Cosplay Progress and Halloween Hullabaloo

My Appa cosplay for New York Comic Con is coming along pretty well and I've also started preparing for Halloween too. Lot's of sewing, which I didn't know how to do before so hooray for learning how to do new things. Just need to attach the false arms to the bracers and run an invisible line between them so they'll move along with my regular arms, remake the horns a lot smaller, and then maybe sew an elbow joint into the arms to make them move more naturally. Lots of work but it will all be worth it! As far as Halloween goes, I'm lucky enough to be relying on the immeasurable skills of my friend Agatha who makes our group of friends themed costumes every year. This year's theme: Mortal Kombat. I wish I could say that I'm super into it. I love video games, but I'm not really a huge fighting game fan. I'm going to be Sindel, the banshee! She wears purple, which is my favorite color, so I was willing to capitulate to the overall desire of the group to do that theme. I know Agatha will alter the more naked aspects of my costume that make me nervous so that I'll be comfortable. It's not that I don't like nakedness. There are just still parts of my body that I'm really uncomfortable with exposing to the world! This is mostly about having fun with everyone and taking awesome pictures and I didn't want to be the thorn in anyone's side just because I was afraid of not looking like the character and not being able to show enough skin to do her justice. When we're all dressed up, I know we're going to look amazing. Agatha always makes sure of that! 

You Slimy-Double-Crossing-No-Good-Swindler!

Well. Last night was the first time that I ACTIVELY cheated on my diet since starting Nutrisystem. I didn't go off the deep end or anything but when my boyfriend showed up to the sushi restaurant, he said that he'd rather go somewhere he hadn't gone before so I quickly had to change my plans and got thrown for a bit of a loop. We ended up going to Veselka, a Polish restaurant down the street, which is really good, but everything on the menu was pretty starchy. I probably should have gone with a simple salad, but it had been a really long day giving tours and the rain had been abysmal and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Plus they didn't have any lowfat dressings and the additions to the salads seemed really out of control. Long and short was: I wanted some comfort food. So I got a vegetarian platter with mushroom stuffed cabbage and perogies that came with a salad and matzah ball soup. I ate the whole garden salad without dressing. I had the soup part of the matzah ball soup and just a few bites of the ball in the center and then two of the four cheese perogies and half of the cabbage, which was COVERED in mushroom gravy which I scraped most of off. 

In any case I exhibited some self control and portion sense in how I went about enjoying the delicious meal that arrived at the table... but after dinner, Brandon really wanted desert. Well across the street, was MUD coffee. We went in, found a quiet table and we decided to share a brownie and he ordered some hot chocolate as well. I knew I could only have a few bites because it would be so rich, but after the day that I'd had... I REALLY wanted some. Ugh. So I did end up having four or five bites and a sip of his hot chocolate. But that combined with a dinner that I felt really pushed it in terms of flexing on the plan, really made me feel guilty. 

Anyways, I've been weighing myself every day (just to keep myself honest), and I couldn't resist stepping on the scale this morning to see the damage I'd done. I felt like I owed it to my progress to face up to my cheating in the light of day. Turns out I lost .2 lbs yesterday. 

Who's SCRUFFY LOOKING NOW, CONSCIENCE!?

I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad because I didn't gain anything, but given the fact that I've been sort of struggling through a plateau, I felt like today was not the time to cheat. Anyways. It's nose to the grindstone today. I'm not going to let this get to me because it's a new day and I can always make better choices, but I felt like I should chronicle the experience and hold myself accountable for it instead of sweeping it under the rug. So there you have it. I'm a cheater now. :( I know it's a milestone that we all face at some point, but I suppose what I wanted to say is:

"Just because you make a poor choice one day, doesn't mean you can't do better the next."

Still Flying

I didn't want to post last weigh-in because I hadn't lost any weight. Not one pound. It really got to me. I mean I've been working my ass off, packing my food, and forgoing all temptations during social engagements and it just made me really frustrated that I hadn't dropped anything. I just kept telling myself that for the past three weeks, I've been losing 3-4 lbs every weigh-in and that my body was probably just trying to catch up, not to mention the positive side which is that I didn't GAIN anything. Meh. Anyways. I was sad, OK? Sue me. :)

Today I was thinking about how this is a life change and not just a means to an end. When I really think about what I've accomplished so far, I can be proud of that, and I shouldn't beat myself up because I didn't go backwards. I'm physical every day of my life now, which I definitely wasn't before. On days when I work, I don't necessarily make it to the gym because of my commute, but at work I give tours that require me to walk at least 3 miles a day. On other days, I go to the gym and I push myself. On Sunday, the guy I'm dating took me to Central Park and taught me how to longboard. I would NEVER have gone on a date that required me to do physical activity before because I was so embarrassed. Plus, it was really fun (even though I took a few spills due to my abundance of clumsiness! Ha!). Also. Rewind. I'm dating someone? WHAT?! That's crazy! And he's awesome, intelligent, and treats me well. Let's just focus on that for a second. Usually I let myself get bullied by the guys I've dated but I don't ever worry about that with him. ::grins like a loon:: Progress made, if you ask me!

