Bill Lowe: The Pillow

It was just two days, but I really did have a great time with these guys. It's weird how you can come together for a project and just get on with people you've never really met before. There were times where we even got on too well and had to be chastened mildly so we could get our work done. But! For a few days, we made zee magics for the camera and we had a lot of laughs and that was just raw fun. 

Basically, my whole role takes place around the D&D table. Some of us had scripted in game characters. I was Sam-Dumb, the Barbarian, whom I decided was a gnome. While we were waiting for shots to get set up, some of us actually filled out our character sheets. You can have a look at mine here. It contains gems such as "Maximum Hit Points: Infinity" and "Flaws: Hybris... NONE." 

We obviously weren't looking to create characters by the rules, but the jokes on everyone's sheets were genius and I'm only sad that they never really get featured. We'll just chalk it all up to our very rich character development rituals. My personal favorites for other people included:

• Alignment: Bi
• Alignment: Pilates
• Languages: Horse Whispering and Horse Yelling. 
• A caster's health points: 180

I seriously should have take more pictures of our stuff. It was great. 

One of the great privileges of working on this was getting just be an actor. Often times on webseries sets, you have multiple jobs. Frankly, at the Renaissance Faire we all chipped in when and where we could to get the whole job done. That was definitely the case for other people on this set, but I really just had to show up, get dressed in my costume, have my make and hair done, do some line throughs, and get the scenes shot relatively unscathed. I say relatively because for some reason after we punch in to my close ups, I always have a tendency to somehow FORGET my lines. How silly is that? It was just really nice to be able to focus on character and exploration and being present when the cameras got rolling while not trying to do a million other things at the same time, which I always seem to be doing on my other projects. It was so refreshing and such a gift to get to focus on what I enjoy doing most for the last few days and it was just a nice bonus that the other people on set, both cast and crew, were so much fun. Plus, on my second day, our Costume Designer, Elise VanderKley, gave me Princess Leia buns. MY WILDEST ON CAMERA DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. I can die happy now. 

So please take a moment to visit the Bill Lowe (the pillow) Facebook page. You can watch the season one videos on YouTube and follow the show on Twitter to keep abreast of all Pillow type uploads and news. I'm sure there will be more as they ramp up to release season two! I'll certainly be linking my episodes here and on my Facebook page (which you should Like on the side bar here because I link a lot of cool stuff there guys!). 

I did not manage to eat any better today, so I just got it out of my system and had the ice cream I've been craving on my way home. Bah. Tomorrow will be a better day and a day to get on track once more. The good thing is that I have a lot already cooked, so I don't have to really try very hard. 

Mixed Berry Juice

Banana

Green Tea with Honey

Corn Chips & Hummus

Organic Apple Cider

Pizza

Icecream

Cosplay, Japan, and Sad Chocolate

Day 6 Food Log

Mango orange banana smoothie

Tea with stevia and almond milk

Dried Mango

Salmon

Cauliflower

Sweet potato

Chicken onions, and mushrooms

Salad with EVOO and Balsamic Vinegar

90% Dark Chocolate Square

I decided to bust into my 90% dark chocolate. I ate a square and it tasted like dirt. I remember LOVING it before. I guess I have a bit longer for that super sensitive palette to kick in again. SAD ANNE IS SAD.

However, Sad Anne is not going to be so sad in April when she journeys to Japan with some of her closest friends! Guys, I'm so excited about this trip. I've always wanted to go and this group is "The A Team." We have a smattering of Japanese between us and my friend's Emily and Chris have been there before so they're going to take the reins. I'm so unbelievably excited to experience this adventure. I'm hoping it will be a bit palette cleansing and of course it gives me a damn good reason to stick to my Paleo guns in the mean time so I can really enjoy taking all of our pictures. Emily and I might do an apprentice Geisha photo shoot in Kyoto, which would be amazing because we're definitely going to be there during cherry blossom season. Most of our time will be spent in Tokyo and Kyoto, so if you have day trip ideas for the surrounding towns, please let me know since we're trying to plan and make reservations. I need all the help and suggestions I can get!

In other news, I've been thinking about whatI should do for my next cosplay and I'm torn between Boussh/Leia and the Kotobukiya Mara Jade. I'm leaning towards Leia since I love her so much and no one ever does that ensemble, but Mara Jade is my favorite EU character. Whatever I do, I need to do the project justice so leave your ideas in the comments!

Jedi Fuel Pumpkin Smoothies

http://www.deviantart.com/artisan/culinary/pumpkin/?view_mode=2&order=15&q=game+of+thrones

Winter is coming, and 'tis the season of all things Pumpkin Spice. Sadly, almost everything that calls my name is terrible for me. If I'm choosing to spend so much time building themed teams in Pokemon X, then I can't be simultaneously stuffing my face with everything that suits my fancy.

Geek Nation

I'm convinced that there are Sith Lords out there with knowledge of all of my worst seasonal weaknesses. Between Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks, Pumpkin Smash smoothies at Jamba Juice, and an array of pumpkin flavored pastries at Dunkin' Donuts it's temptation city.  So I put out the call on twitter and facebook for Paleo Pumpkin recipes. Boy did I get a ton of great stuff back! My friend Michelle linked me a recipe for Raw Pumpkin Balls, which I haven't gotten a chance to try yet but I can only believe it's like Halloween exploding in your mouth based on the ingredient list. However it was my "Jedi Sister" Emily who blew it out of the park with a Paleo replacement for that Pumpkin Smash smoothie I've been  hankering for. 

