Bend, Don't Break

Hi, my name is Anne, and I've been on a food bender for the last week.

Pizza.

Burgers.

Ice cream.

Sandwiches.

Breakfast pastries.

Cupcakes.

Chai Lattes.

I gave myself a pass because I thought I could just get the urge to emotionally binge out of my system- sorta like forcing a kid to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes after you catch them sneaking one.

Thus, I gave myself a week long "foodcation" to have all the things I have missed. On this, the eve of my return to better health, let me tell you what I've learned. 

I can't wait to eat REAL food again.

Seriously.

Fries? I remember them being a lot better than they are. Pizza makes my belly feel heavy and uncomfortably bloated. Sandwiches are great, but I would rather have half than whole. The bread fills me up too fast. It's really what's INSIDE the sandwich that provides the flavor. Next time I'll just eat some turkey. Breakfast pastries are nice, but I've realized they're only worth the calories when they're fresh so it's worth saving them for treats and seeking out really great bakeries on those occassions. Cupcakes are amazing, but simpler and smaller is better. Again, gourmet is the way to go when you get the chance. After a while things stop tasting interesting and everything is just a wash of bread and sugar. 

I've been sluggish. I eat this crap and get the urge to sleep immediately afterwards. I'm writing this blog at 11:24PM because I ate an apple, brie, cranberry, and honey sandwich that caused me to fall asleep while binge watching Arrested Development at 5PM! I never felt that randomly exhausted after a proper meal. This whole week, it has felt like my brain was rebelling against me- like it was repeatedly pressing the snooze button. Giving tours when your mind is ten steps behind you is torture.

When I touch my stomach, it feels BRUISED from being filled with food that doesn't digest easily over the last week.

I also noticed that during this "free period," never did I ever once desire/consume alcohol. 

Lastly, I discovered that working out after filling your body with crap is WAY harder than working out after priming your body with a protein rich breakfast of whole foods. Eating shitty food does not make you want to work out. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy of laziness. You eat stuff you shouldn't and then to make matters worse, it doesn't even put you in the frame of mind where you WANT to work out. How lame is that?

Also, just so you guys know: Food does not make you feel any better about your shitty life. SHOCKER. Even after eating ice cream, you're just sad and filled with dairy and sugar. It changes nothing except that it makes you feel even worse for putting crap in your body on top of everything else. 

So will I never crave any of this stuff again? Of course I will. However, I feel like I successfully proved to myself how much my palette has changed. These cravings are completely mental now because I know what I really want, how this food makes me feel, and how I'd prefer to fuel my body. Did this set me back weight loss wise? Sure, but this was temporary and the small amount of weight I gained will drop away when I get back to my routine. 

Knowledge wise, I feel like this was a right of passage I really needed. It's amazing to feel how much my body is rejecting my old habits and craving the return to my new ones. The key to this whole experiment was to bend for one week so I wouldn't break. I was feeling like I could never have any of that stuff ever again. I was afraid of food and afraid of treats. I felt like I was limiting myself too much and I wondered how I'd ever be able to adjust to Paleo/Primal if I was constantly craving bread and cheese. My emotional stress was driving me crazy and I wanted to eat all the things. Rather than just throw up my hands and give up, essentially breaking and causing MAJOR damage to my body and my psyche, I decided to make a plan with calculated risks so I could get a sense of how hard it would be to really give up all of the foods that going Primal is going to cut out of my life.

Note: I never would have have done this had I not known that I'd have no problem getting back into the swing of things, so I'm not recommending this course of action for anyone who just started a diet and really wants an order of cheese fries. I've been working at this for almost a year now and I know I have no problem returning to my health plan. This is not me telling you, "Sure, live a little and cheat on your diet when you feel like it." If you adopt that excuse, you'll completely sabotage all your hard work. However, if you're on a diet and you've been doing everything right for an extended amount of time and that desire for a burger has been dogging you every day for a month to the point where it's driving you crazy, maybe it's time to get in a good workout, eat a nice salad for lunch and then treat yourself to the best burger you can find so you can get the craving out of your system and refocus your attention on healthier stuff afterwards. Sometimes we have to bend a little so that we don't break and destroy everything we've worked for. 

No matter what, this whole "health thing" is all about what you want to do. It all comes down to your choice. So whatever you decide, own it and learn from it.

Kicking Ass and Letting Go

I've been extremely disciplined over the last two months as a part of reaching my weightloss goal for the next convention I'm going to and also as a personal double dog dare to not only to recommit to my goal, but to challenge myself more physically. I've stuck to the Nutrisystem plan completely 6-7 days a week without flexing or eating restaurant food at all. Since January 1st, I've lost about 12 lbs and I'm just 5 lbs from the goal I have in mind for March 22. Because this is a two month exercise, I've been pushing myself a LOT harder than I intend to going forward, but I have seen some pretty remarkable results! My body is visibly changing. I can feel my muscles engaging in new ways in my yoga classes and I can work on new poses that I couldn't reach before. I've been really improving all my coordination in Zumba and my foot work is getting faster and more precise. It's really cool to see the results of your journey in your capabilities rather than just what's on the scale at your weekly weigh-in.

After losing 4 lbs./week for the last two weigh ins, I felt like my body was REALLY holding onto every ounce of fat! I only lost .8 lbs this week. For the last few days, even though I was eating perfectly and exercising a lot, the scale crept up about .2 lbs a day. It might be frustrating to look at, but I know enough about health and fitness at this point that I realize it's just my body adjusting, building muscle, and adapting so that I can continue to lose. A lot of people get really frustrated by that. On the surface, yes, it looks like you didn't measure up to one of those killer weeks where everything goes right and the scale shows a huge number. However if you stop and think about whether you made all the good choices you could have that week and your response is, "Hell yes, I'm awesome," then why waste ANY TIME thinking you're not just because that number wasn't so impressive? Don't let the scale succeed at that bluff check when you know you've done well. The work is in your control. The number is not. 

It's my friend's birthday party tonight and I've already packed my dinner, a mandarin orange snack, and a breakfast bar for tomorrow in case I stay over at my boyfriend's place. I worked extra hard at the gym today, skipped my snack this morning, and will skip out on my dessert entree tonight so that I can enjoy one of my friend's cupcakes with buttercream icing tonight! It's like I always say, set yourself up for success by planning ahead, and you can feel free to enjoy yourself later! Next on the nutrition agenda, planning for my Valentine's Day date because I know I'm going to want to enjoy that in all it's splendor! For me, planning my indulgence days makes it all the easier to stick to my diet and fitness regime 100% the rest of the time because I have goodies to look forward to!

Thanksgiving: One Short Day of Indulgence

Now I can finally say I've made it through a Thanksgiving while on a diet. Did I make every healthy choice? No. But I totally exhibited self control while enjoying delicious food for ONE SPECIAL DAY of indulgence. I started the day with a Nutrisystem breakfast bar and a fast paced cardio workout on the elliptical. I got off the subway a few stops early and walked to work. I had two slices of dried mango at work and shared a small pumpkin cupcake with a friend at work to keep me going and then I used the rest of my calories for the day on dinner. I had a slice of turkey, two spoons of sweet potato casserole, green beans, spinach, a spoon full of mac & cheese, a cup of apple cider and a piece of pumpkin crumb cake. After dinner, we all did salsa dancing in the living room since I was celebrating with a bunch of dancers and choreographers. It was pretty wild and not what I'm used to when celebrating with my own family, but certainly a lot of fun! In the end I only put on .2 lbs after the whole active day and today I hopped right back on my diet plan. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize and to not fall of the wagon. Hope everyone enjoyed the day and is back on track today!