10 Ways to Get Back On Track with Your Diet

So many people fall off the diet wagon and give up completely. 

Think about the first time you were faced with the "Game Over" screen. Did you rage quit and never pick up the controller again? If you're like me, you said to yourself, "Ef this, I'm gonna win this thing!" Then you restarted the level. So why should your diet be any different? Sure, "losing" at your diet can be just so damn DELICIOUS whereas losing in a video game results in rage mode, but in the end it's all the same. You set a goal. You worked hard at it and you fell short. It doesn't mean the goal goes away. It's still there waiting for you. All you have to do is press reset.

For some reason that "reset button" is really hard to push when it comes to diets. Everything is a choice and the more you practice moving back and forth between planned indulgence and healthy choices, the easier it is to return to your diet. Getting back on track is a mental muscle and it's just as important as any that you'll flex in the gym. 

So many people tell me they're "all or nothing," and I definitely struggled with that for a long time. I was either 100% perfect or I utterly fell apart and just destroyed myself with bad choices. It's impossible to keep the "all or nothing" attitude up forever. It's time to accept your humanity. 

Newsflash: YOU ARE IMPERFECT. Le gasp!

At some point you're going to slip or just really want a cupcake. It all comes down to a choice. How you handle what follows that choice that will determine how successful you are with your weight loss. 

So, what I've decided to do is give you my ten tips for getting back on track with your diet. Hopefully this will make that reset button a little easier to push.

1. Assess: Why did you choose to slip? Were you putting too much pressure on yourself? Are there emotional stress factors that are overwhelming you? If you can target the "why," you'll be able to heal whatever is really ailing you. If you don't take time to do this step, then you're shooting yourself in the foot. Cheating on a diet can be symptom of other things that you need to confront and heal in your life so look at it as an opportunity get healthy in other ways.
2. Forgive Yourself: Once you've put your finger on the source of your slip and you've thought about it and how you can improve whatever is ailing you, forgive yourself. If you keep beating yourself up, you're just putting MORE pressure on the situation- pressure that could lead you down the road to other bad decisions. Rest in the knowledge that you've done right by yourself in the "Assess" phase and start putting one foot in front of the other again.
3. Decide: This sounds silly, but you have to DECIDE to get back on track. You can sit around and say "I should do more to fix my health issues" all day long. I gotta tell you, it's not the same as DOING something about it. What day are you re-starting the level? What hour? Right now? Good! Now go! Stop putting it off and making excuses! That is a long slippery slope and do you want to know the worst part? You're smart, so you'll watch yourself making excuses and start hating yourself even more for lying to yourself. What are you waiting for, Player 1? PRESS START!
4. Purge: You've been relaxing. Eating whatever. I'm willing to bet there are half eaten bags of candy by the couch and leftover pizza in the fridge. Cookies in the jar? Do whatever you have to do to get rid of that stuff. I'd say toss it, but if you eat it, you eat it. Invite someone over for a leftover party. Give it to your room mate. Just get it gone and don't buy more.
5. Create A Comfortable Environment: Environment is everything for me. If I'm trying to get back on track and I walk into a house littered with the refuse of my bad behavior, I have a much harder time readopting better habits. After you've purged the house of any leftover bad food, create the best possible environment for your success. Clean your room, wash the dishes in the kitchen. Do you have all the pots and pans you need for cooking? Does your scale have batteries in it? Are your running clothes season-appropriate?
6. Find Other Indulgences: Even if you create the perfect environment for success, you'll still get cravings. They don't just go away. Find stuff other than food that makes you happy. Is there a new video game coming out that you're dying to sink your teeth into? A book you've been waiting to read? A spa treatment that's absolutely to die for? Every time you want all the cupcakes in the land, start doing one of those other things. Nine times out of ten, they'll distract you enough that you'll forget all about what you were craving.
7. Grocery Shopping: You've purged your house of bad foods, now its time to fill your coffers with delicious healthy food. Make sure you have everything you need to cook food for yourself for the next week. When I already have fresh fruits, veggies, plus a list of healthy recipes I want to try and all their ingredients all at my finger tips, I'm way less tempted to run to the corner for Pad Thai. If you're looking for great healthy recipes that you can make easily, quickly and on a budget, I refer you to this Nerd Fitness article written by my Paleo cooking guru, Catspaw. 
8. Track Everything: Get back on the scale. Take your measurements. Track your calories or keep a food journal. Make sure you're getting at least 64 oz of water a day. Just stay accountable. When I fall of the wagon I go off the grid. It's fine, but when it's over it's over. I need to start seeing what I'm eating or I'll go wild and pretend it's not happening. Seeing your choices can be as encouraging as it can be chastening. When you look at your week and see you've kept completely Paleo for four days without realizing it, you'll be so proud of yourself for making all those good choices! 
9. One Week Cleanse: Once you have your diet plan in place and you've prepped your home and your kitchen, it's time to stick to it completely for one week. This is more of a mental cleanse than a physical one, but the idea is to make good choices for a full week after whatever slip you may have had. This is to prove to yourself that, well, that's all it was, "just a slip." It wasn't a derailment. You're still plowing ahead and committed. How do you know? Cause you've been back at it for a week! Good for you! I'd throw confetti if I could. How about another week? Challenge accepted.
10. Recommit to Your Exercise Plan: Diet is only part of health equation. When I eat like crap, it makes me feel lazy and going to the gym seems super lame. I swear it's like magic- or science even! Make sure you get back out there during that one week cleanse period. Don't worry if you've backslid with your fitness, just get yourself back in the habit of going. The rest will follow. 

