The Only Way to Fail Is to Give Up

Photo by G. Edwards Photography

This past weekend at New York Comic Con was a ton of fun for a lot of reasons, but there was something that happened which reminded me of how far I've come in the last year and it's a sentiment that I think everyone should try to incorporate into their lives.

As you all know, I spent over 120 hours in the last month making my Dragon Age costume for Comic Con. I learned a whole new set of skills. I spent a lot of money, sweat, tears, and passion on creating my Tallis costume for NYCC. I carefully tested everything out before the event and wore the armor around the house for a few hours so I could make adjustments for comfort and fit. I was ready.

I wouldn't find out how sadly mistaken I was till the morning of the con on Friday. My friend had done my hair and make-up, another had helped apply my ears, and yet another was on hand to help me get suited up. I had a support team of champions at the ready to help me look my best. I'd done a Whole30 leading up to day of the con to slim down a little. Well, apparently I slimmed down more than a little. When I pulled on the leg guards, they immediately slid down my legs. I couldn't take a step without them falling down around my ankles. The more that happened, the more they started to destroy my boot covers. When I was going to the bag check the bag ripped my choker apart somehow. It was like watching Vesuvius destroy Pompeii. The pieces of the puzzle were all there, but they were losing functionality by the second. I really just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Not only had I made this costume for me, but I made it so that I could have an immediate "in" for starting conversations with people and telling them about this site and my mission to help my fellow geeks get what they want out of life, whether that's getting healthy, getting into cosplay, or just chasing after their life goals. Obviously conventions are fun, but they're also great for networking and cosplay is a wonderful way to bring fellow fans out of the wood work. 

It was just a gargantuan disappointment. It made me miss one of the panels I was most looking forward to and it felt like the world was crashing down around me as my masterpiece fell apart. It got to the point where I had to make an important decision. I could struggle to wear it all day and be horribly uncomfortable as the costume was destroyed through wear and tear, or I could take it off and just be a normal con-goer. That might sound like a silly thing to stress over, but in the past year I've realize how very important cosplay is to me. It has completely changed my convention experience and I oddly feel naked without it. 

As horrible as that all felt, I also knew that making the decision as efficiently as possible was for the best. If I had stayed in that state of dejected panic, I would have ruined the whole weekend for myself. After giving myself five minutes to be super depressed, I got myself to a bathroom, changed into my street clothes, shoved my business cards in my pocket, and hit the show floor with renewed vigor. 

The next day, I grabbed my Ren Faire costume, and added a few pieces from Tallis for details. Even though I wasn't a recognizable character, I still got attention from photographers and other cosplayers because I stood out from the average con goer. Every day, I made it work with what I had and I made sure to create my own opportunities to meet my personal heroes and anyone else I thought would enjoy hearing about Project Reroll. I made friends in every panel line and made a schedule for all the signings, industry meet-ups, and special events I thought I should attend. I met pro cosplayers like Yaya Han, Ivy Doomkitty (who I just featured a few articles ago), and Nicole Marie Jean. I attended afterparties to bravely worked the room (something that still horrifies me to this day) and was rewarded with meeting my favorite Mythbuster, Grant Imahara! I waited in line to meet Felicia Day, who was so congratulatory about my achievements that she gave me a high five, followed by taking the time to talk about how almond milk was our jam and that cupcakes are the greatest thing ever. On Sunday I went to a panel on how to protect your new business from a legal perspective and after asking a question about my idea for a geek themed Paleo cook book, I got approached by someone who helps new authors put together book proposals. As an added bonus, my year of research into cosplay helped me recognize Monika Lee and Jessica Nigri on the street on Monday so I could meet them too! What was a disaster turned into an amazing weekend of meeting new people, building public knowledge about our growing Slayer community here on Project Reroll, sharing stories, playing ALL THE DEMOS, and celebrating my geek identity. Even though I couldn't premiere my new costume, it still made for a great one year cosplay anniversary.

A year ago I might not have been capable of picking myself up like that and carrying on, let alone making the absolute most of a bad situation. When you work hard at something like weight loss or sticking to a very strict diet, the first time you experience a big failure, it can be extremely derailing. A lot of people give up right there, but in reality, giving up is the only way to fail. If you  make a mistake, you can recover if you just keep working hard afterwards. So be brave (like this amazing little girl who wanted to be like Sokka so much that she shaved the sides of her head to achieve his exact hairstyle for her cosplay. WATER TRIBE.). Don't let disappointments get in the way of the bigger picture. There's always something you can do to make the most of a bad situation. Hell, you might even be able to transform it into an AWESOME situation if you put your mind to it. 

