here! That's like, trial by fire!
If there's anyone out there planning to attend NYCC, let me know! I'd love to meet up with any Slayers out there who want to chat! I'll be tweeting from the @projectreroll and @annerichmond twitter accounts while I'm there so come find me!
When you feel yourself slipping, the best way ahead is to make a plan. Then all you have to do is execute it. Now you're saying, "Yeah Anne, but executing is hard!" It is hard, but it's even harder if you're just flying by the seat of your pants.
So here's my plan for the next 6 weeks. I've been on vacation in England, enjoying the Ren Faire every few weekends, and attending conventions all summer. That's all fine, but I have fallen off the wagon when it comes to my health and its time to get back on it and get my bum in gear (and in squats) so that when the holidays hit, I'll be back in the habit again!
It's dangerous to go alone, I hear, so I'm teaming up with my friends Shannon and Steven for this adventure! We have some separate goals but are overlapping in a few areas. It will be nice to have two good friends to stay accountable with.
Goal 1: Fly, you fool! I have to get back to running 3x/week. I fell out of the habit on vacation and the few times I've tried since getting back... it's been terrible. I can blame it on the heat all I want, but I know the real issue is just that I've lost a lot of the stamina I built up. No more excuses. My running should be composed of one HIIT workout with sprints and 2 longer runs (35-40+ minutes) each week. They can be outside or inside on the treadmill.
Goal 2: They'll be back, and in stronger numbers. Strength training 2x/week. This will all be bodyweight based and done through yoga or circuits. Idealy I'd do this more than twice a week, but I'm not going to pressure myself to workout more than 5x total a week right now. It's more important that I get back to regularity than to overpressure myself.
Goal 3: Whole 30. I'm going to be detoxing all my bad decisions with this month long program. I was inspired by Mike's juice fast and I think this will be a great way to kickstart my Paleo routine again whilst cleansing my system. Shannon and Steven are joining me on this adventure and it will include opportunities for us to all get together and cook new things. My alternate reason for committing to a Whole 30 is because NYCC is coming up in 3 weeks and I want to be at my best for my Dragon Age cosplay. You can follow along with construction on Facebook if you're interested!
Goal 4: Let's Put on a Show! My career (as far as the arts are concerned) has been totally destroyed by this transformation process. That seems like an extreme statement, but because my body has changed so much, nothing that's on my resume or that has been made for my reel is helpful because I'd never be hired for those roles anymore. It's like everything I built doesn't matter towards building my life into what I want it to be. That's always been the thing I DID have under control while my weight and health suffered. Now it's the other way around. I've been struggling a lot to figure out how exactly I'll turn this around and stop the self loathing/frustration cycle. I suppose the best cure is to get myself back to work and make new things. Shannon asked if I wanted to do a concert with her and another friend and I think it's the perfect opportunity to get my feet back into the water. We know that the concert will be in January, so it will take more than six weeks to finish the goal completely, but there are specific steps we're planning to take in the next six weeks. They are:
Set a date
Meet 1/week for a "state of the union"
Secure accompanist/ music director
Secure filmographer (so that I can get some new reel material)
Make a budget and plan
Save $25 a week towards the cost of producing the show
So those are my goals for the next six weeks starting TODAY! It's a little scary but I'm excited to be playing this game co-op with some fellow geeks! Do you have a plan you're trying to execute? Why not share it in the comments so we can all show our support!
Hello slayers! I've finally returned from three weeks of adventures across the pond in England and while it was wonderful and I gave myself a vacation pass to eat what I wanted, it's time to get back to reality, not to mention the gym and the kitchen!
But! Not without a pit stop at ye olde New York Renaissance Faire! This a yearly tradition and last year I was 20 lbs down from my initial weight when I attended. While I was there I really did my best to eat healthy and stuck to fruit and cheese. I didn't really partake in faire treats and all I've dreamed of is to have a day, now that I'm confident in my ability to return to my plan afterwards, where I could really enjoy some of the things I used to AND, of course, upgrade my faire garb. I've lost 100 lbs and last year, my garb was laced all the way. I'm swimming in it now!