Emily and I spent our youths looking at the sky and imagining our adventures among the stars as Jedi Knights. When we met at soccer practice and admitted our love of Han Solo, it was BFF central. We even saved all our money so we could go to Space Camp and buried a Jedi time capsule in my back yard with all of our childhood secrets. 

Emily is a powerful role model. Not only is she a thoughtful, empathetic, intelligent person, but she is determined to meet every challenge she faces head on. I remember when she got into the Naval Academy, she started doing athletic training at home in Chicago so that she would be ready. No one else I knew at that age was attempting something like that. Add to her list of accomplishments living abroad in Japan to serve in the navy, starting grad school, and spending her free time training for half marathons. Seriously, is there anything she can't do? Apparently not because I tried this recipe and its amazing. I made a few tiny adjustments, but we wouldn't be Jedi Sisters if we didn't collaborate on our missions! Try it out and let me know what you think!

Jedi Fuel Pumpkin Smoothie

• Ingredients
• 2/3 cup of almond milk
• 1/3 cup of organic pure pumpkin (canned is fine, but read the label to make sure no sugar or chemicals are added)
• 1 cup frozen organic pure pumpkin (same as above)
• 1 tbs extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg

1. The day before you intend to make your smoothie, put one cup of canned pumpkin in the freezer. Make sure it's chopped up a bit so that you can use it in place of ice. Make sure you put it in a freezer safe plastic bag.
2. Add all the ingredients to your blender. Make sure your "ice chip" pumpkin pieces are broken up. 
3. Blend till smooth. 
4. Drink in your Jedi Fuel, confident in your delicious yet healthy Light Side diet choice. 

If you have other pumpkin recipes you'd like to share, please feel free to add them in the comments! On a slightly separate note, while I was at New York Comic Con, I chatted with some industry folks about what it would take to self publish a Project Reroll Paleo cookbook. Would that be something you Slayers would be interested in? 

Motivated Monday: September Goals Check-In

Hey Slayers, it's Simone again! Sorry for the delay from my normal Friday post; I left work early with one of my rare migraine+aura combos, and while I'm lucky that my migraines are incredibly infrequent and far less severe than many, they're still not very conducive to writing, thinking, or really doing anything other than taking a nap. However, I'm rested up and back from a productive weekend, so let's dive in!

My September goals are going fairly well overall, though certainly far from perfect. (How does the quote go? "No plan survives initial contact"?) As far as tracking my spending goes, I have diligently kept up my check register in addition to checking in on my budget on Mint.com. Hooray! The snags: My part-time job is at an outdoor retailer with insanely good deals for its employees; I just ordered a brand-new $200 winter jacket for $40. I mean, with a deal that obscenely good, how can you not? (I think I spend more money at that job than I actually earn....) And, living in a northern state, you can never have too much cold weather gear. You remember the Stark words, yes?

Where I live, this meme will never die.

Because fully half of my fun/miscellaneous budget was eaten up by my contribution to our garage's new C2 "Imperial" rower (cue Darth Vader theme), I'm making a few allowances to stretch that this month since technically we bought it in August. Next month I'll have to be extra diligent, though, since our kung fu instructors' weekend retreat is coming up around Halloween, and my paycheck will be a bit slimmer since I had to go home early on Friday with that migraine. Oh, do I dream of a day where I'll have paid time off!

If you've ever rowed for part of your workout, you know that they really do belong to the Dark Side.

I am now firmly in the midst of my Zone kitchen experiment as well. It's tough to balance all the macronutrients (carbohydrates, proteins, and fats) at each meal! I had a successful weekend of meal planning and food preparation this weekend, though, so I'm excited to see how this week goes now that I have a better idea of what to expect.

It's easy to get discouraged when you're handling normal life stresses (job satisfaction, daily commute, messy house, busy calendar...) and trying to work towards a healthier lifestyle on top of that. Being a recent grad, I've definitely been dealing with some grass-is-greener moods myself. After 5 years, I couldn't wait to graduate and have a steady paycheck. Now I do, but it's still a temporary position (cue stress!), and the 19-mile work commute downtown takes longer than my previous 45-mile commute to school. Gotta love that downtown traffic! I guess I was naive last year at this time, in the midst of battling with my thesis, to think that my life would be less stressful without homework; these paychecks are only bringing me closer to student loan bills and "Wait, this isn't what I want to do with my life" concerns.

Anyway, all we can do is continue to take small steps towards where we'd like to be, and remember to appreciate the things we do have now. For the past few weeks, I've been posting quotes I enjoy each Monday on Twitter with the hashtag #MotivatedMondays to try to start the week off strong. And though my Asian Studies degree no longer reflects my desired career path, it did supply me with a wealth of philosophical Chinese quotes. Here's one for today:

"It does not matter how slow you go -- so long as you do not stop." 

~Confucius

-Simone

America the Hutt

I remember feeling like I was SO GROSS when in middle school. I was fat and unpopular. Boys in my class didn't ask me to dance at sock hops. My parents were concerned about my health and they were constantly trying to do things to get me to diet or workout. Naturally I resisted their attempts. What child wants to be told they're overweight? What pubescent girl wants to think she's the fattest/ugliest girl in her class? I didn't want to be different from the other kids who didn't belong to a gym or spend time working out after school. I wanted to go to MacDonald's after soccer practice and eat fries and a shake like everyone else. 