Top 5 Curvy Cosplayers

While I want to support being healthy, I also support the concept of body positivity. I think that taking your health seriously is a personal journey and it's about learning how to embrace who you are at every step along the way, not just the finish line. I don't think being thin makes you who you are. I think taking action to improve your life will show you who you are and that sometimes that can result in becoming a more fit person. 

One of the things that helped me embrace myself and see myself for all the things I could potentially be (rather than all the things I'd never live up to) was cosplay. Becoming Appa made me believe I was confident enough to show off a costume I'd made without feeling like I wasn't able to embody the character. Training to become Rainbow Dash for PAX East taught me that I loved running. Creating my Dragon Age costume has been a celebration of getting my body to a place where I am believable as one of my favorite characters who I find incredibly empowering and badass. Each costume has helped me become more of who I am through taking on elements of other characters that I'm not sure I can live up to!

When I first started cosplaying, I was terrified because of the prevalence of this kind of behavior:

Alexandra Dal

This week, I saw an article about a girl who posted a picture of herself portraying Lara Croft from Tomb Raider on Halloween. It was a character she loved and she went out with her friends on Halloween and took pictures like we all do. She posted the picture to facebook and as the internet is known to do, it got hold of the photo and it went viral with the caption "Fridge Raider." On the surface, even she found it funny, but what the internet did to the image ultimately went from trolls having their fun to viscous bullying and body shaming. People wrote responses telling her to kill herself. They weren't just having a casual giggle. They tore her APART. 

It makes me want to cry because this girl is braver than I will EVER be. She was self assured and she wanted to be Lara Croft. She didn't care that she didn't have "the right" body type (something I still agonize about before each and every costume I make). She went out there and she enjoyed herself. Her reward? Ridicule from a pack of anonymous "dickwolves" who vilified her for having the audacity to go out with her friends and dress up for a night of fun on Halloween. 

Cosplay should be fun for everyone. It's about using your crafting hobbies to express how much you love something. It's not about how hot you are or how many interviews you get (though that stuff certainly has it's place in the "pro-cosplay" world). For most people, cosplay is about being a part of something and finding other people who love that same thing. 

That being said, that article made me want to point you guys in the direction of some ladies who are taking the world of cosplay by storm while rocking their curves and their craftsmanship. I want to celebrate them both for having the confidence I didn't have when I started this journey and for standing out from the crowd with their excellent designs and craft skills. Without further ado, here are my top 5 curvy cosplayers! Hopefully they will inspire you to get your feet wet no matter what size you are!

1. Darkspawnhorror 

She has a bunch of pictures on tumblr of her work, but I came across her "Marian Hawke" cosplay when I was looking for some empowering photos of Dragon Age cosplay to help me get inspired to work on Tallis. She looks like she's having a blast in every photo and what's more, you can see she has an eye for detail. Check out her guantlet and all the leatherwork. With an attitude like that, I just have to believe she must have chosen every snarky remark for her playthrough of DA II. 

2. Ivy Doomkitty

As an L.A. based cosplayer, Ivy rocks her curves in every costume from Star Trek to Elektra. I love her redesign of Dr. Doom. She's rocking the corset to create an amazing silhouette and it's a really creative repurposing of a male character for the female form. She rocks the sexy all the time and is probably more confident in her body than I will ever be! You can like her on Facebook to see more of her work. 

3. Lady Annika "Magneto" Cosplay

What I like about Lady Annika is that she's short and she doesn't necessarily have the hourglass form that some of these other ladies have. Yet, there's something amazing about the creative way she redesigns male costumes for her body. My favorites are her Nightwing and her very recent Walking Deadpool. She makes really awesome armor and the SFX make-up on her Deadpool is great. Go like her on Facebook to check out more of her work. 

4. Becky Young

Becky was on Heroes of Cosplay and while she's not as obviously curvy as some of the other ladies on this list, she admitted to struggling with her weight and being self conscious about looking good in her costumes while on the show. Watching her get cinched into her Merida costume and seeing her tough it out on the treadmill reminded me of all the other struggles that go on in the cosplay world OUTSIDE of simply making the costume. Her Pinkie Pie costume stood out to me long ago, even though I didn't know who she was at the time. She was just so bubbly and fun looking! If anypony is going to have a little meat on them, it would be the one who lives above the cake shop and loves to party! She embodied the character perfectly in every image I've seen. I also love that she is constantly working to improve her craftsmanship and I admire her the most out of all the ladies on that show. She was just the most "real" to me. I hope you'll check out her work on Facebook and give her some support, whether you were a fan of the show or not. 