Ah, there it is, the reset button.

Now press start!

Primal Chai Iced Tea Recipe

One of the things I loved the most on the food bender I allowed myself last week was drinking Iced Chai Lattes at will. I've already espoused my love for Chai on the blog, but it's only grown exponentially since then. With the onset of summer, I have to move away from hot tea (or risk baking myself in the heat). I like iced coffee, but I just don't think I can live 3 months without Chai in my life. I'm that obsessed. Chai tea is one thing but dumping lattes down my gullet non-stop is a big no no, especially for my Primal diet. 

So, I set about devising the following recipe for Chai Iced Tea that comes in around 8 calories per serving as opposed to the 150 usually found in a small skim Chai latte. Pretty snazzy, huh? I can tell you this is one of the simplest recipes I've ever made and one of the best tasting, sweet tooth satisfying treats ever. At only 8 calories a serving, there's no harm in getting a little addicted. Prepare thine gullets, fair readers! Chai deliciousness incoming!

Serves:
About 8 and is good for one week if refrigerated.

Ingredients:
5 cups boiling water
4 cups cold water
12 Chai teabags
Almond Milk
Stevia or honey for sweetener

Total time: 10 minutes of prep, 2 hours of refrigeration.

1. Bring 5 cups of water to a boil.
2. Steep all 12 teabags in the pot for approximately five minutes. Don't leave them in much longer even if you like strong tea because it will create a very bitter aftertaste. 
   
3. Remove and carefully strain the teabags through a slotted spoon.
   
4. Stir in the desired amount of stevia or honey for the whole batch. I like 2 packets per cup, but if your tastes differ, then go for whatever works for you. Stir till all the sweetener is completely dissolved. 
5. Pour the steeped tea into a pitcher and stir in the four cups of cold water.
   
6. Refrigerate for about 2 hours, or until cold.
7. Serve over ice with a splash of almond milk!

Bend, Don't Break

Hi, my name is Anne, and I've been on a food bender for the last week.

Pizza.

Burgers.

Ice cream.

Sandwiches.

Breakfast pastries.

Cupcakes.

Chai Lattes.

I gave myself a pass because I thought I could just get the urge to emotionally binge out of my system- sorta like forcing a kid to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes after you catch them sneaking one.

Thus, I gave myself a week long "foodcation" to have all the things I have missed. On this, the eve of my return to better health, let me tell you what I've learned. 

I can't wait to eat REAL food again.