This is the way I remember myself.

I've spent a lot of time recounting my "success" story to people who are curious about how I got to my "rock bottom" moment (Recently I was lucky enough to share it with the awesome community at Nerd Fitness. If you haven't had a chance to check it out, give it a look-see!). Often, I start by saying that I was fat from a very young age and that I was incredibly self conscious about it. Although I participated in things like soccer and figure skating, I was never as good as the other kids. Physicality was never my strong suit. I hated my appearance and when I started to get interested in boys, I faced a string of rejections. So much of what happened during my formative elementary and middle school years contributed to my attitude towards nutrition and fitness, not to mention my self esteem. It was the bedrock upon which residency at Jabba's palace was built.

Recently, a friend posted a picture of us from middle school on Facebook. Prepare yourself to behold the behemoth female hutt, the gargantuan fatass of yesteryear. BEHOLD HER!

WHAT?!

Ok, so given the lead-up, I'm guessing you're as shocked as I was. I look like a totally normal in this picture. Curvy and Teva-clad sure, but unhealthy? No! Yet, in my head, I thought I was a troll. I was convinced I had a huge problem. 

The fact is, I might not have been working out the way I am now, but I was involved in plenty of physical activity at school and in after school sports. I rollerbladed to school a lot! I rode my bike on the weekend. The reason I couldn't keep up with kids on my soccer team was because I played with kids who went on to get soccer scholarships and play on all state teams. I was AVERAGE in terms of skill, but I was active. I just felt bad about my performance because most of my friends excelled insanely at physical stuff.

Even though I wasn't as unhealthy as I perceived myself at the time, I still developed into an unhealthy adult. I was broken just like so many obese children are today.

I'm pretty sure my parents' constant concern about staying active and eating healthy, as well as their rigid rules about what kind of foods we all ate when we were together at home, contributed to my need to act out and eat fast food, binge on ice cream, and hide candy bars in my room. I'm sure the huge gap in skill level between my friends on the soccer team and myself had a lot to do with feeling like there was no point in applying myself to getting better. 

Then again, I'm not sure how it could have been done differently. Maybe my parents pushed too hard, but if they hadn't pushed at all, then where would I have been? It's just as likely that I might have gone down the same path to the Dark Side. If they hadn't instilled in me a "no quitting" attitude, I probably would have dropped out of all my sports after they lost the glow of "newness" and I was faced with the fact that I just wasn't very good at them.  

For about two months I've been meaning to write about how I feel about childhood obesity and its relationship to parenting, but I haven't because I'm not sure I have anything useful to add to the dialogue. It's a huge problem in this country. We are 100% failing our youth in a huge way. I don't think the answer is telling them they can't ever have any cookies or candy, but at the same time I don't think we should continue to let people stay as ignorant of the content of their food and the processes it goes through before it gets to the table. I wrote a post a while ago about how much I love the fact that NYC restaurants are required to post calorie counts on their menus. Sure, not all calories are created equal, but seeing that number does help me make better choices from time to time, even when it comes to treats. There are parts of the country that don't do that. Hell, there are parts of the country that practically build shrines to butter (mmm butter). We think that's normal! If you ask the countries in the world who don't have this same issue, you'll find that it's not.

My friend Dani just visited me from Brazil. She said she was shocked by our portion sizes and by the fact that everything comes fried and with some sort of starch. I started to notice that too when I first started Nutrisystem and now that I order Paleo when I'm out, it takes a lot of effort to sort of rewrite the menu. Most of the time I overpay for what I get because it costs more to replace fries with something healthier or I have to remove so many elements from my meal that I end up with a tiny portion.  It costs more money and it takes more effort to eat right- even though I'd wager it's totally worth it.

America builds it's foods to make us fat by habit. Sandwiches come with fries naturally. On menus, you hardly ever see "Choose your sandwich and one side." They just assume you want to put fries in your face (and it's a fairly good assumption... cause they are delicious devil food). There are places that list potato salad  and pasta salad as vegetables. You can see why our youth is confused. We're hardly helping them. 

Changing our national habits seems like a huge challenge. I'm not sure where to start, but I know we have to do something. I've spent the last few months asking parents I know about how they approach health in their own homes. There doesn't seem to be a formula from success. Some had kids who more naturally adapted to healthy lifestyles even though they did nothing special to encourage them and others have kids who continually struggle in adulthood despite having a childhood where every meal was planned.

I haven't written about what I think we should do to assuage our obesity problems in this country because I only know what works for me. My friends have gotten healthier and I've gotten healthier, but we've all done it in completely different ways. Weight Watchers, Keto, Paleo- you name it! We've all found something that spoke to us and that we could do for long enough to see results. I guess the only thing I can definitively say is that we have to somehow figure out how to heal apathy when it comes to health. Gorging ourselves and eating the "wrong" things has become so normalized in our country that it's the healthy choices that seem to exist on the fringe. If someone works out every morning before work, that person "must be crazy." If someone orders a salad at lunch with friends, we all say, "Oh you're so good." Those things should be fairly normal in a healthy country- but for us, they're not because we've poisoned our collective national mind but making unhealthy treats the "norm."

We have to figure out how to make people care, but so many people don't- or they just care more about pizza than they do about not getting diabetes. Plus, the more normal these obesity-caused-ailments become, the more our kids accept them as a natural part of life. The whole reason my "transformation" has been maintained so far is because I've directly linked health to the things I enjoy in my life. I run... from zombies. I do HIIT workouts... watching Xena. I lose weight... to cosplay. You get the point.