I've been so focused on the scale and the plan and entering all of this info into my calorie tracker app and the Nutrisystem website, that I haven't opened my eyes to the real changes that are happening in my life and the support of everyone around me. So I decided for this week, I'd let myself weigh in every day despite the frustrations of fluctuations (cause I feel like it keeps me from doing tempting things because "I'll just work it off by weigh-in"), but I wouldn't enter any of the food info into my tracker app on my phone. I would just do the plan as I've been doing it for the past 3.5 months. I know what to do and what I need. Sidebar: I wouldn't recommend that to someone just starting the program, but with where I'm at, I feel confident in that decision since it's just a week long exercise before I'll get back to my old way of doing things. Anyways! We'll see how it goes. As a result, the scale did nudge down .8 pounds today so yippity skippity! And! My dad said if I lose 10 more lbs, he'd get me a longboard, since I enjoyed it so much the other day. So huzzah! Thinking positively about myself from here on out. 

Never Give Up. Never Surrender

Another week, another 4 lbs GONE! Just 1.2 lbs from my 30 lbs lost weightloss goal for New York Comic Con (which is just a little over a month away). I'm not one to count chickens before they hatch, but it looks like I'll be CRUSHING that goal, which is exciting. 

I've been sick this week, but I still went to the gym. There is nothing worse than exercising whilst you're sick. I've only been able to muscle in a half hour on the elliptical for the last few days. It was definitely a struggle for me and I really felt unable to go at it the way that I normally do. At least I did SOMETHING instead of throwing in the towel. Hopefully I can lick this cold and get back in fighting shape. It's slow season for work so I'm only scheduled a few days this week. I'll be buckling down at the gym and pushing myself to get back to where I was before the storm of sick hit me.

I also realized when I weighed myself that I was due to put in measurements for the month. Last month, I sort of winged it, but I wanted to make sure I was doing it right so I looked up how to do it on YouTube and found I was measuring the waist wrong and that I was supposed to include the love handles and cross over the belly button, as opposed to the thinnest part of my torso which is just a few inches below my bust. So sadly, that added 7 inches to my waist measurement, BUT I lost about 7.5 inches from all the other areas combined. I'm sure, had I measured the waist correctly, then I would have lost there too instead of gained. Measurements are so important because sometimes when the scale won't move, they will. I can be a really great motivator in the midst of a plateau.

Anywho! Nose the grindstone! I'm off to the gym.

25 lbs Lost: The Suck-It-Corset-Saga

I already wrote about last weekend's trip, but I wanted to post again because as of yesterday, my corset laced all the way up this week! How bananas is that?! I'm actually sort of nervous it won't fit next year since I fully intend on seeing this journey all the way to the end. Anyways! I just wanted to share this "yippee" moment. Only 5 more lbs till my next goal of 30 lbs lost for New York Comic Con in October. I'm gonna kill it! :)

My newest skill set is eating responsibly when I'm straying from the Nutrisystem plan during outings. I definitely spend time preparing myself for the choices I'll have to make. Planning everything ahead of time is really key to being responsible. It means that I make everything from a healthy frame of mind rather than being easily swayed by temptation in the moment.

Motivational Thinking: I Have Many Skills

There are things I've started to tell myself to stay on track when things get hard or food gets tempting. In the past, being a stickler about having to do the same thing every day has caused me to lose large amounts of weight in the beginning, but resulted in a failure later on when I'm not able to continue measuring up to my own incredibly high standards. After all, no two days are the same, so if you limit yourself to certain behaviors performed in an exact order every day, there's only so long you can carry on before you start to feel trapped by the process. The key difference here is that I've been educating myself on how to be more active and how to supplement the Nutrisystem program so that if I do have to adjust, I have more options for strategies and solutions at my finger tips. This time around, I'm allowing myself to be more flexible and adopting a "slow and steady wins the race" mentality so that I can focus on lasting life-style changes rather than yo-yoing down so fast that I fail to maintain the weightloss and shoot up higher than I was in the first place. It's the difference between Jedi and Sith training.

