Officially Frustrated

I'm one of those people who weighs every day. I do it to get a sense of how my eating affects my fluctuations and to get myself used to seeing fluctuations rather than being surprised by them. 

That being said, I've eaten and exercised PERFECTLY every day this week except for Thanksgiving day and I only lost .8 lbs. The scale has been STUCK at 192.2 for 3 days and I don't get it. It's not going up or down and I've been really active. I just don't see how I can't have lost any weight at all since Thursday and it's really grinding my gears. Today is weigh-in day and I have almost nothing to show for it even though I ate pretty responsibly at Thanksgiving and stuck 100% to plan on the other days. 

I know I just need to keep working and that plateaus do happen but "MEH" I say. "MEH" indeed. I am most disappointed at this turn of events.

Thanksgiving: One Short Day of Indulgence

Now I can finally say I've made it through a Thanksgiving while on a diet. Did I make every healthy choice? No. But I totally exhibited self control while enjoying delicious food for ONE SPECIAL DAY of indulgence. I started the day with a Nutrisystem breakfast bar and a fast paced cardio workout on the elliptical. I got off the subway a few stops early and walked to work. I had two slices of dried mango at work and shared a small pumpkin cupcake with a friend at work to keep me going and then I used the rest of my calories for the day on dinner. I had a slice of turkey, two spoons of sweet potato casserole, green beans, spinach, a spoon full of mac & cheese, a cup of apple cider and a piece of pumpkin crumb cake. After dinner, we all did salsa dancing in the living room since I was celebrating with a bunch of dancers and choreographers. It was pretty wild and not what I'm used to when celebrating with my own family, but certainly a lot of fun! In the end I only put on .2 lbs after the whole active day and today I hopped right back on my diet plan. The important thing is to keep your eyes on the prize and to not fall of the wagon. Hope everyone enjoyed the day and is back on track today!

Giving Thanks

Knowing that Thanksgiving was coming around the corner, I've been working out every day after work. My work is really exhausting. I give tours all day and walk roughly 5 miles up and down 4 flights of stairs every day. So by the time I get home, I'm ready to sit down and relax.

Well not this week! :) I've been keeping my nose to the grindstone and putting in the work.

This morning topped it off though! I had been planning to rest on Thanksgiving and just enjoy everything in moderation, especially since I'm scheduled to work during the day. Well this morning I woke up around 5:30AM for no reason and couldn't get back to sleep. Then, I realized my first tour wasn't going to start until 11:30AM. 

I could have stayed in bed as I'd planned and given myself a break, but I didn't. Before I could even think about it, I hopped out of bed, threw on my gym clothes and began schlepping myself the 6 blocks to the gym. After I was done sweating out a cardio workout, I headed back to my apartment to shower. During the walk I was thinking about all the things that have changed since I started this whole healthy mission.. quest... thing! Sorry, I can never resist quoting Lord of the Rings. ANYWAYS! 

• I've lost almost 60 lbs, sure. But that's just on the surface! 
• 5 months ago, I would not going to the gym because I had extra time to kill. 
• I wasn't as self assured as I am now because I was never brave enough to ask for what I wanted or demand what I deserve. I didn't think I was worth it. Now I know I am!
• I didn't have a boyfriend who is proud of my journey and my determination to succeed rather than the results that succeeding will yield.
• I had NO self control. 
• I didn't know how to forgive myself for mistakes. 
• I didn't know how to indulge without derailing myself.
• I didn't have awesome cheerleaders and peers who teach me about what it takes for us to reach our goals EVERY DAY!

All that said, I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving where I was thankful for MYSELF, which seems really selfish I guess, but there you have it. I'm thankful for a lot of things this year, but most of all I'm thankful for the changes in me and I hope you're all thankful for yourselves too!

Thanksgiving Diet Plans

Today I weighed in at an even 57 lbs lost. I lost 3.6 pounds this week, which makes me very happy since it makes up for my puny -1.5 lbs lost weigh ins from the past two weeks. Of course any loss is nothing to sniff at but I like to aim for two pounds lost every week. Plus I'm always happy to see my weight go DOWN during the holidays.

This weekend my boyfriend and I decided to challenge ourselves to make beef stew so we could eat it whilst enjoying "Game of Thrones." My goal was to make it in the healthiest way possible. I used low sodium broth, cut away the fattiest bits of the meat, and loaded it with more veggies than called for. Maybe this would be weird, but next time, I'd consider using sweet potatoes instead of the regular kind. I think the sweet/savory mix would probably be delicious and of course healthier. It turned out really yummy, I got a guilt-free break from the Nutrisystem program AND I learned something new!

I'm curious about what everyone is planning to do for Thanksgiving this week. I'm planning on skipping my afternoon snack and having a little white turkey, a couple spoonfuls of sweet potatoes and a small serving of desert while staying strictly on plan for the rest of the week/exercising after work every day. I feel like that will be a fine planned indulgence for the holiday. I think the important thing will be to have a plan and not just fly blind. Good luck everyone and Happy Thanksgiving!