If you're one of those people (and I know they're out there because I used to be one) who feels like they have tried to lose weight, but they've just failed time after time, then find something you love that's directly affected in a negative way by your weight and think about how much more fulfilling your life would be if you could participate in it. It might be different for everyone, but becoming personally invested in getting a better a life might be the key. Yeah it's more work than some simple answer that would solve our country's weight problems, but I'm not sure that even exists.

If a kid loves sports, then great! Tell them how much better they'll perform if they fuel their body properly. If they love video games or action movies, encourage their interests and show them what it takes to get big and strong (like this 300 workout used by the actors to prep for the film). If they hate working out, but they love to cook, teach them about food! Let them take a cooking class that specializes in nutritious dishes so that they can learn a skill that will help them their whole life. Start small and they may see the benefit of working on the things that don't come naturally when they realize it will affect the skills they're already interested in improving.

There's one thing my parents did absolutely right (and I wish every kid was as lucky!). They encouraged me to follow my passions. Had I figured out how to bring my passions and my deficits into alignment earlier on, I might not be struggling as much with my health today.

I'm interested to hear how you all feel about "the obesity epidemic" in this country and what can be done to help heal it. It's something I think about a lot because I don't want anyone to have to suffer like I did. I don't have the answers, just an inkling. I think one of the most important things is to just get people talking! So talk, Slayers! Maybe we can start to untangle this Gorgon's knot together. 

My First 20k Run

In my recent "Challenge Accepted" post, I decided to take on my very first 20km run in order to celebrate reaching my first 20k unique views on the blog. It was definitely an insane thing to try considering I've only run about half that distance without stopping before but I decided to take it on anyways. I got my dad to film the whole thing so I could share a bit of schadenfreude with you all in thanks for your continued readership and support of my journey.

All in all, I did pretty well. I went out of the gate a little fast in the beginning because we had mapped out the distance wrong and the course I was visualizing in my mind was incorrect so I did run out of gas a little earlier than I had meant to. I ended up alternating walking 2 minutes and running 5 from 6-10 miles, but in the end those last two miles really almost did me in. My body just wanted to stop walking. There was a moment where I was telling my feet to keep moving but they just came to a halt for a split second and I had lots of cramping in my back. I just tried to run when I could but I couldn't seem to get back into my groove. I did manage to finish under 3 hours and without dying (always a plus!), which was my major goal, so I was happy. I'd have to do some more training before attempting anything like that again! As far as injuries, I only really have a sore toe, but that didn't keep me from running two days after the 20k, so I'm hoping it will heal up soon!

There are some more very cool things on the horizon for the blog that I'm excited to share with you. I'll let you know all about the developments as soon as I can!

Embrace Your Inner Rogue: Get Paid

Today's post is going to be a bit of a departure from focusing on the physical and nutritional side of weight loss. After all, you're weight and fitness are not the only elements that determine your happiness. There's this sneaky little bastard called "Quality of Life" and I'm finding that it's pretty important too. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been experiencing a lot of stress because it feels like my creative career is going nowhere. I can create things all I want, but if I can't figure out how to monetize my creative endeavors or the skills I use to create them, then how can I expect to pay the bills by doing what I love? Yes, dear readers. It would seem I have a few more stats to reroll on this here quest for greatness.

As actors we're taught to take any job that will have us at the beginning of our careers. Get out there, get the experience, get the exposure, and eventually it will fall into place. Maybe I'm luckier than I give myself credit for, but I have no problem finding unpaid gigs. I've been doing them for years. For every paid acting job I've had, I've probably had eight unpaid full scale productions in which I've been abused by directors, other actors, or frankly, just plain knocked around by an overall unprofessional process. I'm not saying I didn't learn from these experiences or didn't benefit at all, but for the most part, I gained roles to put on my resume and nothing else. That's not without value, but at a certain point, you have to ask yourself if it's worth the time and the energy to commit yourself to unpaid pursuits with guaranteed experience vs. working less, but being able to focus all of your energy on getting those elusive paid opportunities. 

This goes for writing as well. I've been so honored to have so many fellow bloggers ask me to join their staff of unpaid writers/reviewers, but at this point, I don't have have any more time to pour into more unpaid work. I'm organizing the future of Project Reroll so that my amazing community of readers can flourish and share what they've learned on their own health journeys. I already review and discuss geeky topics as an occasional guest-host with my friends on the Anomaly Podcast (which you need to check out if you haven't!). Plus, I am currently managing a very lengthy and involved post production process on a web series that I wrote/produced with a friend. When I turn down these unpaid opportunities, I'm not being snobby. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me not to get paid for any more extra time and effort. My dance card is pretty darn full.

I know I'm not the only artist or entrepreneur going through this struggle, but over the last few days I've realized something surprising. I might be the one who is standing in my way. How am I supposed to receive currency in exchange for goods if I'm afraid to place an actual value on my skills. Obviously, waiting for someone to pay me for things that I've very publicly given away for free is a terrible marketing plan. 

So here's my new goal; It's time to embrace my inner rogue. Would Jayne Cobb work for free? Even Han Solo wanted pay for his fair cut for saving Princess Leia from the Death Star. Bronn might give Tyrion color commentary for free but when it comes to his sword, he's paid to use it in Lannister gold. Well boys, step aside. There's a new rogue for hire in town and her name is Anne!