Seriously.

Fries? I remember them being a lot better than they are. Pizza makes my belly feel heavy and uncomfortably bloated. Sandwiches are great, but I would rather have half than whole. The bread fills me up too fast. It's really what's INSIDE the sandwich that provides the flavor. Next time I'll just eat some turkey. Breakfast pastries are nice, but I've realized they're only worth the calories when they're fresh so it's worth saving them for treats and seeking out really great bakeries on those occassions. Cupcakes are amazing, but simpler and smaller is better. Again, gourmet is the way to go when you get the chance. After a while things stop tasting interesting and everything is just a wash of bread and sugar. 

I've been sluggish. I eat this crap and get the urge to sleep immediately afterwards. I'm writing this blog at 11:24PM because I ate an apple, brie, cranberry, and honey sandwich that caused me to fall asleep while binge watching Arrested Development at 5PM! I never felt that randomly exhausted after a proper meal. This whole week, it has felt like my brain was rebelling against me- like it was repeatedly pressing the snooze button. Giving tours when your mind is ten steps behind you is torture.

When I touch my stomach, it feels BRUISED from being filled with food that doesn't digest easily over the last week.

I also noticed that during this "free period," never did I ever once desire/consume alcohol. 

Lastly, I discovered that working out after filling your body with crap is WAY harder than working out after priming your body with a protein rich breakfast of whole foods. Eating shitty food does not make you want to work out. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy of laziness. You eat stuff you shouldn't and then to make matters worse, it doesn't even put you in the frame of mind where you WANT to work out. How lame is that?

Also, just so you guys know: Food does not make you feel any better about your shitty life. SHOCKER. Even after eating ice cream, you're just sad and filled with dairy and sugar. It changes nothing except that it makes you feel even worse for putting crap in your body on top of everything else. 

So will I never crave any of this stuff again? Of course I will. However, I feel like I successfully proved to myself how much my palette has changed. These cravings are completely mental now because I know what I really want, how this food makes me feel, and how I'd prefer to fuel my body. Did this set me back weight loss wise? Sure, but this was temporary and the small amount of weight I gained will drop away when I get back to my routine. 

Knowledge wise, I feel like this was a right of passage I really needed. It's amazing to feel how much my body is rejecting my old habits and craving the return to my new ones. The key to this whole experiment was to bend for one week so I wouldn't break. I was feeling like I could never have any of that stuff ever again. I was afraid of food and afraid of treats. I felt like I was limiting myself too much and I wondered how I'd ever be able to adjust to Paleo/Primal if I was constantly craving bread and cheese. My emotional stress was driving me crazy and I wanted to eat all the things. Rather than just throw up my hands and give up, essentially breaking and causing MAJOR damage to my body and my psyche, I decided to make a plan with calculated risks so I could get a sense of how hard it would be to really give up all of the foods that going Primal is going to cut out of my life.

Note: I never would have have done this had I not known that I'd have no problem getting back into the swing of things, so I'm not recommending this course of action for anyone who just started a diet and really wants an order of cheese fries. I've been working at this for almost a year now and I know I have no problem returning to my health plan. This is not me telling you, "Sure, live a little and cheat on your diet when you feel like it." If you adopt that excuse, you'll completely sabotage all your hard work. However, if you're on a diet and you've been doing everything right for an extended amount of time and that desire for a burger has been dogging you every day for a month to the point where it's driving you crazy, maybe it's time to get in a good workout, eat a nice salad for lunch and then treat yourself to the best burger you can find so you can get the craving out of your system and refocus your attention on healthier stuff afterwards. Sometimes we have to bend a little so that we don't break and destroy everything we've worked for. 

No matter what, this whole "health thing" is all about what you want to do. It all comes down to your choice. So whatever you decide, own it and learn from it.

Which Diet Tools are Worth Your Money?

I spend a lot of time whining about not having enough money for things and I know there are ton of people out there who make the excuse that weight loss and eating healthy is too expensive. I won't lie to you and say that it's completely free (it hasn't been for me), but you can make well-informed decisions on what products are worth your hard earned cash. 