Like everything, it's important to have a plan. I planned on two meals, since I was staying late to see my best friend Emily (the Harley to my Ivy!), who is performing the role of Maid Marian this year, after the faire was done. I knew off the bat that this would not be a paleo day, but that I didn't want to spend a huge amount of money on random food grazing. I decided I would have two drinks and one desert. I had my eye on the pulled pork BBQ sandwich because that's what I've lusted after since last year, but found once I got there that it just seemed like way too much for me. I was really on the go because I wanted to be able to mosey around and catch all of Emily's scenes, not to mention attend to my garb needs. I ended up choosing a chicken sandwich with lettuce and tomato for lunch. By dinner, I was exhausted and hot and when I looked at the pub menu, the only thing that spoke to me was a caesar salad. Most healthy salad? No. But it wasn't a burger or chicken tenders with fries, so a healthy huzzah was raised!
For my drinks I had an apple cider and half of the shire's equivalent of a mocha frappuccino. For my treat, I shared a slice of cheesecake on a stick with my boyfriend. All of it was delicious and I really only ate when I was hungry or needed a refresher. Am I saying it was the healthiest day of my life? No, but I am fascinated that when faced with the ability to eat whatever I wanted, I shared a lot of stuff that was rich and I made better choices than I'd planned for.
One of the first things I did was spend an exorbitant sum of money on new garb. Just to give you an idea, over the years I've spent about 500+ on building my Ren Faire costume. I budgeted all year for a similar expenditure so that I wouldn't bankrupt myself when the time came. Just like planning for food, I had a plan for garb. Last year, a friend of mine linked me a Son of Sandlar piece called "the huntress." While expensive, it was beautiful and everything I've ever dreamed of when it came to embodying my favorite fantasy archetype, an elf rogue. I played one in WoW and I almost always gravitate towards playing rogues in table top games. As far as my own physicality, I could never pull off a rogue costume before because elves are generally more lithe than I was and certainly at my weight, I wasn't going to look like I belonged on the field of battle. The first time someone told me I had elfin features during this weight loss journey, I squeed. It was time to enter the fray at long last and after a year of saving, I was finally able to put together an elf rogue costume.
I bought some cheap boots ($30 on sale at some hole in the wall shop in Greenwich Village) and I used my pixie top from Moresca. I had that from my old garb and the size didn't really matter because it was just going to go under a bodice. I had a dagger from a previous visit to the fair and my father bought me a dagger in Tintagel on our visit to England. Dual wielding FTW! The skirt was bought at Urban Outfitters when I was trying to lose weight in college. All that I needed to buy at the faire was "the huntress" and some elf ears.
As soon as I got fit for the bodice, I felt amazing! It was a dream come true! It has a hood and beautiful gold lining and it went really well with my woodland elf circlet from my former costume. The quality and craftsmanship are evident and the leather is treated so that it can get wet. I got to test it out because there was some light drizzling this year. I just put up my hood like a BA! Emily, ahem, Maid Marian swung by the booth to celebrate. After lunch, I got my elf ears custom painted for me and before I knew it, I was a living legend! My boyfriend was kind enough to indulge me in a short woodland photoshoot and we captured a few great images so I got to really commemorate the ocassion in an ideal setting (aka, not in front of my mirror at home with a mess strewn about the floor behind me).
The whole day I walked taller (maybe just in my head because I'm only 5 feet tall in reality...). I was transported by my costuming efforts, and of course by the performances of the talented actors who populate the village of Sterling. I was so proud of Emily for realizing her dream of working at the faire. She was wonderful and I know she is enjoying the hell out of the whole experience. She lights up the shire every weekend, so if you haven't made the journey out to Tuxedo, DO IT NOW. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to perform alongside these fine folks! The sky's the limit.
My life is so different now. It doesn't mean that I can't enjoy some great food from time to time or take a day off from the gym to get to the ren faire for the opening ceremonies, but it means that I tend to make very different choices most of the time and I don't feel like I HAVE to make them. I actively want to. Seeing my fantasies realized made me aware that anything is within my grasp. I never would have thought his transformation would have been possible a year ago. I know that's corny but I didn't know if I'd be able to keep up my restrictive and exhausting health regime. It felt like prison. Now, I really want to make the better choices. Perhaps it's weird to most people who want to look better for their wedding or for work, but the days when I get to live out my fantasies at the faire or show off a cosplay with confidence at a convention are a huge part of why I'm motivated to keep working on this change. I don't care that some people think it's weird as hell or a waste of money and time. It's what makes me happy and if it's what makes me healthy, that's all to the benefit!
So what motivates you, slayers? I'd love to hear about your milestones and the things that keep your head in the game whether it's just being able to fit into your favorite pair of jeans, or making your own set of N7 armor. Please share your thoughts in the comments!