So how to start on this quest? Like any of the other skills I've "rerolled," I started by creating steps to help me break down my overall goal into more manageable bite sized pieces.

• Step 1: Determine my marketable skills and be prepared to place an actual value on them. For me these would be acting, writing, and creativity/life coaching. I'm going to think very critically about how to turn these skills into marketable business ventures and place actual values on them so that I can charge for my services. When you fear no one will ask you how much you're worth, it doesn't seem worth going to the trouble to price your skills, but if you don't, then you'll be caught with your pants down when someone does! The ensuing frazzlement could lose you the gig... and they may be confused by your lack of pants. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't cut deals for friends or for projects that I really want to do, but then I'll be ready when someone says, well how much do you charge for that? 
• Step 2: Do some research on what you should charge. If you get confused or nervous about what you can ask for when it comes to compensation, look into what your peers are charging and how they've managed to get paid jobs in their fields. For me this will mean looking at people I know with similar experience levels who are getting paid and seeing how I can emulate or even undercut them when it comes to price. This step comes to you directly from my uncanny ability to "win" at the Auction House in every MMO ever. Time to get some real-life bags of gold. Lok'tar Ogar, people.
• Step 3: Be prepared to negotiate and to face conflict. You need to accept the fact that with this new great power to get paid for your work will come more responsibility on your part. If people are actually paying you, they'll have every right to be demanding of your time. You'll have to develop firm hand when it comes to scheduling you're time and dealing with clients. You'll need to come to the table with a strong sense of self and what you do. If you can't face conflict productively or negotiate business deals without collapsing in on yourself like a dying star, then being an entrepreneur isn't for you. You are the CEO, the production line, and customer service rep all in one. You'll get all the praise, all the cash, and all the grief so you have to prepare yourself to deal with all of that. 
  



By Wosukoart on Deviant Art

• Step 4: Update Your Websites/Create a Store. When you embrace your inner goblin and start shamelessly hawking your wares with a hearty, "I got what you need," you'll need somewhere to direct your traffic. For me, that will mean creating a public listing of my services so that I can give someone my business card with a quick pitch and then send them to my website for a more detailed breakdown of what I'm prepared to offer them. This ties in with the first step of figuring out what you can sell, but in this case, you'll also have to think about how you're going to make it the most appealing deal your client can find. 

Clearly I'm at the beginning of this process and I have no business talking like a know-it-all about this stuff, but this is where I am with it right now. I'll post more about this as I move through the steps and hopefully my depression will dissipate as I make a more active effort to handle this stressful issue in my life. I hope my conclusions and my process provide some inspiration if anyone else in a similar conundrum. If you have any advice for me or other readers, please leave it in the comments!

Stay on Target Stir-fry

Ah my monthly plateau. I've eaten perfectly all week and worked out six out of seven days and yet today at my weigh-in I find I've gained a 1.2 lbs. This happens every month right before "the time that shall not be named" and even though I know it's just a fact of life, it still drives me completely up the damn wall. Seeing a negative number on the scale can really mess with your head, but you just have to persevere and remember all the work you've put in plus how important it is to continue moving forward. As Gold Five says in Star Wars: A New Hope, "Stay on target!"

One thing I've been working on is amping up my knowledge of nutrition and various different diet plans. I've been interested in learning about Paleo even though I'm unsure if it's ultimately what I would want as far as a full time eating plan. I'm a part of the "Nerd Fitness" Rebellion and a lot of people on those forums swear by it and I can see it's appeal because it's one of those diets that really does allow you to eat a ton of different delicious things in any quantity you like as long as you avoid the big "no-nos" which are anything processed; wheat, flour, sugar or its equivalents, dairy, or legumes.

As a part of my "Level Up Your Life" 6 week challenge on the Nerd Fitness forums, I made a goal to cook three Paleo recipes in order to help me explore the plan and also remedy my lack of cooking ability, something that is going to have to change if I'm going to maintain my weight loss and eat on a budget once I reach my weight goal on the Nutrisystem plan. So without further ado, here's the recipe I came up with for stir fry!

Stay on Target Stirfry

Ingredients

• Broccoli
• Shiitake Mushrooms
• Carrots
• Chicken Breast
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Garlic Powder
• Onion Powder
• Sea Salt
• Black Pepper
• Lime

1. First wash and cut up all of your veggies. I bought mine already cut up and ready to go which really cut down on my prep time so if you don't mind spending a bit more money, then awesome. Are they cut up? Great! Set them aside.
2. Next put your skillet or wok on the stove. Set the heat on low.
3. Cut up your chicken into small pieces. I prefer half inch thick slices but it's really up to you.
4. Throw your chicken into the skillet and drizzle a dash of your extra virgin olive oil on it. We're trying to be conservative with this ingredient. Now use a spatula to stir the chicken to get it all coated with the olive oil and make sure it's all spread out evenly. 
5. Now season the chicken with the garlic powder, onion powder, sea salt (be conservative!), and black pepper. 
6. Cut your lime in half. Squeeze one half over the chicken and save the other for the veggies.
7. Cook the chicken for 10-15 minutes to make sure it's cooked. Keep moving it around with your spatula every once in a while to make sure it's cooking evenly and that everything is covered in the seasoning. I also use this time to clean up after myself while I'm hanging out; wash the cutting board, the knife, clear away any packaging, etc.
8. When the chicken is done, remove it from the skillet and put it aside on a plate.
9. Dump all your veggies in the skillet. Drizzle a modest amount of olive oil on them.
10. Repeat the same seasoning process you used for the chicken.
11. Squeeze the second half of the lime onto the veggies.
12. Stir everything up. Keep moving it around so that it will all cook evenly.
13. When you think it's done, then taste one of each type. If it tastes done, then it's done! If it doesn't, keeping going and repeat the taste test process.
14. When the veggies taste done, dump the chicken back into the skillet and cook everything together for about a minute.
15. Turn off the heat and serve up your stir fry!