5. Bellechere

The QUEEN of CURVES is Bellechere. My. God. If you are not following her work on Facebook, then you should be! I would venture to say she's probably the most successful curvaceous cosplayer out there. She is a confident sexy craftswoman who loves taking on superheroes. Her Captain Marvel is epic. Her Power Girl is epic. Everything is flawless and just because she's curvy doesn't mean she's afraid to show her fair share of skin. Check out her Goblin Queen costume if you're wondering what I'm talking about. I adore her. I'm always excited to see what she's going to do next. 

Those are my top five. There are probably more out there that I'm missing and I'd love to hear about them. If you know someone I missed, please feel free to add links to your favorites in the comments! 

Embracing Dragon Age

I won't be spittin' nerdy health truths today. I'm actually going to be sharing some progress on my current cosplay project! I've been sharing it on the Project Reroll facebook fan page, so go like it if you want geeky updates on health, fitness, and my latest cosplay projects. 

I never would have imagined that I would be creating an elf costume a year ago because I never would have thought I could pull one of the long, lithe creatures off. I'm in no way in perfect shape, but I'm close enough to my goal that I wanted to enjoy my new body and start to embody some of my favorite video game characters.

My favorite game series of all time is Dragon Age. I also loved Felicia Day's webseries "Dragon Age: Redemption" which focused on Tallis, an elf assassin serving the Qun. The costume was designed for the webseries by Greg Aranowitz and then Felicia and the costume were put into the game in the DLC Mark of the Assassin. He chronicled the whole process on his blog. She's a passionate, feisty, redheaded elf rogue with witty quips and flirtations galore. She was made for me! Plus, when I found out that Felicia was going to be attending NYCC, I figured it was the perfect kick in the pants to get started. Plus, maybe I can get her to sign a part of the costume! That would be pretty epic, I think!

Luckily they released a detailed picture of the costume pieces a while back so I've been using that, screen grabs of Felicia from the series, and screen caps from the game to create the costume. This is by far the most complicated thing I've ever attempted. The only things I'm not making from scratch are the leggings, the boots I put my boot covers over, my money purse, and the gloves. The main materials are some dark green wool/cashmere cloth for the hood and some details, leather cords, some fake leather for the boot covers, and a lot of worbla painted with gesso and acrylic paint. There are also a lot of sundry detail stuff like studs and rhinestones and grommets, etc. Everything is being hand sewn and/or hot glued. 

To start out I had to make a mold. Correction, I had to get my friend Steven to wrap me in saran wrap and then carefully apply duct tape to create a mold of my body. 

Then I used that to make my pattern and mold my worbla over it. Worbla is a thermoplastic substance that you can use a heat gun to shape. When it cools, it holds the shape. I had to make the back and front of the armor, the leg guards, the daggers, and the hand guards out of it. 

Then I added the details like buckles for the straps and grommets for corset strings to be threaded through.

Then the long arduous process of gesso, sanding, and acrylic (making it look like green leather) began. My kingdom for an electric sander. I was more sore from that than I've been from push-ups in a LONG time. 

Then came the leather work! This included some sewing and hot gluing. I'm pretty proud of the belt and the boot covers didn't come out half bad! I still need to so some dry brushing with light brown paint on the boots and the shoulder guards, which are still being broken in.

As I complete pieces, my house is turning into an armor wrack. I'm sort of fine with that!

There are still some details left to do and of course the hood, but as you can see, it's really coming together! I'll certainly need help getting in an out of it, but I'm totally on schedule to finish on time. For a while there I was so frustrated with simply molding the front of the chest plate and the back that I considered throwing in the towel and waiting to make this for PAX East this year, but after a while, I just went balls deep and got to work. I've had a lot of help from friends. Mainly Chris (who sold me his extra worbla), Steven who's helped with the mold, and my room mate Joey who's not only had to put up with a string of obscenities flowing from the living room as I burn myself, cut myself, chase the cat away from the gesso, and discover problems, but also helped out with a lot of operations that required more than two hands to pull off. It was also cool to get some support from the @dragonage twitter account when I first posted my progress photos!

Soon, I'll be given all of NYCC the full on Tallis, but for now, it's grocery shopping, my weekly Paleo cook-a-thon, and then back to my workshop to continue work on this costume (aka, my living room)! This has taken countless hours to pull off and will take more than a few more before I'm ready to premiere it  October 11th. Focusing on this project has kept me away from snacks and totally focused on Whole30, partially because I don't have time for anything else and also because I want to look good! Obviously I fit this to my body mold EXACTLY. There's no room for weight gain here! That's like, trial by fire! 

