Project Reroll's Holiday Wishlist

It's that time of year folks! Here are 10 Holiday Gift Ideas for Slayers!

1. Meat Thermometer: Even if you're not eating Paleo, protein is power. Delicious protein that's cooked properly will only make you want to make and eat more. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
2. Food Processor: You can get your feet wet with more complicated recipes that keep things interesting. You can also use this to make Paleo treats to get you through the hard times without breaking your diet rhythm.
3. Sewing Machine: When it comes to cosplay, this is an eventual must buy for everyone! This is certainly on my list after doing hand sewing on four different costumes. Time is of the essence when it comes to your hobbies and I definitely don't want to craft at the expense of crunches! Here is a great pinterest page of sewing machines that my friend Angela from The Anomaly Podcast put together to help me choose my first one!
4. Fitbit or other Distance/Pedometer/Calorie Monitor: Monitoring everything is a real key to learning what your specific body and lifestyle needs for success. Everyone is different and if you don't start tracking your calories in/calories out and general activity level, you may not know how to make the changes you need!
5. A great set of non-stick pans: If you're going to make cooking a major staple of your life, you'll want to make sure you set yourself up for success! It's definitely an investment, but you'll be loving yourself when you have all the equipment you need to make a variety of dishes in the kitchen with minimum effort for cleanup. 
6. Netflix Subscription: All geeks love binge watching their favorite show. The best part about netflix is that it will keep track of where you are in each series and you can load it on to mobile devices and take them to the gym with you. I have whole series that I've only watched on the elliptical machine and treadmills. It's a great motivator when you make a contract with yourself that you'll only watch reruns at the gym!
7. Gym Membership: This is one of those things that we all complain that we can't afford. Using up my bday present to ask for a gym membership last year was the best thing I ever did. Now I do most of my working out on my own, but having a place to go and resources to pull from is incredible in the beginning. Plus, most gyms will offer classes so you can easily mix it up or try something new!
8. Etsy: Supporting fellow crafty slayers is awesome. You'll find unique gifts that help people show their fandoms in ways that can't be mass produced. You'll find outerwear, ornamets, jewelry, and all sorts of nick nacks. Seriously. It's your friend. 
9. Nerd Fitness Books: These guides are incredible and written for people like you and me. There are a lot of tips for working out outside of the gym and of course advice on diet and getting your feat wet in running, lifting, and much more. I really couldn't recommend supporting Nerd Fitness more! 
10. Geeky Gym Attire: Wearing my geeky Teefury t's and my Mockingjay pin to the gym gives me the extra push I need to work out like the badass I want to be rather than the lazy wimp I sometimes feel like. I love to keep my connection between my fandoms and my fitness going throughout my day to day life because it reinforces the idea that these things are no longer separate. Plus, imagining you're a tribute and your life is going to be on the line is a huge motivator! You can always check out the Project Reroll store for t-shirts, waterbottles, and more! #shamelessplug

So Happy Holidays, Slayers! Thanks for reading and for all you've done to support me and my guest bloggers this year! If you have any things you think people should have on their wishlists, then add them in the comments! What are you asking Chthulu- I mean Santa- for this year?

Call to Arms: Childhood Obesity Amongst Geeks

I'm putting out a call to arms. This country has a real obesity problem and it starts with our kids. I feel like our wee nerdlettes have it even worse because society expects them to grow up in their mom's basement, stuffing themselves with Doritos and pizza and not contributing to society beyond fighting over the conclusion of Battlestar Galactica on web forums. 

I'm not a nutritionist and I'm not a physician, but I am one of those former-fat-kid-dreamers who is fighting her way to a healthier adulthood without rejecting her fandom or blaming it. I don't think loving comics, scifi, and fantasy is an obesity death sentence like some people do. Geeks are naturally obsessive so if they can obsess about what inspires them, they tend to be more unstoppable than ANY other section of society. At least, that's my opinion and I am terribly biased! I've said this many times on this blog but I had one major mental shift that helped me want change, rather than being told I needed to make it. 

I don't want to watch heroes. I want to be the hero in the epic tale of my life. 

Kids these days are so detached from what they do and what they eat. Some don't even know what fresh food is or where it comes from. 

Heroes are people they admire in TV shows or movies or they play them as avatars in video games. Sure, they want to be like Thor, train Pokemon like Ash, or adorably parkour around obstacles like Rapunzel from Tangled, but what if that went beyond simply playing dress-up or appeasing their interest with more content featuring those characters. What if we could get them in touch with what those characters actually do and stand for so that they can put those things into action in their own lives. 