As someone who would rather spend her tax return on funding her cosplay adventures for the year than on practical household goods, here are the products I have discovered are "must haves" for those interested in doing more cooking and getting healthy. I'm started researching this article from the perspective of someone preparing to eat Primal but I've included recommendations from others who have succeeded in the areas of healthy weight loss and fitness.

Primal Pacs

I live in NYC. I'm on the go and when I'm at work I have to carry food in my pocket and get it down my gullet when I get a spare moment because I don't always get a break. One of my Nerd Fitness Rebel pals suggested Primal Pacs when I asked for jerky recommendations. This product not cheap, but the quality is high and it's perfect for being on the go and without a refrigerator. You can order the grass fed jerky or snack packs with a mixture of jerky, nuts, and dried fruit in large or small bags depending on your needs! You can check out the prices and more information on their website.

Weight Watchers 

I have friends that swear by their online program. They've lost the weight and kept it off. Similar to how I love to use Fitbit to count calories and make sure I'm staying in my deficit zone, the Weight Watchers app offers great on-the-go support to keep you on track and flexible in the real world. Plus if you hate calorie counting, then this could be a great way to stay accountable without the pressure of having to look up estimates constantly. The program accounts for any activity and exercise you log by rewarding you extra points to spend on food. It costs  $48 per month or $65 for 3 months. You can find more information on their site.

Fitbit

This device has changed my life and my diet plan. While I feel way more in control, I also feel a greater sense of freedom. I can monitor my statistics as they happen, I can log food and activity, and be flexible when I need to. Plus, there's no subscription fees for the online program and app. You buy the device for between $45 and $100+ depending on the model you select, and voila! You're ready to roll. I could spend all day espousing the benefits of Fitbit, but I already did that in my review so if you're interested in learning more, you can check it out.

Fit & Fresh 

When it comes to your health, fresh is always better! Primal and Paleo eaters swear by this Fit & Fresh lunch container set when it comes to bringing their meats, veggies, salads, etc to work. This set includes multiple high quality containers to keep everything separate and organized in bento box style plus a cold pack that will keep your food from wilting or going bad if you don't have access to a fridge. You can get it all for $9.09 on Target's website. The price is certainly right!

Dressing-2-Go

I love salads and the only reason I don't take them on the go is wilting (which I addressed with the previous item!) and the fact that I can't portion out my dressing and easily keep it separate. Well, with these little 2 tbs squeeze bottles, I can put my dressings in the bottle and pop them into my Fit & Fresh set so that they will stay cool until I'm ready to use them on my salad! Problem solved for just $7.38 by ordering from this website. 

Food Scale 

It's more important than people realize to measure food when you're on a diet. Learning correct portion sizes is instrumental in discovering how to get the most use out of the calories you have to spend for the day and when you start cooking for yourself, a food scale can help you ensure that when you say you're eating 2 oz of chicken, you actually are. I found I was so afraid of "over" feeding myself that I severely underestimated when it came to weight/portions of solid food and veggies which means I went into starvation mode and my weight loss slowed for months because I wasn't getting enough food. There's a lot of estimating when it comes to calorie counts and you can reduce the guess work exponentially by putting your money where your mouth is, literally. Measuring cups and spoons will only get you so far because measuring liquids is different than measuring solid food. You can pick up a good, affordable food scale from Amazon for just $25.

Paleo Central 

If you are considering a switch to Paleo or Primal, then this app is absolutely essential. You can enter any food or components of a recipe and it will tell you whether it's Paleo or not. It tells you what you can or can't eat in the most simple ways and will give you insight into borderline foods all for $.99 on the iTunes store. There's an Android app available as well.

If you have any recommendations for our fellow Slayers here at Project Reroll, please leave them in the comments!