If there's anyone out there planning to attend NYCC, let me know! I'd love to meet up with any Slayers out there who want to chat! I'll be tweeting from the @projectreroll and @annerichmond twitter accounts while I'm there so come find me!

Make a Plan

When you feel yourself slipping, the best way ahead is to make a plan. Then all you have to do is execute it. Now you're saying, "Yeah Anne, but executing is hard!" It is hard, but it's even harder if you're just flying by the seat of your pants.

So here's my plan for the next 6 weeks. I've been on vacation in England, enjoying the Ren Faire every few weekends, and attending conventions all summer. That's all fine, but I have fallen off the wagon when it comes to my health and its time to get back on it and get my bum in gear (and in squats) so that when the holidays hit, I'll be back in the habit again!

It's dangerous to go alone, I hear, so I'm teaming up with my friends Shannon and Steven for this adventure! We have some separate goals but are overlapping in a few areas. It will be nice to have two good friends to stay accountable with.

Goal 1: Fly, you fool! I have to get back to running 3x/week. I fell out of the habit on vacation and the few times I've tried since getting back... it's been terrible. I can blame it on the heat all I want, but I know the real issue is just that I've lost a lot of the stamina I built up. No more excuses. My running should be composed of  one HIIT workout with sprints and 2 longer runs (35-40+ minutes) each week. They can be outside or inside on the treadmill.

Goal 2: They'll be back, and in stronger numbers. Strength training 2x/week. This will all be bodyweight based and done through yoga or circuits. Idealy I'd do this more than twice a week, but I'm not going to pressure myself to workout more than 5x total a week right now. It's more important that I get back to regularity than to overpressure myself.

Goal 3: Whole 30. I'm going to be detoxing all my bad decisions with this month long program. I was inspired by Mike's juice fast and I think this will be a great way to kickstart my Paleo routine again whilst cleansing my system. Shannon and Steven are joining me on this adventure and it will include opportunities for us to all get together and cook new things. My alternate reason for committing to a Whole 30 is because NYCC is coming up in 3 weeks and I want to be at my best for my Dragon Age cosplay. You can follow along with construction on Facebook if you're interested!

Goal 4: Let's Put on a Show! My career (as far as the arts are concerned) has been totally destroyed by this transformation process. That seems like an extreme statement, but because my body has changed so much, nothing that's on my resume or that has been made for my reel is helpful because I'd never be hired for those roles anymore. It's like everything I built doesn't matter towards building my life into what I want it to be. That's always been the thing I DID have under control while my weight and health suffered. Now it's the other way around. I've been struggling a lot to figure out how exactly I'll turn this around and stop the self loathing/frustration cycle. I suppose the best cure is to get myself back to work and make new things. Shannon asked if I wanted to do a concert with her and another friend and I think it's the perfect opportunity to get my feet back into the water. We know that the concert will be in January, so it will take more than six weeks to finish the goal completely, but there are specific steps we're planning to take in the next six weeks. They are:

• Set a date
• Meet 1/week for a "state of the union"
• Secure accompanist/ music director
• Secure filmographer (so that I can get some new reel material)
• Make a budget and plan
• Save $25 a week towards the cost of producing the show

So those are my goals for the next six weeks starting TODAY! It's a little scary but I'm excited to be playing this game co-op with some fellow geeks! Do you have a plan you're trying to execute? Why not share it in the comments so we can all show our support!

My First 20k Run

In my recent "Challenge Accepted" post, I decided to take on my very first 20km run in order to celebrate reaching my first 20k unique views on the blog. It was definitely an insane thing to try considering I've only run about half that distance without stopping before but I decided to take it on anyways. I got my dad to film the whole thing so I could share a bit of schadenfreude with you all in thanks for your continued readership and support of my journey.

All in all, I did pretty well. I went out of the gate a little fast in the beginning because we had mapped out the distance wrong and the course I was visualizing in my mind was incorrect so I did run out of gas a little earlier than I had meant to. I ended up alternating walking 2 minutes and running 5 from 6-10 miles, but in the end those last two miles really almost did me in. My body just wanted to stop walking. There was a moment where I was telling my feet to keep moving but they just came to a halt for a split second and I had lots of cramping in my back. I just tried to run when I could but I couldn't seem to get back into my groove. I did manage to finish under 3 hours and without dying (always a plus!), which was my major goal, so I was happy. I'd have to do some more training before attempting anything like that again! As far as injuries, I only really have a sore toe, but that didn't keep me from running two days after the 20k, so I'm hoping it will heal up soon!

There are some more very cool things on the horizon for the blog that I'm excited to share with you. I'll let you know all about the developments as soon as I can!