What if we could show them what Chris Hemsworth does to train for Thor and helped them learn how to do a popper sit-up or push-up? What if we took them to a beginner parkour class so they could pull Assassin's Creed stunts? What if we encourage them to build an adventurer's heart like The Doctor! What if we got them into water bending by doing tai chi in the mornings? What if we taught them to cook food that looks like it came out of a Ghibli film so that they could grow up with the power to feed their health rather than their impulses? 

It's gotta be possible. We should be leading the way for the next generation. I don't have kids but I've spent some time as a mentor and as a camp counselor and I'm pretty passionate about being a good influence on our youth. I want to start taking Project Reroll into that realm. If have any readers with kids, younger siblings, or even people they babysit up to 17 years old, I'd like to issue my first "Mini Slayer" challenge.

The Mini Slayer Halloween Challenge

This week is Halloween, incidentally one of my favorite holidays because we get to ask ourselves what and who we want to be! It's incredibly empowering! 

• The first step is to take a picture of the kid participating in the challenge in their Halloween costume and have them write a sentence about why they chose be that thing/person. 
• Then, for just one week following Halloween (Friday to Friday), you and the young slayer participating will agree to do three active adventures based on the theme of their costume. This could be going for nature walks if they were Poison Ivy or finding your center with some Yoga Jedi training. Get creative! Make it something they're excited about!
• The second part of the challenge deals with diet. Aside from one piece of candy a day, you will agree to make every meal using fresh, non processed food and that you will eat at least one serving of vegetables and one serving of fruit each day. You do not have to eat Paleo, but ideally this whole plan will force you to spend a little time talking about food and cooking together each day.
• At the end, I'd love to hear about some of the meals you made and see pictures from the activities you did so I can share them here, on our Facebook page and on Twitter. There's no scale or measurements involved here. It's just about using fantasy to inspire and integrate active and healthier experiences into a kid's life for one week. 

Please send all photos and descriptions of your experiences to contactprojectreroll@gmail.com and leave a comment here if you're planning to participate so I can be on the look out for submissions! Best of luck Slayers! I choose you!

Time to Turn a Critical Failure Into a Nat 20

I'm ready for this journey. I know it will be hard and long (that's what she said... Hehe...), but it NEEDS to happen! How to make it happen? That's another story. Clearly nothing I've tried so far has worked, so I'm taking a different approach. 

First of all, I started Nutrisystem at the beginning of June. It's supposed to be very good for teaching portion control and balanced diets as well as encouraging many smaller meals/snacks throughout the day. Apparently that's great for your metabolism. So far it's gone really well and the weightloss from just following the new meal plan has been very motivating. 

Rather than focus on a final goal, I'm going to create mini milestone goals as I go so that the overachiever in me does not completely lose her shit.

My first goal is to lose 20 lbs by the August 26th because that's when I'm going to  the Renaissance Fair here in NY. It's a huge occasion for me and my friends every year and it's especially fun because we go in costume. Last year I bought my very own Ren Fair garb and although I felt amazing and full of fantasy and fun in it last year, I would really like to see a positive change in my physical appearance this year. I've already lost nearly 15 lbs so reaching my goal is certainly not out of the question, but I just have to stay on target. Here's a picture of me from last year! Hopefully this year I'll look EVEN MORE super fabulous!

My next goal is to lose 30 lbs by October 11th, which will mark my first cosplay experience at New York Comic Con (yet another geeky staple of my social calendar). I've always wanted to go in costume, but I have this crazy fear of being labeled the "fat version" of a beloved character or having people post hateful meme pictures of me on the internet and mocking me for all time. I know I shouldn't worry about that stuff. The internet is the internet and that will never change, but that's why I chose Appa, from Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm doing an anthropomorphic version of this character (a giant flying sky bison). Yes, I'd like to do a human character, but until I have enough confidence in my appearance, I'm happy portraying this large fluffy character. Hopefully I'll be looking a little more svelte by then so I can really do majestic Appa justice. :)

I've been going to the gym every day for the past week and steadily improving my endurance. I even started doing weight training which is fairly new to me. As much as I hate being a sweaty ugly beast on the elliptical, I power through it by watching episodes of Firefly. I'll probably move on to Avatar when I finish that show so that I can get in the mood for my cosplay. I am also paying a lot more attention to stretching after every work out and returning to some of the yoga training I did in college. I actually LOVE that feeling I get when I finish and roll up my spine and just breath. I remember in movement class when we'd do this at the end of our warm-up, the teacher would say, "Don't adjust yourself. Don't look at yourself in the mirror. Just stand tall and accept everything in this moment. Just breath." I always hear that in my head when I finish and as corny as it is, it really helps me accept my progress every day.