Embrace Your Inner Rogue: Get Paid

Today's post is going to be a bit of a departure from focusing on the physical and nutritional side of weight loss. After all, you're weight and fitness are not the only elements that determine your happiness. There's this sneaky little bastard called "Quality of Life" and I'm finding that it's pretty important too. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been experiencing a lot of stress because it feels like my creative career is going nowhere. I can create things all I want, but if I can't figure out how to monetize my creative endeavors or the skills I use to create them, then how can I expect to pay the bills by doing what I love? Yes, dear readers. It would seem I have a few more stats to reroll on this here quest for greatness.

As actors we're taught to take any job that will have us at the beginning of our careers. Get out there, get the experience, get the exposure, and eventually it will fall into place. Maybe I'm luckier than I give myself credit for, but I have no problem finding unpaid gigs. I've been doing them for years. For every paid acting job I've had, I've probably had eight unpaid full scale productions in which I've been abused by directors, other actors, or frankly, just plain knocked around by an overall unprofessional process. I'm not saying I didn't learn from these experiences or didn't benefit at all, but for the most part, I gained roles to put on my resume and nothing else. That's not without value, but at a certain point, you have to ask yourself if it's worth the time and the energy to commit yourself to unpaid pursuits with guaranteed experience vs. working less, but being able to focus all of your energy on getting those elusive paid opportunities. 

This goes for writing as well. I've been so honored to have so many fellow bloggers ask me to join their staff of unpaid writers/reviewers, but at this point, I don't have have any more time to pour into more unpaid work. I'm organizing the future of Project Reroll so that my amazing community of readers can flourish and share what they've learned on their own health journeys. I already review and discuss geeky topics as an occasional guest-host with my friends on the Anomaly Podcast (which you need to check out if you haven't!). Plus, I am currently managing a very lengthy and involved post production process on a web series that I wrote/produced with a friend. When I turn down these unpaid opportunities, I'm not being snobby. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me not to get paid for any more extra time and effort. My dance card is pretty darn full.

I know I'm not the only artist or entrepreneur going through this struggle, but over the last few days I've realized something surprising. I might be the one who is standing in my way. How am I supposed to receive currency in exchange for goods if I'm afraid to place an actual value on my skills. Obviously, waiting for someone to pay me for things that I've very publicly given away for free is a terrible marketing plan. 

So here's my new goal; It's time to embrace my inner rogue. Would Jayne Cobb work for free? Even Han Solo wanted pay for his fair cut for saving Princess Leia from the Death Star. Bronn might give Tyrion color commentary for free but when it comes to his sword, he's paid to use it in Lannister gold. Well boys, step aside. There's a new rogue for hire in town and her name is Anne!

So how to start on this quest? Like any of the other skills I've "rerolled," I started by creating steps to help me break down my overall goal into more manageable bite sized pieces.

• Step 1: Determine my marketable skills and be prepared to place an actual value on them. For me these would be acting, writing, and creativity/life coaching. I'm going to think very critically about how to turn these skills into marketable business ventures and place actual values on them so that I can charge for my services. When you fear no one will ask you how much you're worth, it doesn't seem worth going to the trouble to price your skills, but if you don't, then you'll be caught with your pants down when someone does! The ensuing frazzlement could lose you the gig... and they may be confused by your lack of pants. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't cut deals for friends or for projects that I really want to do, but then I'll be ready when someone says, well how much do you charge for that? 
• Step 2: Do some research on what you should charge. If you get confused or nervous about what you can ask for when it comes to compensation, look into what your peers are charging and how they've managed to get paid jobs in their fields. For me this will mean looking at people I know with similar experience levels who are getting paid and seeing how I can emulate or even undercut them when it comes to price. This step comes to you directly from my uncanny ability to "win" at the Auction House in every MMO ever. Time to get some real-life bags of gold. Lok'tar Ogar, people.
• Step 3: Be prepared to negotiate and to face conflict. You need to accept the fact that with this new great power to get paid for your work will come more responsibility on your part. If people are actually paying you, they'll have every right to be demanding of your time. You'll have to develop firm hand when it comes to scheduling you're time and dealing with clients. You'll need to come to the table with a strong sense of self and what you do. If you can't face conflict productively or negotiate business deals without collapsing in on yourself like a dying star, then being an entrepreneur isn't for you. You are the CEO, the production line, and customer service rep all in one. You'll get all the praise, all the cash, and all the grief so you have to prepare yourself to deal with all of that. 
  