So without further ado, here are some of my go-to motivational mantras:

• You can sleep in, but then you have to go to the gym after work and work twice as hard.
• You never regret going to the gym, but you do regret not going.
• If you want to eat off of your specific diet plan, then PLAN how you're going to do it so that you're not undoing the hard work you've done. On these "indulgence" days, you MUST go to the gym. 
• If you're dreading your typical boring workout, you don't have to do it. BUT! You do have to go to the gym and take a class.
• If you have a setback, let it go and move forward. You're not going to undo a mistake by harping on the past. The only thing that will undo a setback is what you DO in the present and plan to do in the future. 
• What do we say to the god of giving up?

Buy this print on Society Six

Those are just a few of the sentiments I've been using to push myself through rough spots. If you have more that you use to keep your motivation up, please feel free to post them in the comments!

NY Ren Faire Boss: Defeated!

This past week has been extremely fun, stressful, and awesome.

This was the countdown to my first mini goal: 20 lbs lost by the time I went to the Renaissance Faire so I could enjoy my new garb and feel like I looked better than I did last year in all the pictures. For a while there, I was losing only 2 lbs a week and I wasn't sure if I would make it, but I did see the differences taking effect in my body so I knew I could be proud of that if I didn't make it. This past week was also the first time I ate off the plan because I've sorta started dating someone and it's hard to do that when you have all your meals on Nutrisystem. I've really done my best to stay on track, but rather than go to the gym every day, I went 5 days and did a ton of walking on the others.

P.S. The guy is awesome and totally supportive of my journey. Tall, handsome, intelligent, funny as hell, loves musicals- WHERE DID HE COME FROM? ANNE PLANET? We had SO much fun on our first date walking around Greenwich Village, going to Forbidden Planet, the Halloween store, and eating sushi. YUM. Who knows? This one could be a keeper, methinks. ;) I digress.

On the stressful side of the spectrum, I had some emotional issues to deal with concerning a huge fall-out with the artistic director of the theater company I have been supporting and working for over the last two years. I won't use any names to protect the integrity of those involved and the future of the company, but I will say that I was ultimately was fired from the company for things I didn't do. There was a huge embarrassing confrontation started by the director in front of the entire cast and the audience at our last performance. I was very hurt and upset by the unjust accusations made by his loose cannon behavior. He's a manic depressive who doesn't take his medication because he feels it stifles his creativity and he just decided to turn on me for absolutely no reason at all and spread slanderous remarks about me as a person and a professional. I'm sure you can understand why I'd be so hurt given the circumstances of my dismissal from the company. Normally, I would have turned to food for some comfort but I just told myself that I'd only be more upset if I undid all of the hard work I've put in. You can't control what other people do or how they treat you. You can only control your own behavior and reactions. As hard as it was, I did conquer the urge to "carb it up" for comfort.

Even so, I've been far less stringent this week and while I've been proud of the choices I've made, I was really concerned that I would see negative results on the scale come weigh in day.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I weighed in Saturday morning and discovered that I'd lost 4 lbs this week! I surpassed my 20-lbs-lost goal by one pound which was really exciting and I proved to myself that even when life throws in some curve balls, I can still make good choices. 

With all this in mind, I recommitted to losing 10 more pounds before New York Comic Con in October and I stood by that new goal while attending the Ren Faire, even though it would have been easier to celebrate with a cheat day. Those of you who have been to a faire before know that it's filled with delicious turkey legs, chocolate dipped cheese cake, and all matter of tempting distractions. This year, they also had my greatest weakness, pulled pork sandwiches (/swoon). Two of my friends got them and I was so envious, but I stuck to my guns at got the cheese, veggie, and fruit plate with crackers. I was actually pretty shocked to see the portions of everything that was served in general, even my dish. I've been so used to having everything "perfectly portioned for weight loss." All around me, people were eating gargantuan meals large enough for two or even three people and thinking nothing of it. That being said, I really enjoyed my grapes and cheese and carrots. I skipped on the crackers and handed off half of the cheese to a friend who was still hungry. Later I treated myself to about a half cup of lemon ice, which was delicious and refreshing in the intense heat, and again passed off the remainder to friends once I felt I'd gotten the good of it. This whole "passing off to friends" thing is working wonders when it comes to eating off  of the Nutrisystem plan because I just get food out of my face when I know I'll be tempted to snack on it after I've already filled up. The whole day was really fun and I spent money I'd normally spend on food on accessories for my Ren Faire outfit.

After we got in the car, we were going over pictures from the day and everyone wanted to see the "before" photo from last year's fair and match it up with this year's picture. It was really cool to see the differences, even the subtle ones, so I compiled the two photos together so you can see them side by side. Sadly they're not the same size, but then again, neither am I! 

Let me know how you like my improved costume! :)