Surviving My First Vacation on a Diet

This weekend was a true test for me. I went to Annapolis to sing at a friend's wedding being held at The Naval Academy. My goal was to have lost 50 lbs by then. I'm proud to say I passed that test with flying colors- and with a few pounds to spare! I even bought a new dress and some jewelry to match for the occasion. Size 14 and my first time out of the plus size section in quite a while! What do you think? :)

The wedding weekend was a test in itself. It was my first vacation while on this diet and I don't think I did too badly. I still lost a pound and a half this week overall (though I know I put on a pound and a half over the four days I was gone which is kind of sad :( ). Mostly I tried to give myself free rein to eat whatever I wanted within reason. I had my breakfast bar every morning and a cup of coffee with skim milk and splenda. After that I veered off program. I would just take tastes of the things offered that interested me (mostly crab of all kinds since it was Maryland after all!). When it came to deserts I just had a little bit of cake or whatever, but not the whole thing. It wasn't a perfect system but I held myself pretty accountable most of the time. My biggest downfall was drinking a few too many cocktails over the course of the celebrations, but I was surrounded by naval officers who were ferrying me from bar to bar and I didn't want to be antisocial. I know that's terrible excuse, though. I did manage to go to the hotel's gym on Sunday to work out for an hour. I walked everywhere because I don't drive. Plus, at the reception we danced like crazy! At least I can say I remained active!

Even though I didn't make the two pounds lost mark for the week, I think I exhibited a fair amount of self control in a tough situation. The result was that I got to indulge a little bit without gaining any weight overall this week. Huzzah! This morning, I hopped back on the plan and now I'm recommitting my energy to weight loss.

Calorie Count Signs in NYC

I have to say I'm LOOOVING that Mayor Bloomberg has insisted that all stores post calorie counts on their menus in NYC. Not only is it enlightening, but it makes flexing my Nutrisystem plan super easy. I'm able to assess what fits our guidelines way more accurately and when I treat myself to something, I can be sure I'm making the best possible choice. It also makes it easier to resist temptation when I see what some of the stuff I used to gorge myself on is worth. Yikes. Knowledge is power!

Shopping with Harley Quinn!

Well, not Harley Quinn, but my best friend Emily, who was the Harley Quinn to my Poison Ivy during Halloween 2011. You can see my costume in my "Before Photos." When we were joking about the hilarious Batman episode where Bruce Wayne take them shopping, I never thought I'd end up in one of Gotham's premiere shopping locales just over one year later shopping for a dress to wear to a friend's wedding. I certainly didn't think I'd have lost over 50 lbs. The bride (oddly ALSO named Emily) asked me to sing at the ceremony so I wanted to make sure I looked the part! Her colors are eggplant, sage green, and silver, so I'm really excited that I found this pretty eggplant colored dress so that I won't clash with the wedding party.

We learned many things at Macy's today. Here is a list of lessons from my shopathon and a preview of THE DRESS that I hope will amuse you all. Don't worry, I'll take better pictures at the wedding when I'm completely styled. :)

1. For two geeky gals who hate shopping, we sure are good at it when we're together. We get in, get the job done, get out, and level up. Then on to the next item on the agenda. 
2. If something looks bad, do a silly booty shaking jig until both parties convulse with giggles.
3. If a dress looks like bacon, put it on IMMEDIATELY. You'll hate it, but you'll laugh REALLY hard.
4. If a dress looks like a delicate purple butterfly, put it on IMMEDIATELY. Cause who doesn't want to be a butterfly?
5. If a dress is... um. Purple AT ALL. PUT IT ON IMMEDIATELY. CAUSE PURPLE IS FLATTERING ON ME. However, not all dresses that are purple are flattering on me.
6. Ok, but for realz, now. Apparently I am TOO THIN for the plus size section! Today, after trying on a ton of dresses there, we just could not find anything I wasn't swimming in. Suck it, fat! VICTORY. I am a size 14 for the first time in a really LONG time. Last time I checked my size I was a size 20.
7. The plus size department is like the neglected dreary attic of any department store. Most people have only heard of it in legend. When you arrive, it's practically abandoned. It's dark, unorganized, and no one wants to help you or look at you. The very air tastes like shame and smells of self loathing. All the dresses have giant weird oversized floral prints and strategically placed swathes of sparkles or beading that are supposed to imply that "there's nothing to see here" when really it just creates a beacon that tells the viewer you're desperate for them to be looking ANYWHERE ELSE THAN AT YOUR FLAWS. Weirdly, you don't realize how awful that department is until you are finally able to escape to the normal section- WHICH WE DID! Victory lap, bitches!
8. My best friend will tell you she's bad at shopping but she has great taste and always makes me feel like the best possible version of me! So many of my friends have been supportive of my progress, but she's has been there every step of the way to pick me up when its hard and remind me of my accomplishments along the way. Of course, she was there for me BEFORE I started to lose the weight as well. She is my rock and I love her. ♥

Today was also my weigh-in day! I've lost 52 lbs total so I'm feeling pretty good about that. Hopefully I'll be able to to stay on track during the nuptial celebrations next weekend!

Alice in Onederland

I'm no wilting little girl Alice, folks. I'm warrior Alice. Ok, I grant you the Tim Burton movie was terribad, but seeing as I've finally dipped below 200 lbs, I'm happy to be in Onederland at long last!

I've been struggling to get to this point for what feels like a million years. 

I never want to go back. I have to savor this moment as a victory, but keep it as a reminder of how hard it was to reach. I remember the last time I was doing a weightloss program and I dipped below 200 lbs. I said the same thing. "Never Again." Clearly I turned that promise to myself into a lie...

Obviously I stumbled and fell that time, but I was desperate and I was ill. I was suffering from anorexia and depression and I was completely unhealthy. I believed that if I couldn't control my actions with a vice-like grip, it wasn't worth trying at all. When I finally broke under the pressure, I gained over 100 lbs in 3 years. I'm so ashamed when I think about that and of course saddened by what I put my body through, let alone what I did to destroy my self image. 

This time I feel like I'm really making life changes in my behavior and even in the way I think about food and staying active. I'm not afraid of saying "Never Again" now because I really mean it. Also, I will "never again" view Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.