It's delicious, healthy, and will definitely help you stay full and stay on target when it comes to weight loss! I promise you that you'll be super excited to clean your plate and sad to see it all gone. I know I was! Let me know how you liked the recipe if you try it out!

Things I Don't Miss

 Changing my nutrition and exercise habits have had a profound effect on me both inside and out. Even though I've had some success, when times get tough (I hit a plateau, I'm constantly surrounded by temptation, I get distracted by emotional stuff in my life, etc), I sometimes find myself drifting back to my old way of thinking. Sure, when my friends are eating delicious New York pizza, I want some. I wish it was in the cards that I could eat a slice or two like I used to. When it's late at night and I get a craving for ice cream, I start remembering what it was like to load up on my favorite flavors whenever I felt like it. When I make my boyfriend a bacon cheeseburger I FRAKIN' WANT ONE TOO. Who wouldn't? My choice to not give into that overwhelming urge to throw in the towel and go hog wild with food is what makes me strong. Willpower is a muscle and the more you flex it, the easier it gets. However, when I'm teetering on the edge of disaster, I start to think of what I don't miss about my "old" life. It's like the Star Wars prequels. Sometimes you really wish you didn't sit through those years of pain, but it's there forever and no matter how hard you try, you can't imagine it away so you might as well do your best to glean what you can from it. 

That's why I made this list of "Things I Don't Miss." Thinking about the negative things in my past and how they've changed helps me to focus on a brighter future that as of now, isn't so far, far away anymore.

• I don't miss getting winded just by walking from the subway to my destination.
• I don't miss sweating like crazy all the time.
• I don't miss getting hit on by guys who only want me because I'm a "BBW" fetish.
• I don't miss only being able to sit on the subway if there are two adjacent seats available.
• I don't miss my feet feeling like they were breaking after being on them for hours at a time.
• I don't miss my feet and ankles swelling up like sausages a few times a month.
• I don't miss slowly having to accept that I'm getting too big for my clothes.
• I don't miss binging on a whole pizza from Pappa John's and feeling like crap afterwards for willingly destroying my body day after day.
• I don't miss calling to order food from one of my favorite restaurants and having them recognize my voice and fill in my order before I can finish my sentence.
• I don't miss that guy at Dunkin' Donuts who saw my State ID from when I was thinner while I was paying and said, "Wow. When did you get fat?"
• I don't miss going to the doctor and having to get poked and prodded a billion times for them to even find a vein to take blood.
• I don't miss people feeling they need to console me by telling me, "But you have a beautiful face."
• I don't miss my family repeatedly telling me I'm going to get diabetes.
• I don't miss approaching a roller coaster with apprehension because I might not fit in the seat. 
• I don't miss putting myself down with a joke so that no one else has a chance to do it first.
• I don't miss feeling like I'm holding my friends back because of my weight.
• I don't miss letting myself get pushed around because I don't feel I deserve to take up any space.
• I don't miss looking at my beautiful friends and feeling like I don't even deserve to be around them. 
• I don't miss  being jealous of other people's beauty and success in healthy endeavors and subsequently hating myself for it.
• I don't miss promising myself that "I'll start tomorrow" but already knowing I won't.
• I don't miss making a million excuses for not trying something because I was afraid to fail due to my weight.
• I don't miss looking in the mirror, being unhappy with what I see, and not being able to temper that with an affirmation that I'm working hard to become a better person.

Last night, a friend asked me how it "felt" to have lost all this weight. I was flooded with a mixture of emotions because I know at my core I'm the same person in a lot of ways, but in that moment I was struggling to capture the result of leaving all that negativity in my past. In the end I decided on, "I'm not afraid anymore."

Exit Strategy

If you measure my weight loss on the Princess Leia scale, I'm Leia in Boushh's armor rescuing Han Solo from Jabba's palace at the beginning of Return of the Jedi. In layman's terms, I'm just entering the last third of my journey and a lot of people have been asking me about what I'm going to do when I'm "done." 

Hell, from where I sit, I still have to don a metal bikini, befriend the Ewoks, learn Luke is actually my brother, and restore peace to the galaxy. I guess other people see me as "approaching the finish line" even though I still see a whole lot of work still to be done. I'm not ready to leave Nutrisystem yet, but I do plan to when I reach my goal. It's been well worth the expense but it's not at all realistic for me to continue to pay for the program for any longer than I need to. Many of the Nutrisystem naysayers think the program is unsustainable for this very reason; Sure, it's easy to execute, but do you learn enough about nutrition and portion sizes to maintain your weightloss after you're off the program?