By Wosukoart on Deviant Art

• Step 4: Update Your Websites/Create a Store. When you embrace your inner goblin and start shamelessly hawking your wares with a hearty, "I got what you need," you'll need somewhere to direct your traffic. For me, that will mean creating a public listing of my services so that I can give someone my business card with a quick pitch and then send them to my website for a more detailed breakdown of what I'm prepared to offer them. This ties in with the first step of figuring out what you can sell, but in this case, you'll also have to think about how you're going to make it the most appealing deal your client can find. 

Clearly I'm at the beginning of this process and I have no business talking like a know-it-all about this stuff, but this is where I am with it right now. I'll post more about this as I move through the steps and hopefully my depression will dissipate as I make a more active effort to handle this stressful issue in my life. I hope my conclusions and my process provide some inspiration if anyone else in a similar conundrum. If you have any advice for me or other readers, please leave it in the comments!

Killer Guacamole Recipe

I mentioned this in Monday's blog post, but I am loving using Guacamole as a dressing on my salad. Of course you can easily buy guacamole at your local grocery store, but it probably has preservatives and a few other ingredients that you want to avoid if you're trying to eat paleo or primal.

There's only one man I turn to when I want good guac, and that's my father- or as he's been referenced before on the blog, Caldephron, Lord of the Moon, your friendly lvl 1 Night Elf Druid. He never made it off of Teldrassil, but damn can he cook. 

Caldephron's Paleo Guacamole

Serves: 4 people

Ingredients:

• 4 Avocados 
• 1 lime
• 1 Small tomato
• 12 sprigs fresh cilantro
• 1/4 Cup finely chopped onions 
• 1/4 tsp ground cumin
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4 Nacho slices (jarred pickled mild or
  medium Jalapenos), finely chopped
• 2 Cloves crushed garlic
• 1/8-1/4 Cup extra virgin olive oil

1. Take your cilantro sprigs, remove the leaves and chop them up. Next, chop up your tomato, onions, Nacho slices, and garlic and dump the ingredients in a mixing bowl.
2. Add in your cumin and salt.
3. Cut the avocados in half. Easily remove the seed by giving the seed a quick rap with a sharp knife. If you twist, the seed will come right out. Hand chop or mash the avocado in a SEPARATE mixing bowl.
4. Add the olive oil and freshly squeezed lime juice to your avocado. You want to be sparing with the olive oil so only add it as needed to get your desired consistency. 
5. If you're ready to serve, then mix the ingredients from both bowls together and enjoy! If you're looking to use the mixture over the next few days, cover the two bowls with saran wrap. Store refrigerator and mix in the portions you want as needed. It only keeps for a few days so keep that in mind. If the avocado mixture begins to brown, you can scrape the brown bits off the top (it's only a reaction to oxidation).
6. If you need to keep it longer term, create the avocado mixture, freeze in airtight bags. Then you can thaw out your portions as needed and add in the fresh ingredients when you're ready to eat it.

L2 Boldy Go, Noob

I've been in a really dark place lately. Crazy mood swings, battling severe sweets cravings, not making much progress with my workouts (still doing them!), missing my boyfriend (I know... how emo can I get?), wondering what I'm doing with my life, freaking out over my lack of acting career- you get the picture. It's like walking through molasses... but without being able to eat any of it. Bummer.

My friends very sweetly remind me that I've made some huge strides in my life during the past year. Health wise, I can't deny that it's like I'm a different person. That's just one aspect of my life though and I just feel like a directionless fool most of the time. I try to follow my passions and honor what I love in life, but as far as monetizing my skill sets, I feel like I'm reaching a glass ceiling. What was all my book learnin' even for? If I get healthy, great... but if there's still a mediocre life waiting for me once I get to my goal weight and start maintaining, how the hell am I supposed to stay motivated to be the best me I can be?