As an actor, I can really feel the changes in my work. I'm just more connected with my body than I've been in a long time and right now I'm getting a chance to see that in my performance in A Midsummer Night's Dream which opens on Tuesday. I'm hoping to break many legs and give a fully embodied performance of Bottom, which is my first lead role in a while.

Sometimes I hate what I see in the mirror or I wish the whole process would just be over with. I'm a bit of an over achiever and I've struggled with anorexia and bulimia before so it's hard to accept the healthy rate of 1-2 lbs per week. No matter what I do, I seem to see a whale in the mirror.

I need to preface this next part by saying that my parents would do ANYTHING to support me and see me succeed and find joy in life. I love them and I wouldn't be able to afford my subscription to Nutrisystem or gym membership without them. That said, this next part of my story involves coming clean about what was said to me when I was younger about my weight and how the comments that were made affected me. The only reason I'm sharing this is because I now have a WONDERFULLY close relationship with them now and I know so many people who have struggled with weight from a young age will relate and learn from the scars that made me the way I am today. My mom and dad have always been worried about my health (and with good reason), but sometimes when I was younger it felt like an attack. These "concerns" and "attacks" made me hate myself- not that it was the only thing but every time my weight was mentioned I felt abnormal. I felt ugly and inadequate and like I'd never be good enough to be fully loved. I realize that a lot of this had more to do with me than it did to do with them. They were just looking out for me and they were understandably desperate to save me from following the path I ended up taking. Sometimes hurtful or insulting things were said to me were said in desperation and frustration and even though they weren't always kind, they were said because they loved me. One that stayed with me was "you're so overweight I don't know what to do with myself." Even now, on a bad day I can hear that sentence in my head and it fills me with shame.

My dad is a caterer and an amazing chef but he definitely tried to feed the family healthy food. We didn't visit fast food joints and we didn't keep a ton of sweets in the house. When I felt depressed, I would find ways to binge eat- either out with my friends or on my own. I would go and buy tons of candy bars or a carton of ice cream and drown my sorrows in CRAZY amounts of junk food. I'm totally ashamed of it, but I know I'm not alone. There are so many people who do this in order to cope with depression or stress. Looking back at pictures that were taken back in middle school, I really couldn't have been more than 10-15 lbs overweight at the time, but I let all of the more abusive feedback I was getting from my family and the pressure of going through puberty put all sorts of demons in my head. Really, I was a beautiful child who lived an active lifestyle. I played soccer and did figure skating and enjoyed the outdoors as well. Sometimes it makes me furious to realize that succumbing to those small insipid comments began my journey of self loathing and abuse that led me to anorexia, bullemia, and binge eating that lasted 12 years and packed on over 100 pounds.

 That being said, our country CLEARLY has to work on how we deal with childhood obesity. It's an undeniable epidemic. When I look back on my relationship with food and with my weight, I wonder how I would have handled it if I were the parent. It seems like an impossible task- you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't! How do you let a child know they need to be healthier without making them feel like a failure. How do you motivate them when places like the gym are intimidating and make them feel like a "special case" since no one else their age has to go there?

Anyways, the short and long is that it's still nearly impossible for me to recognize progress purely from looking in the mirror because of my rampant negative self image. I'm hardwired to see my inadequacies. So when I get down on myself, I have started to ask one question. "Have I done everything I can to live healthily today." If the answer is yes, then I try to move on and stop harping on myself about it. If it's no, then try my best to think of something healthy I can ACTIVELY do before the day is out, and most importantly, I commit to doing it.

There's only one problem at the gym. This trainer named Heather keeps approaching me about personal training whenever she sees me working out. I can't help but feel that she wouldn't have approached me if I weren't so overweight. I don't see her walking up to anyone else. I suppose I'm just one of those people who really hates anyone TALKING to me when I work out, but more than that I hate being solicited. I know that Heather's heart is in the right place. She probably really WANTS to help me, but I just can't stand that she continues to approach me and ask me to do certain exercises for her. I took her card to be polite. I don't know. Am I over reacting? I've gotten to the point where I dread going to the gym sometimes because I don't want her to hunt me Hunger Games style.