No matter what your system is (Weight Watchers, Paleo, South Beach, Seattle Sutton, etc), it's your responsibility to learn about the program and why it's working for you. If you don't, you WILL gain the weight back. This is not a process that just ends when you "Ding" your goal weight on the scale and reach max level. It's a lifelong education and you owe it to yourself to put in the time and effort to ensure continued success. If you leave it till the last second, sooner or later temptation and lack of knowledge will find a way to lead you right down the old path you were on before you started.

That's why I've started educating myself now, rather then at the end of the program. Here's some advice I've picked up along the way.

• You need to read the labels on your food and look at the ingredients. It's not just about calories, it's about content.
• If there's something that's easy to make on your program, like oatmeal, or a healthier desert that you really like, start looking for an equivalent. For example, I found low-sugar-low-fat Quaker Oatmeal in Maple Brown Sugar and Apple Cinnamon for a breakfast that's similar to Nutrisystem's versions of the same product. I also found UNREAL: Candy Unjunked at my local CVS. They basically make candy with lower sugar, no corn syrup, no partially hydrogenated oil, no artificial ingredients, no preservatives, and low glycemic index. Their Milky Way equivalent has the same amount of sugar as an apple and is only 170 calories, as opposed to 270 in an actual Milky Way. In addition, I'll be replacing my lunch bars at work with Luna bars. 
• You need to look at what proper portions are and find a way to help you measure them once it's not being done for you. Invest money in measuring cups/spoons and invest time in using them for anything from measuring rice to salad dressing. 
• If you're on Weight Watchers, you need to look at WHY certain foods are worth more than others. Even within that system, there are things that are way better for you than others and it's nice to know why because it can help you make informed decisions when under pressure. Don't just follow your chosen program blindly.
• No matter what you're doing, you'll have to learn how to cook sooner or later if you want to live in a healthier more cost effective way. My nutritionist gave me a copy of Integrative Nutrition which is full of advice on how to fuel your body and includes a lot of yummy recipes. If there's something you like on your "prepackaged food" diet, learn how to make it so when you're done with the program you won't feel like you've been left high and dry.

Personally, I'm going to take it in strides. I've learned a lot, but I'm hardly an expert and I have a long way to go. My plan is to get on Weight Watchers when I get to maintenance so that I still have a general measurement system for planning my daily food that doesn't rely solely on calories (since I hate that). Their program definitely allows for increased flexibility as far as eating out goes it converts your workouts into more "points" to use for your day- something you'll definitely want to take advantage of in maintenance. I'm finding some great equivalents for the foods I enjoy on Nutrisystem, either in the store or by learning to cook them, and I'm starting to give myself fitness goals as well as scale goals so I can stay motivated after I reach my weightloss goal. The key here is to be specific, i.e. I'd like to be able to run a 5k or I'd like to be able to stay in a shoulder stand during yoga for 10 minutes and not "I want to run. Spinning might be fun."

So that's where I am! What are you doing to ensure your continued success after you reach your goal? I'd love to hear any advice in the comments!

Giving Thanks

Knowing that Thanksgiving was coming around the corner, I've been working out every day after work. My work is really exhausting. I give tours all day and walk roughly 5 miles up and down 4 flights of stairs every day. So by the time I get home, I'm ready to sit down and relax.

Well not this week! :) I've been keeping my nose to the grindstone and putting in the work.

This morning topped it off though! I had been planning to rest on Thanksgiving and just enjoy everything in moderation, especially since I'm scheduled to work during the day. Well this morning I woke up around 5:30AM for no reason and couldn't get back to sleep. Then, I realized my first tour wasn't going to start until 11:30AM. 

I could have stayed in bed as I'd planned and given myself a break, but I didn't. Before I could even think about it, I hopped out of bed, threw on my gym clothes and began schlepping myself the 6 blocks to the gym. After I was done sweating out a cardio workout, I headed back to my apartment to shower. During the walk I was thinking about all the things that have changed since I started this whole healthy mission.. quest... thing! Sorry, I can never resist quoting Lord of the Rings. ANYWAYS! 

• I've lost almost 60 lbs, sure. But that's just on the surface! 
• 5 months ago, I would not going to the gym because I had extra time to kill. 
• I wasn't as self assured as I am now because I was never brave enough to ask for what I wanted or demand what I deserve. I didn't think I was worth it. Now I know I am!
• I didn't have a boyfriend who is proud of my journey and my determination to succeed rather than the results that succeeding will yield.
• I had NO self control. 
• I didn't know how to forgive myself for mistakes. 
• I didn't know how to indulge without derailing myself.
• I didn't have awesome cheerleaders and peers who teach me about what it takes for us to reach our goals EVERY DAY!

All that said, I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving where I was thankful for MYSELF, which seems really selfish I guess, but there you have it. I'm thankful for a lot of things this year, but most of all I'm thankful for the changes in me and I hope you're all thankful for yourselves too!

You Slimy-Double-Crossing-No-Good-Swindler!

Well. Last night was the first time that I ACTIVELY cheated on my diet since starting Nutrisystem. I didn't go off the deep end or anything but when my boyfriend showed up to the sushi restaurant, he said that he'd rather go somewhere he hadn't gone before so I quickly had to change my plans and got thrown for a bit of a loop. We ended up going to Veselka, a Polish restaurant down the street, which is really good, but everything on the menu was pretty starchy. I probably should have gone with a simple salad, but it had been a really long day giving tours and the rain had been abysmal and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Plus they didn't have any lowfat dressings and the additions to the salads seemed really out of control. Long and short was: I wanted some comfort food. So I got a vegetarian platter with mushroom stuffed cabbage and perogies that came with a salad and matzah ball soup. I ate the whole garden salad without dressing. I had the soup part of the matzah ball soup and just a few bites of the ball in the center and then two of the four cheese perogies and half of the cabbage, which was COVERED in mushroom gravy which I scraped most of off. 