This kind of thinking is circular and while I know it does happen to us all from time to time, it's important not to let it take over because it's not productive. I have to stop it before it stops me.

What does all this have to do with Star Trek? The only thing that has successfully helped me decompress is watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with a big mug of Chai tea. Every time the intro played, I thought about words issued by the rich voice of Sir Patrick Stewart.

"To explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life; to boldly go where no man has gone before." Star Trek encourages us to celebrate the spirit of exploration, regardless of the results. After listening to those words over and over, I realized that I should be focusing on what I can do to make my life better rather than all the things that are holding me back or seem to be going wrong. After all, without that will to "go boldly," there won't be any results to speak of. Ergo, the answer to my depressed malaise must be to inject my days with a reinvigorated zest for trying new things.

Research into my upcoming shift to eating/living Primal has certainly given me something new to focus on and has renewed my excitement about what I'm eating/cooking. I've been making huge salads lately and making the shift away from low fat dressings to using avocado or even guacamole. It's amazing how tasty that is. TRY IT IMMEDIATELY!

When I went home, I made it my goal to get in all my workouts to prove that even on vacation, I can make time for my health. I also tried to get my family out on walks and as active as possible. My parents are participating in the walk to Mordor, but they're way behind on our goal to finish by the end of the year so I figured this might encourage them to see what a little extra time spent on simple activity could do for their Fitbit statistics. We did tons of walks both in Chicago and in Michigan and we even took our dogs on a few of them, which was fun.

While away, I realized that breaking up my routine is actually a great thing for stress relief. My mood was vastly improved by taking runs through areas I wasn't familiar with. Maybe my run times weren't as good but it was a nice way to experience the environment and feel a revitalized sense of fun in my workouts. I'm getting that in spades right now because I'm house sitting for my friends who live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan right near Riverside Park while they're abroad in Japan . I'll be here for the next few weeks and the park has gotten me really pumped for my runs, though it's certainly more hilly than I'm used to. However, this halfling does have to be a bit wary as I run past Isengard. There be ORCSES in them thar hills!

I'm also taking care of their kitties, Vivi and Eiko. Despite feeling a little isolated right now  , it's been really fun to have those two around for cuddles, playtime, and light one sided conversation (they're good listeners. DON'T JUDGE ME!). Sadly I don't think there are kittens or puppies in my future at home because of the expense and my inability to keep a steady schedule, but at least for now I have these two cuties to keep me company. It definitely breaks up the tedium of a boring evening alone after an exhausting day of work.

To top it all off, I had a chance to hang with some fellow Nerd Fitness rebels today! I met up with one of them earlier in the day and we enjoyed the near perfect weather as we strolled through Central Park. We even discovered there was a celebration called "Japan Day" going on with tons of cosplayers, traditional entertainment, and free food. Later, we met up up with two more forum members at Brooklyn Boulders to do some rock climbing! I had no idea this place even existed and it as soon as we walked in, it just felt like a giant playground for adults. 

I was really nervous because every time I've tried rock climbing, I've made it a few feet into the air and just hung there in terror until my forearms gave out under the immense stress of my weight. I was sort of nervous the same thing would happen this time and I'd become the red-headed step child of the trendy fit kids club. I knew my new comrades wouldn't really judge me, but I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to criticism and shame spirals (if you hadn't noticed!).

Instead this happened.

When will I learn not to sell myself short? Apparently never.

Tomorrow a bunch of us rebels are meeting up with even more forum members and forming our own "away team" for a day of New York sightseeing and exploration! I'm looking forward to wracking up the miles on my Fitbit, making new friends, and putting my non-deficit day to good use when we settle in for some good vittles! Of course, I have to earn the right to "play" by paying the price in the morning with a four mile Zombies, Run session.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I know I haven't fixed all of the things that are leaving this dark cloud over my head. They're still present, but I'm not letting them stop me from seeing the potential that the world has to offer me. I'm still boldly going where no Anne has gone before and I don't intend to stop any time soon.

...See what I did there?