In any case I exhibited some self control and portion sense in how I went about enjoying the delicious meal that arrived at the table... but after dinner, Brandon really wanted desert. Well across the street, was MUD coffee. We went in, found a quiet table and we decided to share a brownie and he ordered some hot chocolate as well. I knew I could only have a few bites because it would be so rich, but after the day that I'd had... I REALLY wanted some. Ugh. So I did end up having four or five bites and a sip of his hot chocolate. But that combined with a dinner that I felt really pushed it in terms of flexing on the plan, really made me feel guilty. 

Anyways, I've been weighing myself every day (just to keep myself honest), and I couldn't resist stepping on the scale this morning to see the damage I'd done. I felt like I owed it to my progress to face up to my cheating in the light of day. Turns out I lost .2 lbs yesterday. 

Who's SCRUFFY LOOKING NOW, CONSCIENCE!?

I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad because I didn't gain anything, but given the fact that I've been sort of struggling through a plateau, I felt like today was not the time to cheat. Anyways. It's nose to the grindstone today. I'm not going to let this get to me because it's a new day and I can always make better choices, but I felt like I should chronicle the experience and hold myself accountable for it instead of sweeping it under the rug. So there you have it. I'm a cheater now. :( I know it's a milestone that we all face at some point, but I suppose what I wanted to say is:

"Just because you make a poor choice one day, doesn't mean you can't do better the next."

Motivational Thinking: I Have Many Skills

There are things I've started to tell myself to stay on track when things get hard or food gets tempting. In the past, being a stickler about having to do the same thing every day has caused me to lose large amounts of weight in the beginning, but resulted in a failure later on when I'm not able to continue measuring up to my own incredibly high standards. After all, no two days are the same, so if you limit yourself to certain behaviors performed in an exact order every day, there's only so long you can carry on before you start to feel trapped by the process. The key difference here is that I've been educating myself on how to be more active and how to supplement the Nutrisystem program so that if I do have to adjust, I have more options for strategies and solutions at my finger tips. This time around, I'm allowing myself to be more flexible and adopting a "slow and steady wins the race" mentality so that I can focus on lasting life-style changes rather than yo-yoing down so fast that I fail to maintain the weightloss and shoot up higher than I was in the first place. It's the difference between Jedi and Sith training.

So without further ado, here are some of my go-to motivational mantras:

• You can sleep in, but then you have to go to the gym after work and work twice as hard.
• You never regret going to the gym, but you do regret not going.
• If you want to eat off of your specific diet plan, then PLAN how you're going to do it so that you're not undoing the hard work you've done. On these "indulgence" days, you MUST go to the gym. 
• If you're dreading your typical boring workout, you don't have to do it. BUT! You do have to go to the gym and take a class.
• If you have a setback, let it go and move forward. You're not going to undo a mistake by harping on the past. The only thing that will undo a setback is what you DO in the present and plan to do in the future. 
• What do we say to the god of giving up?

Buy this print on Society Six

Those are just a few of the sentiments I've been using to push myself through rough spots. If you have more that you use to keep your motivation up, please feel free to post them in the comments!

Eating Out on a Diet? Challenge Accepted

So last night was my first time eating out for dinner and I was sort of nervous for it after 6 weeks of sticking 100% to my Nutrisystem diet with no cheating. Normally, I'm an all or nothing gal. Yoda taught me well. Do or do not, THERE IS NO TRY! Yet, I know that kind of thinking is not sustainable when it comes to diet and exercise. You have to develop a sense of flexibility and some faith in your willpower to continue to make healthy choices going forward no matter what you might have done the night before. Most importantly, if you fall off the wagon, you can't just kill all the younglings and succumb to The Dark Side again. You have to forgive yourself and just do better the next time. Torturing yourself about your troubled past isn't going to help you towards a brighter future. I'm lookin' at you, Xena.

All I can say is that I felt ready for the challenge and I put myself in control. Here are the Jedi mind tricks I used to help ensure the success of my mission. 

• I was going on a date, so I chose where we were going to eat so that I knew it would be both affordable and that I'd be able to find something healthy to eat.
• When I got up, I went to the gym. I knew that if I was treating myself to great food later that I needed to pay the toll at the gym in the morning.
• We got sushi. If I could have had brown rice in my sushi I would have been happier but I knew between Miso soup and the healthier roll choices, I'd be able to land right within the right amount of calories for my dinner.
• How did I know how many calories were in the rolls? I researched them. Instead of getting there and just hoping I was making good choices, I researched the ingredients of all my favorite sushi rolls and based on the varying results, I put together a "high-end" estimate of what things would be and made decisions that would put me right between 230-260 calories. 
• I stuck with it! I made my selections at home and I stuck to my plan when I got to the restaurant. I didn't feel guilty AT ALL (yay!) and I enjoyed EVERY BITE knowing that I'd done the work and I knew what I was doing and I'd made a concious effort to enjoy my favorite cuisine in a healthy, portion concious way.
• The result: I'm back on my Nutrisystem plan today with no problem and no guilt nipping at my heels!

Hope my experience can help others to make good choices when their faced with this pivotal moment in their journey! :)